riverview | video; un: youradhere

Hi, guys.

[The man on the other end of the network smiles awkwardly. He's gearing up for a conversation, but drawing attention to himself is a new experience. The way he draws a breath and fidgets makes it obvious that he's still feeling out the network.]

So, this is definitely on the list of moments that make you think you might be dreaming. It sounds like we have people from just about everywhere here. Someone tell me this isn't the weirdest thing you've ever had happen to you. It'll make me feel better.

Before you got here, did any of you have strange things happen? You know, things out of fantasy movies or fever dreams for everyone else? What's the weirdest thing that you've ever seen?

[He laughs, mixing an exhale into it as he ducks his head.]

Sorry, I'm trying out the whole coaching thing. My name's Christian. Apparently I'm working with the Gramarye Magic Research people as a life coach, so if anyone wants to get a drink sometime and discuss tragic life choices, I have a really open schedule. I'd say we can do lunch too, but is that weird? I don't want to be weird.

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I saw god once. That was pretty fucked up.

[Wow, is that an actual honest answer out of Dodger? Well, he trusts Christian in some odd sort of way. And he does love dropping bombs about his past.

Or he might have just gotten stung by one of his pet fireflies again, who knows.]

Life coach for magical research? Huh.

[ See something new every day. Even when you're nearing 2800. ]

Do you mean relative to peoples' home lives or what's "normal" here?

Weirdest thing I've ever seen? Two people merging into one nuclear-powered burning man. Maybe.

Fantasy movies? What do you mean by that?

I saw a machine ponder the meaning of life and its own existence, even though it should not be physically capable of doing so.

[2B glances to the side, not that Christian can see it because the blindfold is on the way.]

I must admit, the strangest things I have experienced happened after I found myself here.

"Magic" being one of them.

Sorry, but this is definitely the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me.

It is nice to meet you dear Christian. I'm Zacharie, the traditional items merchant. As my world is a video game, I believe there are a number of strange things there for others. Perhaps I would say the strangest thing is the whale enemy due to the sudden appearance of it.

[Although that's likely not the weirdest thing in that sentence, isn't it?]

I got turned down for a scrawny looking nerd once.

[This is what Tony finds weird in his life.]

You saw a god?

[Because that's how he automatically interprets things now. After staring down demon after demon, he takes the word god as another term for one of the myriad of spirits out there.]

What was it like?

Apparently. I mean, they offered it to me, so I thought I might as well try. It's probably better than my other option of sitting on the street corner hoping to get lucky.

Home lives. You know, how does this stack up? Weird? Not so weird?

If there's one thing this place doesn't care for, it's statistical improbabilities. You might be better off on the street corner with those chances.

Astronomically weird compared to home.

Really?

Were they human before they became a human pillar of fire?

You know, like dragons and epic quests to unseen realms. Fictional stuff.

But a machine wondering about life and existence is kind of magic, right?

Sort of. I mean, it's more than just programming.

[As if he knows that much about machines.]

That's okay. Honestly, that makes me feel better.

Nice to meet you, Zacharie.

[Wow, does that come off like a spirit's response. The direct, almost matter-of-fact pleasantries remind him of so many different demons he's met. It gives him a chill.

And of course he can't pull away from it.]

You're from a video game. Like a real cartridge and controllers, load and save video game?

Edited 2017-05-21 18:25 (UTC)

I think the technical term is metahuman.

[Surprisingly enough Zacharie's human through and through. He just so happens to also break the 4th wall with the grace of a rhino in a China tea shop.]

A computer game actually! It is called OFF, a fun game for cute children.

[Only not really. But hey, what can you do?]

Otherwise you are correct. It's quite an interesting shift in perspectives being in this world.

Well, I mean... was he a cute nerd?

At least I have a backup plan in case this coaching thing falls through?

What's your weirdest experience from home?

[There's a bit of a pause as Dodger decides exactly how to word it.]

When I was... Iunno, 21 or 22, I tripped massive balls on this shit called Saturn's Blood. Think like... LSD's ugly cousin. Spent seven years falling through different layers of hell, coming to understand all the different faces of the universe, the fact that we're all just made of the same stuff as stars, all that sort of shit. Finally hit the ground, watched my body melt off, saw this giant skull with ram horns and stars for eyes.

Then I woke up and found out I'd just been screaming bloody murder in an abandoned church for two hours.

[Dodger is a satanist, effectively a more cynical version of an athiest. So of course he brings stories like this to the table.]

[He has to smile at that.]

Is that a real word? What does that mean, exactly?

And if there's a technical term, does that mean a lot of people can be meta?

Always good to have your priorities in order.

Hm... weirdest? [ How much time you got, Christian? ] Hard to say. Nothing like what I've seen here. What's different between here and back home isn't really weird to me.

[As human as a video game character can be.]

Doesn't it bother you? To be, I dunno, just from a game?

Not particular. As the merchant I get paid for my services and help the player reach the end goal of the game. It all works out, one way or another.

[So no. He already knows how things shake out from the beginning so there's no point in being gloomy about it. May as well revel in the fun of it before it ends.]

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