Video | HAPPY... LATE... BIRTHDAY??? | @p.parker

[madeupnames]

[The feed is mostly full of textbooks, the spines all turned enough that they're legible; it's math, chemistry, social studies, all the fun things nobody misses from high school. And on the right side of the screen is Peter, sitting with his cheek on his palm and his elbow pressed beside a blank page of paper. He looks kind of sleepy, like he'd just nod off if he didn't have the feed to focus on.]

So I've got this essay I need to write by tomorrow, and I'm having a hard time getting — personal, and all that. The prompt's asking about what inspires you, specifically. [He looks to read it word-for-word:] 'What motivates you in your day to day life?' And I mean, I've got a lot of motivations, but trying to put it to paper is giving me a wicked case of the fogbrain.

[He tucks his pen under his nose, holding it with his upper lip for a moment before letting it fall pitifully to the table. He sighs.]

What motivates you guys? Into doing what you do? What makes you put your shoes on in the morning, huh?

And don't just say 'to avoid stepping on pointy stuff barefoot'. That's a cheap and obvious answer—

[Peter startles violently as birthday music blares behind him, so much so that his pencil goes flying through the air and RIP's somewhere off-screen. Pam the pancake making robot seems to be flying onto the scene in the background with freshly made pancakes and festive lights blinking all over her.



A little lighter arm pops out, preparing to light a lone candle on the stack of flapjacks.

Peter mutters, mortified:]

...I thought I disabled Birthday Mode for repairs...

[He looks back at the robot with his hand pressed to his temple, and clears his throat.]



... Pam, uh. My - my birthday was two days ago. Two days. It's August 10th. And, uh, it's... it's the 12th now.

[Peter watches as the AI seems to try to process this, tapping his finger on the table and thinning his lips at the awkward silence. Pam's little plate-holding robo-arms lower slightly, the generic birthday MIDI file slowing to a depressive stop as the party-themed lights and lighter are shut off together. A pause of nothing. Then she turns and dejectedly wheels away into the community kitchen with her plate of pancakes.]

Wait, Pam — Aw, c’mon, I can still eat them! Hey—

[Peter drops his arms.



... Note to self, fix her internal clock...]

Comments

[madeupnames]

I think I can.

... Admittedly, I'm, um. I'm still pretty inexperienced, so making multiple functions is gonna be... new.

[yakyuuman]

Peter Parker is a smart boy! I mean, you built Pam-chan so I know you're gonna make it just fine!

[ He loves Pam and as his creator you've got his respect multiplied tenfold. ]

[madeupnames]

[His ears redden a little.]

I wouldn't be too sure.

... But since you're putting your faith in me, I guess I just gotta try my best to prove you right?

[yakyuuman]

I believe in you! At your age I could barely build up a class project without setting it on fire by accident! [ He laughs at his dumb high school years... ] But you're clearly a genius and if there's someone who can do his best and succeed it's you!

[ He probably should get a degree in Praising at this rate. ]

[madeupnames]

[Seriously, you're trying to give him a heart attack. He smiles down at his bed.]

To be fair, I've almost set a few things on fire before. What's a good experiment without a few hiccups?

[yakyuuman]

That's the thing! I gave up at my first attempt, but you wouldn't, right?

[ They're so different. He gave up, and that's why he became a NEET. But he can still help youngsters like Peter find their ways to success with his weird pep talks. ]

I trust that you won't set Pam-chan on fire if you run into some fails!

[madeupnames]

[A huff, though not unkind in the least.]

Sometimes not giving up can be a problem. But in this case — I'll say I definitely won't.

[yakyuuman]

Atta boy! Do your magic and I'm sure Pam-chan will be loved for it!

[ He tosses the comic aside and abruptly stands up, flexing his arms without prompt whatsoever. ]

Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle! Come on now Peter, open up the cake! I want a slice! I'm getting hungry!

[madeupnames]

I didn't know I needed muscle to open a cake up.

[But he pops open the box, anyways — how's it look, Jyushi? Is it a safely transferred cake?

.... There aren't any weird designs on it, are there?]

[yakyuuman]

You've got to use the muscle for anything! The brain is a muscle too, right?

[ Fortunately for Peter, it's not something alien at all! Jyushimatsu bought the cake in a hurry and so it's got a pretty plain design, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER haphazardly scribbled with frosting, and a bunch of blue and red candles on the side, ready to be used.

Jyushimatsu hums, looking at it with slight disappointment. ]

Should have made it a baseball theme... [ He would have stuffed a whole fucking baseball in it tbh. ]

[madeupnames]

Heh, maybe next time. I love the Mets a crazy lot, so I wouldn't mind baseball stuff in there.

[He smiles, holding up the packaged candles.]

Think about the positives, right? At least it's a cake and not a piranha trap. Or Ghost Shark.

[yakyuuman]

But imagine a cake shaped like a Ghost Shark! It'd be both harmless and awesome! I should remember to commission it next year! [ UH OH... ]

[madeupnames]

[Well, you know what, man? Reach for the ghost shark stars.]

... I wouldn't say no to a cool shark cake, honestly.

... Maybe shark cookies.

[yakyuuman]

Then I'll commission the shark cake AND cookies next year! Let's make a Ghost Shark party!

[ HE NEVER HALF-ASSES ANYTHING BRO. ]

[madeupnames]

[Snerk.]

Right. Or we can do it for your birthday? Tit for tat?

[He pokes a candle into the cake, looking pleased.]

[yakyuuman]

[ He jumps, like he's just heard the best thing ever. ]

Wah! That works too! I'd loooove to have a shark themed birthday, but also with baseball!

[madeupnames]

... Sharks playing baseball?

[yakyuuman]

You're such a genius, Peter! [ STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS. ]

At any rate, we should get the candles there and light them up so you can make a wish!