(Her chest tightens. Really. It hurts because she knows it's true, knows she could have done better.)

I - I already had it written. (Make that clear at least - she didn't sit down to write a whole bunch of letters right before leaving, rather than using that time to be with Lucretia.) In Starfleet... because our jobs are so dangerous and we never know when we might... when we might be gone.

(She remembers that horrible, sinking feeling she felt when she got Jack's message. Like the void of space had swallowed up. And she did that to Lucretia, when there could have been another way. She was just too caught off guard, too desperate with the hope of seeing Wesley again.)

It wasn't enough, I know it wasn't enough.