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video; un: youradhere

Hi, guys.

[The man on the other end of the network smiles awkwardly. He's gearing up for a conversation, but drawing attention to himself is a new experience. The way he draws a breath and fidgets makes it obvious that he's still feeling out the network.]

So, this is definitely on the list of moments that make you think you might be dreaming. It sounds like we have people from just about everywhere here. Someone tell me this isn't the weirdest thing you've ever had happen to you. It'll make me feel better.

Before you got here, did any of you have strange things happen? You know, things out of fantasy movies or fever dreams for everyone else? What's the weirdest thing that you've ever seen?

[He laughs, mixing an exhale into it as he ducks his head.]

Sorry, I'm trying out the whole coaching thing. My name's Christian. Apparently I'm working with the Gramarye Magic Research people as a life coach, so if anyone wants to get a drink sometime and discuss tragic life choices, I have a really open schedule. I'd say we can do lunch too, but is that weird? I don't want to be weird.

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[There's a bit of a pause as Dodger decides exactly how to word it.]

When I was... Iunno, 21 or 22, I tripped massive balls on this shit called Saturn's Blood. Think like... LSD's ugly cousin. Spent seven years falling through different layers of hell, coming to understand all the different faces of the universe, the fact that we're all just made of the same stuff as stars, all that sort of shit. Finally hit the ground, watched my body melt off, saw this giant skull with ram horns and stars for eyes.

Then I woke up and found out I'd just been screaming bloody murder in an abandoned church for two hours.

[Dodger is a satanist, effectively a more cynical version of an athiest. So of course he brings stories like this to the table.]

[Christian would laugh, but the pause before Dodger responds is familiar. The story comes close to home too in a different way, and he still smiles, just with a gentler humor.]

You know, that's a story a lot of people tell back home. Someone goes to a party and gets really wasted or a couple friends get high under a bridge and they see things. A lot of the time bad things. Crazy ones.

Sometimes they just don't stop seeing.

Sounds like our worlds aren't too different from each other.

[Which makes him very curious... he still knows precious little about Christian, and he just knows that curiosity is gonna have him doing something reckless to find out. Sooner or later.]

You ever done something like that yourself?

[He smiles, a light flash of teeth that is demure and amused at the same time.]

I've never been that drunk.

[Which doesn't actually answer his question, but it's a general response that most people would take in his experience. He's giving the standard answer.]

Do you believe in what you saw?

[It's the answer Dodger was expecting, so he doesn't think much further than that.]

I don't think what I saw was real, if that's what you're asking. [He shrugs.] I had a lot of epiphanies, I guess those have some merit. But I've got no respect for people who put time and effort into believing in deities that won't affect their lives. It just creates something for them to blame when they fail based on their own shortcomings.

Well, that's harsh, isn't it? You can't really say that they don't affect their lives at all. Refusing to believe in anything is about as bad as blindly believing in the first thing you come across. They're extremes in different ways.

I think it's kind of impressive to build something from nothing.

Religious sheep aren't building anything. They're following someone smart enough to rope them in for his or her own benefit. [He's definitely being harsher than he needs to be.. but Dodger's been badly burned by religion and it's somewhat clear from the tone he takes.] One person markets a safe space for others to ignore their own responsibility for what happens to them, and the rest of them follow without contributing anything. It's a stain on humanity's potential.

[Calm down, Ayn Rand Jr.]

[There's a soft laugh out of Christian at that. He's familiar with the sentiment most people have about the unknown. Even religious people scoff at stories of ghosts and monsters, calling them silly superstitions. And Dodger isn't wrong about the people that take advantage of those who believe too easily. He holds back a smile.]

You know, some say humanity's potential depends on their ability to believe.

[Most people that Dodger's talked to like this get up in arms, or sheepish, but once again Christian defies expectation and leaves Dodger a little curious and bemused. This man is a puzzle to him.]

With that kind of attitude you're going to get yourself hurt. Survival depends on your ability to tell what's worth believing in. Ideals, sure - but gods are dangerous at best.

Besides, I'm talking to the guy who cried his eyes out playing with these fuckers. [He turns on his video feed and wiggles one of his jars of blue fireflies, just enough to not disturb the bugs.] I wouldn't call you the most stable role model.

[He laughs at Dodger's criticism, raising his eyebrows with a slight tilt of his head that is questioning and amused.]

How do you know what's worth believing in if you don't believe in things? Gods can be dangerous, but we should still try. They aren't all bad, you know.

[And Dodger's comment about him being a role model just sounds funny to him. He doesn't see himself as a role model either.]

I wouldn't be human if I didn't cry sometimes.

Because I have believed in things, and it almost got me killed. [He shrugs lazily.] After you get enough scars you get sick of putting your trust in shit that's bigger than you.

[The human comment actually makes him pause, and after a moment he flashes Christian a smirk that's one part flirtatious and one part condescending.]

I guess I'm not human, then, since I'm not a pussy.

But not all things are the same.

[ Just like following some spirits can lead to death while others might be friendly. Christian does agree that Dodger has a point. Believing in too much is deadly. But he's the kind of person that wants to preserve the magical realm as a whole, even with the risks. ]

Maybe you just need to find the right thing to believe in? One that won't turn out as so much of a disappointment.

Maybe you aren't. [ Christian smirks back, not offended by that. ] That would be all right.

[God, Christian puts Dodger off in the most infuriatingly attractive way. That response gets a quiet laugh out of him, and it almost sounds genuinely happy. Not the bitter chuckle he usually sticks to.]

Are you always this damn understanding?

Right now, I'm pretty sure I don't really understand anything. I'm just asking what you think because I'm hoping you'll be able to help me understand a little more.

[The laugh, though, gets a warm smile from him.]

But I do know that you don't have to be what other people think of as human to be a fun person to talk to.

[Dodger's brows raise a bit, and he lets out a snort of amusement.]

You spent a lot of time around mutants and demons, Christian?

[He honestly wouldn't be surprised if he takes the 'demon' thing literally.]

Are you saying you're a demon?

[Christian opts to dodge the question this time. He can't let the other man get every jab in without teasing back.]

You have to believe in them for that.

I'm saying I'm the closest thing my world's got to them.

[He's a near-untouchable, amoral, murderous psychopath with fire coursing through his bloodstream, so... pretty close?]

And I guess legally speaking I'm not a human being. So at least you got that much right.

You're human. Trust me.

[Because he knows a spirit when he sees one and Dodger isn't that. Whatever he is, he's still human.]

I get busy, that's all. It's complicated.

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