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video; @waltz
[It's that man in the suit again, broadcasting live to you from a room currently being decorated with tables, lights, and tasteful decorations.]
Hello everyone,
To any newcomers, my name is Cameron Waltz, and I'm currently serving as your public representative. It's been a pleasure to get to know so many of you over the network, and I think we could all stand to get to know each other even better in person.
I'd like to extend an open invitation to the "Bring Yourself" arts and culture event this Sunday at Riverside Community Centre. This will be an exhibition of all the different cultures and people Riverview has to offer. Whether it's food, artwork, music, or a story, everyone has something of value to contribute, no matter where you're from, so I'd encourage everyone to bring a little piece of home to share with others. If you can't think of something to bring, or simply don't have the time or energy, bring yourself. You're from somewhere else too, and I guarantee you bring something interesting in just being yourself.
The walls are empty, the stage is free, there's an open floor for dancing and more active demonstrations, and the venue is booked for from 5pm-12am. Come when you want and wear what you like. Refreshments will be provided. I'm happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have on this post.
Please come. I'm well aware of the current going ons in the city, many of which are incredibly stressful, which makes coming together as a community and expressing yourself in a safe space even more necessary.
[Passing a few volunteers, Cam walks to the only wall with anything on it. A mixed series of artistic ink calligraphy prints in a variety of different languages.
Cam stops with a slight clearing of his throat, and a very casual gesture towards the prints. Very casual. Which he is not looking at. A tight, shy smile at the camera.]
And I will be putting myself out there right beside you.
[Bring whatever it is your character has to offer that they'd want to show, whether it's a martial arts skill, artistic ability, performance, food, an interesting object, games, there's nothing that doesn't go, characters are free to take the stage/set up a booth/do whatever they want in terms of display, and can drop pieces off or set up in advance! Feel free to be utterly ridiculous.
Event log!]
Hello everyone,
To any newcomers, my name is Cameron Waltz, and I'm currently serving as your public representative. It's been a pleasure to get to know so many of you over the network, and I think we could all stand to get to know each other even better in person.
I'd like to extend an open invitation to the "Bring Yourself" arts and culture event this Sunday at Riverside Community Centre. This will be an exhibition of all the different cultures and people Riverview has to offer. Whether it's food, artwork, music, or a story, everyone has something of value to contribute, no matter where you're from, so I'd encourage everyone to bring a little piece of home to share with others. If you can't think of something to bring, or simply don't have the time or energy, bring yourself. You're from somewhere else too, and I guarantee you bring something interesting in just being yourself.
The walls are empty, the stage is free, there's an open floor for dancing and more active demonstrations, and the venue is booked for from 5pm-12am. Come when you want and wear what you like. Refreshments will be provided. I'm happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have on this post.
Please come. I'm well aware of the current going ons in the city, many of which are incredibly stressful, which makes coming together as a community and expressing yourself in a safe space even more necessary.
[Passing a few volunteers, Cam walks to the only wall with anything on it. A mixed series of artistic ink calligraphy prints in a variety of different languages.
Cam stops with a slight clearing of his throat, and a very casual gesture towards the prints. Very casual. Which he is not looking at. A tight, shy smile at the camera.]
And I will be putting myself out there right beside you.
[Bring whatever it is your character has to offer that they'd want to show, whether it's a martial arts skill, artistic ability, performance, food, an interesting object, games, there's nothing that doesn't go, characters are free to take the stage/set up a booth/do whatever they want in terms of display, and can drop pieces off or set up in advance! Feel free to be utterly ridiculous.
Event log!]
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I lost my virginity to Siouxsie and the Banshees. The album, Peepshow? Still brings back way too many memories of that night!
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Silly, I know. It's just so romantic, and dramatic... and gender neutral.
[So many good love songs feel out of bounds. Alien, because he isn't a woman, or a man who desires a woman. If there are queer love songs, Cam hasn't found them. As a forty-something he isn't on the up and up with new, contemporary music.
Cam can only imagine Jeff losing his virginity like a rock-star. He'd seen him in his youth. Wild, charismatic, and carefree. The polar opposite of himself.]
A tape playing in someone's car?
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[ Even if they're not close to MARRIAGE CHATTER YET, Jeff still believes Cam will have his dream wedding!!
He snorts out a laugh: ] No, that time wasn't in a car. [ But there definitely were plenty of times in a car. HIS OLD TOYOTA HAD SEEN SOME SHIT. ] It was in her bedroom. She snuck me in through the window, I brought it over because she'd never heard the album before... [ SUBTLE TEENAGE SUBTERFUGE. ] Anyway, her dad started pounding on the door before we finished. Then he got it open and threatened to arrest me, 'cause he was a cop-- and she totally promised he was working nights that week!
I had to escape out the window with my pants half on, then jump the fence into her neighbor's backyard. That man was really creative with his threats...
And the neighbors had a very mean dog... Then again, I was trespassing on its turf, so I guess the aggression was justified.
