@b.crusher | video

[dancingmd]

[Nine years. Nine years since she stepped back through the portal, nine years since she returned to the Enterprise, nine years that inevitably faded some of the memories of this place - but not everything. The faces she knows. Even if she forgets now where that cute little corner market was or what the hell half these gifs and memes mean anymore (if she ever understood in the first place) Beverly never forgets a coworker, a patient, a friend. And she left them all in such a hurry. The portal's connection to her time and place had been tenuous, she had to go then, or risk losing her chance to go home all together.

And now... now she's back, exhausted by the weight of war and the toll of death, new lines etched into her face. When the portal specialist told her it had only been a week since she'd left, she had to laugh. Of course. It seems this place isn't ready to let go of her.

Though not typically a frequenter of the network, it is the easiest and quickest way for her to contact multiple people at once. She doesn't want anyone (else - apologies to Lucretia) to be caught unawares by her sudden reappearance, so she leaves a quick video message:]

Good Morning. This is Dr. Beverly Crusher [of the USS Enterprise no more] reporting that I have returned to Riverview.

[For god's sake, woman, this isn't a mission log. She offers a smile - it's a little sad, but a smile nonetheless.]

I wanted to apologize to those I left without proper goodbyes. I hope you got my messages, at least. I'll be at my apartment for the rest of the day if anyone wants to stop by. Thank you.

Comments

closed to Lucretia

[dancingmd]

[Throughout the intake process, Beverly had been impatient and curt with the poor specialists. She doesn't need an orientation and doesn't want to give them any damn updates on her portal experiences right now, she just wants one thing: Lucretia. She'd known from the beginning that it was going to be hard to leave her but she had no idea how much Lucretia had already changed her. It's not that she regrets going home - even with all the turmoil, she can't regret that, ever, if for no other reason than the chance to see what Wesley became - but it was a rare day that she didn't find herself thinking about Lucretia, missing her, wondering how she was doing, if she got to go home too. Her love for her remained as integral part of her as her love for Jack.

As soon as she was okayed to leave, Beverly burst out of the orientation center and hurried to her old apartment. As she gets closer, however, doubt trickles in and she slows her pace. What if Lucretia isn't even home? She works at Gramayre but Beverly no longer has her schedule memorized. She should have called or texted. Oh, but she wants to hold her and see her, not just hear her. Even worse, what if Lucretia's angry with her? Or what if... what if Beverly's changed too much? What if she's been holding onto the memory of something that can't ever be entirely reclaimed again?

By the time she gets to the door, she's a bundle of nerves and for a moment, her hand hovers uncertainly over the doorknob. Should she knock first? It is her apartment too, she has the keys but... it doesn't feel right. Before she can decide, the decision is made for her as the knob begins to turn.]

[scholiast]

(Oh, it's been a hell of a week.

Thankfully (?) Lucretia doesn't think she's ever made it completely out of a state of something akin to shock and denial; too easy to forget your girlfriend isn't coming back home at the end of the day when you return every night to the apartment you shared with her. To the bed you used to sleep next to her in.

She takes her things out onto the couch and sleeps there, fitfully. She feeds the kittens and makes herself go to work anyway and ignores a lot of texts and calls. It's... a lot easier to ignore things like this, is what she's always found. It's much easier to put up walls and seal yourself in, it's just like casting shields. You do your spells, and you protect what is vulnerable. She knows she can't keep it up forever, that she'll have to sit down and address the hollowness inside of her eventually but– not now, not yet, just... a little bit longer. She doesn't want to start to cry about this. She thinks that if she does, she may never stop.

Several times she considers feeding Beverly's goodbye letter to Junior, if only for a minimum fifteen minutes relief from ever knowing the thing had existed, but it's a petty thought. If she did, she wouldn't be able to get it back. So she doesn't do that, she sort of carries it around with her instead, folded up in a pants pocket or tucked into her sketchbook, not to re-read but just to know that it's there. She can't work out how she feels about it. She's thinking vaguely of that this morning while she gets ready for work in a haphazard fashion, exhausted from lack of sleep; she had an old, familiar nightmare last night. Admittedly, it... may be time to reach out. She tucks her bag underneath of her arm, resolves to call Taako if she has another nightmare tonight, and opens the front door–)

... Beverly?

