First Ax [@the.boneless, video]

[ragnarsson]

[It's clear whoever is using this device is unused to it. The picture shifts around for a few minutes, and Ivar's face furrowed in concentration is seen several times before he finally realizes that it's on. He's sixteen, has blue eyes, and oddly enough, blue sclera as well. There's also an ax tucked at his side. He points the phone he's using outward, showing that he's in the kitchen, seated on a chair. His voice, when he speaks, has a vaguely European accent.] I have figured out what these do.

[He shows in turn the fridge, the sink, and the stove. The last one had caused a few burnt fingers, but hey, he'll survive.] But I still have no idea what this does. [He turns the device to the microwave. He's been playing around with the buttons, and while he's been able to turn it on, he hasn't yet realized food is supposed to go inside of it.] Anyone care to enlighten me?

Comments

[ikols]

I am, and you're a mortal, and we both sleep two beds away from each other at night. What a wild ride life is.

[ It's been so long since he didn't have to explain what he was. Ordinarily, mortals rationalise his godhood away into the status of an alien, which isn't accurate at all. Ivar is refreshingly precise, unmuddled by science. ]

Have you met none of the other Aesir? Thor's usually quite chatty with Midgardians.

[ragnarsson]

[It's amazing that his life should have come to this. Yet here he is, sitting in the middle of a kitchen in a strange land, talking with a god like it's the most natural thing in the world.]

Only the All-Father. He came personally to tell me and my brothers that our father was dead. We're descended from his bloodline.

[ikols]

'Only'. I hope seeing my father was a comfort, he has a way with words. [ Sometimes, when it counts.

He takes the seat next to Ivar, folding a leg and chinning a hand on the table. ]

I wonder, does that make us related? On a distant technicality, of course. Would you like that?

[ragnarsson]

Not much of one, but that had more to do with the circumstances than his presence. [Losing his father has hurt worse than anything Ivar had ever known.]

Your father? [From what he's always been told, Odin and Loki were blood brothers. Still, the poets couldn't be expected to get everything right.] Guess the stories got the lineage wrong.

[Loki's question makes his eyes light up and a smile come to his face.] Who wouldn't want to be related to a god?

[ikols]

Poets can be the worst, I'd trust only half of the gossip you hear in songs. Odin adopted me when I was very young, back in Jotunheim. I was a little smaller than Thor at the time.

[ He shares in Ivar's grin, arching a brow. ]

Let's say we're distant cousins, hm? Extended family, you and I.

[ragnarsson]

Good. We can look out for each other here.

[That's what family did, wasn't it? And let's face it, someone needs to put a leash on Ivar to keep him from putting an ax through someone that he shouldn't. Usually that task falls to his brothers, but they aren't here right now.]

[ikols]

I'd like that. [ Considering Asgard has disowned Loki, as of late. The idea of having someone of his own is a comfort he didn't know he was missing until now.

He shrugs, gesturing between them. ]

Is there anything you want to know about the gods? I have nothing but time on my hands if you want to be nosy.

[ Curiosity is a trait that Loki will always encourage. ]

[ragnarsson]

[He leaned forward in anticipation. Oh, this promised to be good. A god himself telling him stories. His brothers would have never believed this.]

Tell me about Tyr.

[His favorite god. Of course he'd go for the one that had a disability like he did.]

[ikols]

He's a general and no friend of mine. We've kept our distance over the ages.

[ No grand tales of Tyr from Loki, unfortunately. ]

[ragnarsson]

Tell me then about Asgard. I'm sure you've got a few stories there the poets never recorded.

[Don't disappoint him now. He wants a good tale.]

[ikols]

A few years ago it was rebuilt on the soil of Midgard. Ah, it floated above it a little, in truth, but sometimes men would visit and climb the ladders that the gods threw down. Then they would feast together.

[ Wild times in Broxton. ]

When it was destroyed, it was rebuilt again but this time back amongst the stars where it belonged, and those who had befriended mortals felt their loss keenly. I remained on Midgard, at length.

[ragnarsson]

[Stories are the stuff of life for Vikings. It's how their entire culture has been passed down. Ivar is no exception. His mother would tell him tales as a child to get him to sleep when the pain in his legs was too great. Floki had told him all about the gods, teaching him of their most famous deeds. But this is something new, a story nobody back home even knows.]

Why did it keep having to be rebuilt? Who destroyed it?

[ikols]

Men of Midgard. Stark was there, at the very least we can say he tried to help a little despite his innate idiocy. I hated him back then, was very different in those days. [ He sends Ivar a wink, the sound of the story far more fantastical than the reality of living it and exploding into a million pieces. ] I was an old man.

[ His hand leaves his chin, black nails rapping on the table where his gaze falls thoughtfully. ]

Sometimes, I still think I am.

[ragnarsson]

[Indeed, the story does sound interesting, far more than the reality of it would have. He wonders at the details that Loki is leaving out.]

Well, you are really old.

[Never let it be said Ivar sugarcoated things.]

[ikols]

[ Snorting, he points at Ivar. ]

You're very rude. Odin would sit on your head and turn it into flatbread! Splat! He's not even that big but he'd do it.

[ragnarsson]

I'm not rude. I'm honest!

[Like there's a difference between the two of them when he's a smart-mouthed teenager.]

What're you going to do, trickster? Turn me into a dog?

[ikols]

I turned Thor into a frog once, so you better show me some respect!

[ Sniffing snootily for show, he sticks his nose in the air and pulls a face. ]

At least ten offerings a day! No, twelve!

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar snorts. There's a reason Vikings liked Asgardians so much. They were just as flawed as the human beings that worshipped them.]

You'll be lucky if you get so much as a goat from me.

[Where he was even going to find livestock in such an urban setting was a better question.]

[ikols]

[ Pretending to sigh sadly, he perks up moments later. ]

Ah, well! I'm more of a bacon man, myself. You've had that, haven't you? It's pig, but excellent.

[ragnarsson]

Of course I've had bacon. Do I look like a poor farmer? My family could afford pigs to eat.

[He likes this easy banter with Loki. It reminds him of conversations with his brothers, sarcasm and quick wit tending to be the order of the day among the five of them. Ivar misses them more than he wants to admit.]

[ikols]

I have to check these things, they're important. Breakfast meats are practically sacrifices at dawn! With ketchup.

[ Gesturing because!! They're so good. (Someone is a little fond of a specific meal of the day.) ]

What about bacon pancakes?

[ragnarsson]

What's ketchup?

[Loki will have to introduce Ivar to the wonders of the modern world of cuisine. He's in a perpetual state of hunger being a teenager.]

Never had them. They sound both excessive and delicious.

[ikols]

I'll make some right now.

[ And he'll show off for Ivar in the process; waving his hands, the fridge swings open and everything he needs to make pancakes with floats over to the worktop surrounded in green light. It dies down when the items settle. ]

Ketchup ... mmm, we'll save that for tomorrow when we'll have a lesson on delicious condiments. For now, syrup will do just fine.

[ Heading over to turn on the oven, more food soars his way via telekinesis. Time to chop the bacon up as a pan melts that butter! ]

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar watches the whole process with wide eyes and there's a look of religious adoration at getting to experience it firsthand on his face. He's heard of magic in many stories, but he's never seen it in person before. With three magic users all on the same floor, he's going to have to get used to it.]

Are you doing this because you're hungry or because you want to show off?

[ikols]

A little bit of both, honestly. Feel special, I don't cook for just anyone.

[ A snap of his fingers and two eggs break into a bowl, whisking themselves unassisted. He does take joy in frying the bacon himself, however, keeping up his conversation with Ivar. ]

Why did you want to know about Tyr?