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[He's forty-three and his longest relationship was only a year. In a month or so, Jeff will come in second place. Marriage seems impossibly far away, if not impossible.
Cam's was married, in some sense of the word. For all of a month before they separated. Technically, he's still married.
It's complicated.]
That's so you. All of it.
[Cam laughs, shaking his head. Sexy. Cute. Funny. That's Jeff Calhoun in a nutshell.]
Mine was... not what I was expecting. It doesn't make for a good story.
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[ HE'S TEASING, OF COURSE. Trying to lift Cam's spirits into the realm of optimism. Sure, they're so fresh that 'marriage' is just a far away hypothetical, nothing to seriously entertain at the moment, but that doesn't mean Cam should count that possibility out!
Jeff laughs at Cam's comment. ] Yeahhh... I never got along well with the dads.
[ Even his ex-father-in-law hated him!
ANYWAY. Jeff frowns a little, furrowing his brow, looking like a lost and confused dog for a moment. ]
Why? How'd it go? You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to, but... [ Well. You know. HE'S HERE TO LISTEN. ]
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Finally, with a frazzled smile he hopes Jeff doesn't notice.]
I can see why you wouldn't. There's no doubt in my mind you were a fox in the proverbial hen-house.
[Cam finds a more private spot for this next part of the conversation, away from the volunteers, and anyone who may be listening. A quiet stairwell.]
I've never told anyone. I've always been too embarrassed.
[Cam would much rather have been caught by a parent and chased by a dog.
He rubs at his face and jaw, leaning against a wall, exhaling heavily.]
I'm afraid you'll think less of me. You will think less of me.
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But.
Moving on... ]
Cam, I've got so many stories where I don't come out smelling like roses. Why do you think I'll think less of you for something that happened way in the past?
[ Jeff's, like, the last person who'd get judgey over this kind of thing. Unless Cam's First Time story involved... murder???
...
DID YOU MURDER SOMEBODY, CAM? ]
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Even if he'd strongly considered it.]
Because I lost my virginity to a married man, who was also my college professor. In his office. On his desk. He said he would leave his wife for me. His children. I don't know what's worse. That I believed him, or that I wanted him to.
I was twenty-three. Old enough to know better.
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He took advantage of you, Cam. I'd never think less of you for being young and falling for an asshole.
[ Especially with what he knows of who Cameron Waltz was in his youth. ]
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I wasn't joking when I said I don't have much experience in this area, I've never just dated someone I liked, who wanted to date me back. Until you. Even then, when we first met... and then the second time we met, when I was awful--
[He rubs his face, shaking his head. Close to tears. It really is too easy for him to cry.]
God, sorry. I don't know why I'm talking about this right now. It's too much information.
I liked your story. It was funny, and cute. I'm glad you told me.
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There's no right way to fall for someone. It's one of those things you can't really do by the book, because there isn't a book.
[ It breaks his heart to see Cam like this, close to tears over his track record of being overlooked or unlucky in love. He's so exceptional... Jeff still wants to kick his past self for turning his back on him, being another shitty guy in a long line of them.
Then again, he also remembers how he treated the people he'd dated at that time, and he can't help but think it's for the best, that things hadn't gone anywhere the first time. ]
It's not too much. You're never too much for me, Cam. [ Even if they do fight sometimes! ] Not all my stories are funny and cute. I've got a lot of bad ones, too. You're not alone in this whole... having a fucked up past.
[ He means it as solidarity, not an attempt to downplay Cam's struggles. Hopefully it's taken that way. ]
Want me to come over there? I can help you with the setup.
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But somehow, I still turned out like this. So I think it's a me problem. That there's something wrong with me, personally, because I've never been able to make this work. Relationships. In general. I don't have many friends, my parents... we don't talk, and--
[Cam stops before he can go onto Mazin, the disaster that was his 'first' marriage, because his breath is starting to hitch and he doesn't want to cry here. Doesn't want to feel like this when he's trying to put together something important and beautiful for others. It isn't about him.
He looks up with wet eyes, quickly rubbing his face into the back of his designer sleeve.]
Yes, please.
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Okay. I'm on my way.
[ But he'll still talk to Cam. He keeps the connection going, even if he has to switch to voice because, like, it's not easy to have a video chat with somebody while walking around town.
At least it's not a long walk. ]
I never told you about my childhood, did I? Or my family?
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[That's how it always is with parents. You have family, but then you have your kids. Cam misses JJ so much right now. If he's done anything right with his life, it's her.]
I miss my daughter. We say 'I love you' every night, and I didn't know how much I needed that until now.
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I miss my daughter, too. No matter how well things are going here, I never stop missing her.
But... [ He's not going to let Cam's previous self-loathing observations stand without counterarguments. ] Let's talk about our pasts some more. Just for now.