(There she is, her hand outstretched as if to take the door knob. Almost as if she had never left, but Lucretia immediately notices that she's changed. She's older. There's something different about the way she stares back at Lucretia, who reaches out hesitantly, her hand trembling, to lightly touch her fingertips to her cheek. Checking if she's real. She's been here for more than a year now, she knows how this fucking place works.)

[dancingmd]

(A small, soft oh! is all she can manage, at first. Everything she planned to say evaporates in an instant and she stares at Lucretia as if she's a ghost or a dream. She's had so many of them before, dreams of Lucretia smiling, dancing, doodling, dreams of her crying and shouting and fighting. Only this time, she's real.

Beverly's eyes well up with tears as she presses her cheek into Lucretia's hand. Closing her eyes, she murmurs:)

I missed you so much.

[scholiast]

... Where did you go?

(Lucretia's voice can only come out in a whisper over the lump in her throat. She drops her things on the floor, and cups Beverly's face in both her hands, stroking her cheek with her thumb. To have her home again just like that, after a week's heartache– is it really so simple? Her heart is racing.

Beverly has tears in her eyes. She must have gone home and come back again, as Loki had done, but... 'I missed you so much'; as did Lucretia, but not so much to come to stare at her lover as if seeing a ghost.)

And for how long?

[dancingmd]

I went...

[Home. It was supposed to be home. But Ronin took Caldos from her and now Shinzon took away the Enterprise. Opening her eyes, she takes a deep breath and starts again.]

I went back to Kesprytt. To get Jean-Luc. And then... I've been on the Enterprise for the past nine years.

{ action }

[franciscoramon]

[ It had only been a week. Cisco hadn't even come close to accepting the fact that Beverly was gone, and that he wasn't going to get another chance to surprise a laugh out of her, or hear another tale of all her adventures, or tell her about some new silly piece of gossip he had heard. A week was long enough to feel sad about her leaving, but not to truly feel her absence.

And now, out of nowhere, she is back! In Cisco's delight, in his rush to get out the door to go see her, he didn't make much of those small changes that were visible in the video. He didn't notice she seemed older, a little more weary. He just noticed it was Beverly and she was back.

His knock on her door, when he arrives ten minutes later and out of breath (he had actually jogged from the taxi) is loud, and he also calls out: ]

Beverly?

[dancingmd]

[After reuniting with Lucretia and being reassured that all was well there, Beverly is more than ready to receive other visitors, to see the faces of those she's missed so dearly - and almost none more than Cisco's.

She throws open the door with tears in her eyes, but she's smiling, a much more genuine one than the one on her video.]

Cisco!

[She takes his face between her hands and studies his face. He hasn't changed, of course he hasn't, it hasn't been enough time for him. But that only makes it all the stranger for her.]

whoops sorry this took me a million years

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco is a little surprised when Beverly puts her hands on the sides of his face and just looks at him. It wasn't her usual way of greeting him, but then, this isn't a usual get-together. She'd been gone. She'd written him a letter, and it had been obvious in every word that she didn't think she was ever going to see him again.

And now that they are face-to-face, and he isn't worrying that the whole thing is some kind of hoax or trick or side-effect of something or other (strange things happen in this place; visions and memories and ghosts and hallucinations...), he sees the changes. That she looks a little older - and if it's enough for him to see it, it must have been at least a few years, right?

Cisco, being Cisco, just comes out with it and asks: ]

How long's it been? For you.

[dancingmd]

Nine years.

[She holds his face for just a moment longer. She never expected to see him again, to see any of them again. At best, perhaps Wesley could have gotten them a message, but she wouldn't have been able to come with him.

She drops her hands from his face, but still doesn't let go, taking his hands instead.]

I missed you so much. I'm sorry, that all I could leave you was a letter... there wasn't much time.

video | un: breq

[breqintopieces]

[Breq hasn't been here as long as some of the other people of the quarantine, hasn't quite formed the bone-deep connections that lead so many to wonder whether they'll go or stay. Despite her own quiet surety that she'll stay here, rather than return, she's still used to the nature of this place as being ultimately transient. It's not meant to be anyone's final resting place.

So she hadn't been surprised by the message from the doctor. Rueful, to lose a contact she'd been enjoying, but not at all surprised. Ready to spare a thought and sympathetic word for Lucretia, more than concerned about her own feelings.

