video. un: p.parker | don't drink and vlog, people

[madeupnames]

WOOOOOO—

[THUMP, CLATTER, A CURSE WORD THAT STARTS WITH 'MOTHER' THAT COMES FROM A POLITE LITTLE VOICE.]

Wheeew — Helloooo Riverview!

[There's a shuffling of feet as the familiar voice carries further away, like he's walking away from the feed. Someone calls distantly: 'Enjoy your glory years, kid!']

Thank you, sir! Where's the tram...? Which street again — Oh! I dropped my — [Dropped his phone. Oops. Right! He picks it up, squinting into the feed; Peter looks — well, drunk. He's very drunk. He whispers a little lower:] Hey, sorry, oops — sorry, it's late and I'm kinda noisy. I'll shut up. Shhhh.

[He staggers sideways in his attempt to sneak quietly, so there's that.]

Guys, I was, like, so worried about drinking? But I feel great! Mr. Wilson, thanks for helping me loosen up a little; I dunno why I was even nervous. I even did the karaoke thing on my own. Like, the thing on my bucket list? Man... It was so fun... I don't think I had that much fun in... I don't even know when. Heh. I love you guys. [He whispers in a giggle to himself, looking around and ignoring the feed for a moment:] I have noooo idea where I'm at... Oh, wait! that's Centerfield Lane, I'm doing great...!

But where's the tram again? Shit. Iiii mean 'crap'. Crap is what I meant.

Uuuuh. Hold on. [The feed blacks out again, and there's the telltale sounds of someone clearly climbing up a fire escape toward someone's roof. He's very coordinated for a drunk teenager.] There we go! I seeeee it now. Cool, awesome. Cool.

[He looks at the feed again, the background higher up.]

So I was thinking! I've been spending soooo much time moping about stuff I can't, uuuuh. Do anything about, so I was figuring... why not relax a little? I got this To Do List thing I wanna get done, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to help with it? It'll be fun!

I got stuff like — [He counts off on his fingers.] learning how to kniiit, surfiiing, learning origaaami... Holding a really big snake? When I was a kid I always wanted to face my fears and hold a snake, and I almost got a chance to, but then I remembered how scary snakes are and chickened out...!

[He waves at someone down below, sounding so happy.]

Heeeey! You wanna hug?! I have 'give a stranger a hug' on my to do list!

['Dude, what are you doing on a roof at eleven at night?!' the teenaged kid calls back.]

I'm drunk!

['I guess I can hug you?!' Peter fist pumps.]

Awesome!

[The kid down below yells back from cupped hands: 'Hey—! You're gonna break your neck up there! Get down!']

It's cool, I've got really good balance!

[He gives the guy a thumbs up. This is all still recording. Save him.]

Comments

[wiccant]

( okay, okay, he'll give peter a cool handshake. maybe he can pull him in a little from the ledge, at least--but peter handles that himself, pulls billy in for a hug and.

this is fine. at least he can make sure the spiderkid doesn't take a leap at a bad time. with a low sigh billy wraps an arm around peter's shoulders, gives him a gentle pat. )

Good to see you, too. And thanks, but I'm pretty sure you're cooler.

[madeupnames]

Noooot a chance. But thanks for th'confidence boost.

[He snort-laughs.

Also obviously his identity is still secret. So. You clearly have no idea who he is.

Peter is totally undercover here, just a regular drunkboy, no powerrssss.

He pulls away and beams.]

There's an old computer in the dumpster, and I wannit.

[wiccant]

( poor peter. still believes secret identities are a thing. .

but billy isn't letting go of him even if he leans out of the hug. keeps a hand pressed to a shoulder, just in case peter decides to get adventurous. )

Do you want to just go to the electronics store? I share my rent three ways, I have plenty of spare credits. .

[madeupnames]

[He tries, okay! But at the mention of the store, he shakes his head dramatically.]

Noooo, I love old tech! I wanna make something with it... Like, uh —

Look, I can't think right now, but I bet I could make it something awesome.

[He really likes that word tonight. 'Awesome'. He's used it like a bajillion times.]

[wiccant]

( peter parker why are you like this. but fine, whatever!! feet lift off of the ceiling as billy just. hovers around, blue sparks flying off of his fingertips. )

Stay here, I'll get it.

( he's got his eyes on you!!! with a very pointed look, billy steps over the edge of the ceiling, moves to. retrieve peter's dumpster computer, why. )

[madeupnames]

[Peter watches with bated breath...!]

Look out for rats, dude! Rats are gross!

[The things ya' do for nerds.]

[wiccant]

I could buy you literally any computer you wanted.

( it's grumbled low under his breath, stopping just above the trash can to plant feet carefully along the edge of it and

dig through the mess to get to the computer. god this is gross. why is peter like this. )

[madeupnames]

[He calls back, despite surely being too far up to have heard Billy as a normal fucking human being:]

But then who'll use this one???

... Are you sure you don't want me t'do it instead?

[wiccant]

( god peter, you're so bad with this secret id stuff. it's good billy already knows and doesn't care, or else. )

I've got it, it's fine!

( he's washing all of his clothes as soon as he gets home, like the spoiled little nerd he is but. the old computer tower eventually gets grabbed between his hands and lifted out of the trash can. )

[madeupnames]

[He looks sparkly-eyed at it, ready to take it whenever Billy wants to rid his hands of it.]