My parents were-- are-- the best parents I could've hoped for. I got fucking lucky, Cam! My dad's an attorney, and we've never had to worry about money, not as long as I could remember. My mom's an artist; she supported me with my music. Both of them did-- they always supported everything I wanted to do.
My two brothers-- Mike and Eddie?-- they're good guys. Mike was all straight-A's and varsity sports. Prom King and everything. Now he's partner at Dad's law firm, with a wife and three kids. Typical fucking American dream, right? And Eddie, he was kind of a nerd growing up, kind of shy... Then he went to college, kicked ass, worked in all kinds of industries, travels, takes these vacations I could never make enough to save for.
[ Jeff's getting to the point soon, HE PROMISES. ]
And then there's me. I could've been just like Mike. He paved the way for popularity and success! But I wanted to do my own thing, and I had a biiiiig fucking chip on my shoulder.
Did you know I flunked my way out of high school?
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[Listening to Jeff speak is calming. He can close his eyes and lean back against the wall, let the cool soak through the brick and into his shoulders. He always gets himself so fucking worked up. Some days he seriously considers looking for a pill to pop that would keep these highs and lows from happening.
Cam hates them because he can't control them.]
I was an only child. I'm sure you could've guessed. My parents used to be so proud of me.
warning: brief reference to past drug abuse
My parents didn't kick me out over it. They weren't happy, but... Mom said I needed to take things at my own pace because I was a free spirit. And being the free spirit that I was, I decided to move out and strike out on my own.
And, you know, for a couple of years? It was good. I worked hard, built character, and we started making a name for ourselves in the scene. An all-Gifted band, casting spells at every show! What an act!
I mean, the whole time, I was taking any drug I could get my hands on, but hey. I was in control. It was fine. You know, until I did one stupid spell too many and nearly got possessed by a fucking demon!
You know about rehab, and the work I did to recover from all of it, but did you know that even after all of that? I still found ways to keep fucking up and hurting people? And I don't mean in little ways. I mean...
[ He takes a breath. ]
What I'm getting at is... I've got even less of a reason than you do for having a fucked up past. Don't use that as a reason to beat yourself up.
You're not broken, Cam; you're human. No matter how your parents make you feel.
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I mean--
[Cam does love him. That's what he meant. He loves that Jeff is always willing to listen, willing to share, willing to support him when he needs it. They've only been together a month or so, and Cam's told him more about himself, who he is, and what he's really thinking and feeling, than any other man he's ever dated.
He loves everything that makes Jeff who he is, which means he loves Jeff, too.
It's too much, too fast. He knows that, but he can't stop himself. It's who he is.]
I love you. I hope that's okay.
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He's standing outside and he freezes at the door, a big, goofy, lovesick grin spreading on his face. ]
Hang on. One sec.
[ He hangs up. PLEASE DON'T PANIC, CAM! Jeff's inside community center in seconds, and Cam's easy enough to find among the people setting up. Tall, well-dressed, a familiar figure leaning against one of the walls.
Jeff closes the distance between them. He puts his hands on Cam's hips and pulls him close, pulls him into a kiss. It's deep, and urgent, nothing cool or chaste about it. He lifts a hand to slide through the short hairs on the back of Cam's head, his other sliding up his boyfriend's side.
Okay, gotta break for air. ]
I love you.
[ He breathes it out with a laugh. Look, Jeff STRONGLY SUSPECTED he could have loved Cameron Waltz, back in the forest. And then he suspected it further when they actually started dating. He knew his feelings pretty quickly. And when you know... Why bother waiting some socially designated amount of time? It's dumb and arbitrary and they're both too old to drag their feet like a couple of twenty-somethings. ]
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They're kissing. Really kissing. In public. People are watching.
Jeff could tear off Cam's clothes right here and now and he probably wouldn't care. He wants Jeff more than anything.]
Oh. That's good.
[He looks at him with glassy eyes, chest heaving. Leans in to kiss Jeff back with equal want. Hands sliding up and down his back, lingering for support on his broad shoulders.]
I thought you might get a restraining order.
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I was pretty sure I loved you around our first date, Cam. You ever get that feeling before? Like you could talk to someone forever, and you find yourself saying, "I think I could love this person."
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[Cam laughs, ducking his head. Now he's struggling against tears for an altogether different reason.]
Even when I was furious with you, I wouldn't have been half so angry if you didn't make me feel so much, just by looking at you.
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Mm, I used to gripe to my coworkers about the 'mean handsome dad.' You left a lasting impression. More than most parents.
[ He lifts his head and adds, seriously: ]
That's a good thing, by the way.
[ SO DON'T YOU GET INSECURE NOW. ]
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[A moment of silence and a dead stare, WHICH MAY ALARM JEFF, but then he's smiling. Cam's eyes lowering and flicking back up in his particular brand of coy.]
Well, I did gripe to my coworkers about JJ's 'stupid sexy possible stoner teacher', so I suppose I can't be too upset.
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And now you know better. I'm her stupid sexy definite stoner teacher!
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