This reappearance, though, is definitely a surprise. She's already making plans to drop by later, but for now, a more immediate response seems most prudent, so she uses her device to start up a response, offering a nod and a smile first thing.]

I did. Welcome back, doctor.

[dancingmd]

[Well coming back certainly wasn't part of the original plan, that's for sure. Beverly's as surprised as Breq, if not more so. But either way, she's happy to see her old friend.]

Thank you, Breq. It's good to see you again. It's... been a long time.

[breqintopieces]

How much time?

[She can see the new lines in Beverly's face, certainly, the weary set to her posture in that video, the weight of time sitting further on her, the way it did on some of Justice of Toren's captains during a particularly stressful annexation. More than just the simple passing of years, that look speaks of the heavy burden of experience.]

I'll admit, I didn't expect the return.

[dancingmd]

No. [She sighs softly.] I didn't expect it either.

[This time, she has to admit it makes more sense. With the turmoil of the past few years, she's felt that she's lost a little of her grounding.]

It's been nine years, after all.

[breqintopieces]

[Like a reverse Seivarden, Breq thinks to herself. Growing older while the world stays the same, instead of being lost in an escape pod for a thousand years while the world carried on without her.]

I look forward to getting to know the person you've become, then.

Private-Video

[11calls]

[Alex can't help but notice both the lines on the other woman's face, and the sadness in her smile. It makes Alex frown in response, and she does something that she doesn't normally do: actually turn on the camera for the message reply. Her own look is concerned, and she just leans forward a bit.]

Beverly, are you okay?

[Because that's what's way more important than asking if she remembered or anything else right now. That can always come later.]

[dancingmd]

[How sweet - Beverly's look softens at the sight of Alex's concerned face.]

I'll be all right. It's just... I came from a memorial service, for a friend.

[11calls]

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything you need?

[dancingmd]

That's a big question, isn't it? Right now, it's hard to say. Probably a counselor of some sort, to start.

[They won't be Deanna but then... perhaps it'd be good, to talk to someone who isn't personally affected too.]

[11calls]

[Alex just nods for a second, because she gets that. Unfortunately, she doesn't know anyone around here who does that.]

Is there someone at the hospital who has that a speciality? I mean, I don't but if it ever gets bad enough that you need a non-judgmental ear, I'm here.

action.

[winscenario]

[ After getting that letter, which has admittedly left him feeling more than just a little depressed for the past week, Beverly's face on the network is the last thing he expected to see.

It throws him for a loop. She looks different, sounds different too, but it soon become apparent that she still remembers being here before.

So, he doesn't waste time. He rushes to her flat, hoping she'll be there when he knocks on the door, still panting a little as though he ran all the way here. (He didn't, he came on his bike.) ]

action

[dancingmd]

[She's there, still trying to get her bearings. It's strange to come back to this apartment after being gone for so long and finding it basically just as she left it, cats and all. Lucretia has been an immense help, of course, but there's still going to be a long adjustment period, she thinks.

When she answers the knock on the door, she's unsurprised to find Jim standing there, looking all hurried and windswept. Though she told herself she'd done enough crying for today, her eyes are once more welling up with tears. Lucretia wasn't the only one she felt guilty for leaving on such short notice.]

Jim...

[winscenario]

[ When it's Beverly opening the door, Jim feels a mix of quarrelling feelings, both relief and upset, both joy and sadness. His heart clenches in his chest, and when she says his name he just barely manages to bite back a sob.

His breathing comes out shaky and audible, though, and he moves forward suddenly and scoops her up in a tight hug. ]

I thought you were gone. [ The words touch somewhere deep down, somewhere he hasn't looked into in a long time, and this time he really can't help sobbing a little. ] For good.

[dancingmd]

[She lets out a surprised gasp but then she wraps her arms around him, giving him the space he needs to let it all out. It's only been a week for him, after all, an emotional whiplash with no time to grieve properly.]

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Video | un:unbeatablesg

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Welcome back, I guess. We've never met, but it seems like the thing to say.

[Doreen, and the squirrrl on her shoulder, give Beverly a wave]

I'm Doreen, by the way. And this is Tippy-Toe. It's nice to meet you.

[dancingmd]

[Oh! She wasn't expecting anyone new to say hello, but she's not opposed to it either.]

Pleased to meet you, Doreen. And Tippy-Toe!