Looks like a Laser 128 Apple II clone — they didn't just copy the input output system, they reverse-engineered the whole thing. Cost almost 500 bucks in the late 90's, but s'one of the only cheaper alternatives to Apple computers at the time.

[...

hiccup]

[wiccant]

( what a nerd. a drunk, tiny nerd. but he hands over the computer easy enough. anyone who can wear a skintight suit and swing from building to building probably has enough balance even when drunk not to drop stuff. )

Want any help getting it home?

[madeupnames]

Dude, I'm super—

[wait, he obviously doesn't know he's Spider-Man, duh.

DUHHH.]

—happy to get some help. F'you wanna... [He does a 'wooo magic' gesture.]

[wiccant]

( super strong? super fast? has super good balance? super drunk? there's a lilt to the corners of billy's lips--yeah, he knows. but this is probably a little safer. and it means he can keep an eye on peter, too. )

Yeah, got it. ( a raise of a hand, the blue spark of chaos magic at his fingertips as he murmurs something akin to peter's home and opens a nice fancy blue door leading straight into his studio.

good thing he doesn't use his powers for evil. )

Kids first.

[madeupnames]

M'not a kid, wow!

[Hiccup.

Also, he's gonna just stagger into his apartment. And then he notices his Spider-Man action figure that Billy made Spider-Man, sitting on the coffee table, so he whirls around and puts one free hand over Billy's eyes.]

Waitwaitwait, don't look! I have, uuuuh —

[THINK PETER]

—porn! On my table! I'm ashamed!

[That was not remotely fuckin' convincing, Pete, good job.]

[wiccant]

( there's a hand over his eyes and a very nervous peter talking as fast as he can to get billy to stop and for a moment, he does. because obviously peter's trying to hide something or doesn't want him to see something and maybe it's something he definitely wouldn't want to see, either--

except peter keeps talking and billy's bursting out into laughs by the time he finishes, hand raising up to cover his own mouth under the hand pressed to his eyes. )

I have three brothers. There is absolutely nothing you could have in your place that would phase me.

( including spidersuits. you can thank tommy for 90% of that. )

[madeupnames]

[Oh my gooooood.

He's turning. So red. But he keeps his hand up.]

It's — It's, uh —

It's a Iron Man shrine I'm working on! Super embarrassing fanboy stuff!

[Genius.

.... Look, he's too drunk to lie properly right now.]

[wiccant]

I've got a ridiculous collection of Captain America stuff. And Asgardian stuff.

( but he slides that hand up a bit anyway, under peter's. look, he's covering his eyes. absolutely is not looking at any of his things. definitely not. )

See you later, I guess? Since you don't want me seeing your embarrassing porn stash and your Iron Man shrine.

[madeupnames]

You do—?!

[No no Peter, focus.]

I, uh, I could, um — put the stuff away? If you wanna, I dunno, watch a movie or somethin'.

[He'd fall asleep the first ten minutes with what his blood alcohol levels are, but he feels rude just totally making him leave the apartment. That's just terrible manners, is what it is.]

[wiccant]

( it gets peter sitting down safely in his own house, which is an amazing idea, honestly. the hand doesn't lower, billy doesn't peek through. testing waters with someone who has super senses isn't a great. he knows better than that. )

Sure. I'll wait here for you to finish so I don't trip on anything.

( as soon as he raises a hand behind him and moves his fingers delicately, closing the door he'd opened. )

[madeupnames]

Gotcha! Thanks!

[The evidence of Spider-Man is very quickly moved to under the bed, of course, in a box that is very carefully labeled as 'extra kitchenware', because that's about as boring as boring gets. When it's all cleared up, he staggers back over to the magical door, considers it for a moment, and—]

Knock-knock!

[Don't you indulge him, Billy. Don't fucking do it.]

[wiccant]

Who's there?

( i'm so sorry for these absolute dorks.

a flash of light and the 'door' itself dissipates, leaving behind billy in peter's room and sparks of blue going everywhere before they, too, fade out. easy stuff. )

Finish hiding your shrine?

[madeupnames]

I sure did, yup, yuuuup!

[Now it's just other nerdy stuff. Bless his soul, there's still a shelf of action figures, clearly other heroes, some hardly from his universe. They just looked too cool not to get.

As he steps back, he nearly trips on his own feet; very good job, Spider-Man.]

I got a VHS player, too! Found it... in a... trash can...

[For heck's sake, Pete.]

[wiccant]

( it's cute, peter's various collection of nerd stuff. billy has close to the same: peter's seen his action figures. he would have witnessed more nerdy stuff, too, if teddy wasn't as good at picking up stuff as he is. )

Why would you want a VHS player? Do they even have any tapes here?

( peter, pls. not that he's focusing on that. instead, billy's attention shifts to the action figures, and the other items strewn about. )

This's nice.

[madeupnames]

I found a few, yeah! Mostly bad movies. S'why I did a bad movie night before.

[He holds up a flick.]

This one's Titanic: The Animated Musical.

[wiccant]

( nts: keep up with peter a little better. might be handy. )

The Animated Musical?

( he loves a good musical, but. )

Want to watch it?

( maybe he'll get peter to fall asleep. that'd be great. )