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[hellicious]

[It might be fitting that Lucifer's first foray into the network of the new world he'd found himself on was an inquiry for trying to fix something he'd mucked up. It might well give a good glimpse into the fact that Lucifer didn't see too much outside of what affected him and those he cared about. This fell under that umbrella.

For those watching, they'll see an adult male with a charming British accent and dark hair and eyes, smiling at the screen in an attempt to cover just how important the question was to him.]

What would be a good gift idea for someone that says something along the lines of 'Sorry I broke you'? I'm not entirely sure chocolates will cut it.

[A moment and then he realizes how that may be construed.]

Not physically broke, mind you. More... theologically and mentally.

Comments

[ragnarsson]

.....Really? The Christian one?

[That's not skepticism in his tone, just amazement. He's vaguely familiar with the concept of what he sees as Christian mythology, but not much more than one god in the sky, dead son who came back to life, and a place of eternal suffering ruled by some other god-thing under the earth.]

[hellicious]

Ah, yes. I keep forgetting that others in other realms have other deities that actually exist. Yes, that one. Lucifer Morningstar, ex Lord of Hell.

[ragnarsson]

Of course. If my gods are real in this place, it makes sense others would show up.

[They've already got three Norse gods here, a Greek demigod, and who knows what else here, so he's definitely not going to discount any other deities showing up.]

Though I did always think of you as a myth up until now.

[hellicious]

Well, I'm certainly dream-worthy, but I'm as real as real gets. And what gods do you worship, mm? You said Christian from an outside stance, so I'm assuming not those. Greek, maybe? Or Norse? They seem to be the most popular for those not into a monotheist religious scale.

[ragnarsson]

Norse. [But before Lucifer thinks he's a neopagan, he adds on a clarification.] I'm a Viking. [So one of the original worshippers, straight from the 800s.]

[hellicious]

Is that so? We've got loads of you down in Hell. Well, Vikings. Imagine the surprise when they realized they weren't going to some ale hall to drink with winged women.

[ragnarsson]

They must have done something to displease the gods to be judged unworthy to enter Valhalla or Fólkvangr.

[Or they were Christian converts, a disgrace to the Viking name in Ivar's eyes.]

[hellicious]

That, or Valhalla doesn't exist in my world. Alternate realities, lad. Not to say it doesn't exist at all, but I think I'd remember a plane with feasting and winged women that weren't my sisters.

[ragnarsson]

Makes me wonder where I'd go if I died here.

[He'd always assumed he'd go to Valhalla, but what if Valhalla didn't exist in this realm? That's a disconcerting thought.]

So is everything going to go to shit without you there to run it all?

[hellicious]

Only one way to find out, mm?

[Now that the lad mentioned it, he wondered the same thing himself. Could he even die here, if there wasn't a hell to go to? That led to tempting possibilities, and again, new and novel experiences. He did so love that.]

Hell's mostly self-sustaining, really. A few lost souls might find their way out, but it's hardly going to bring the realm down around everyone.

[ragnarsson]

I'm sure it will happen sooner rather than later.

[A bit morbid, but Ivar had never expected to have a long life. The fact he'd survived this long was a small miracle. Vikings in general had no fear of death. For them, the afterlife was a reward for fighting to please their gods.]

So is it really what the Christians think it is? All fire and brimstone?

[hellicious]

Some brimstone, yes, but not so much the fire. Not anymore, at least. Loads of ash. Gets everywhere.

[He looked a little annoyed about that fact. Bloody ash.]

No lakes of fire. Not unless that's in someone's personal Hell. I don't control those. Catholics and Christians like to talk a good game, but rarely has there been a soul that's visited that has the right of it to tell anyone else. It's all about perspective, you see.

[ragnarsson]

Makes me wonder why anyone follows that religion. If I had a fifty-fifty chance of ending up in a place of eternal suffering, I'd be hard-pressed to be good all the time.

[Of course, Ivar's a teenage psychopath whose killed enough people to be labeled a serial killer by modern terms. So attempting to behave when he didn't have a conscience was doomed to failure from the start.]

[hellicious]

Ah, but there's the rub of it. Not sure how it works anywhere else, but whether you follow it or not, you're going to one or the other. There are no other gods in my world. I hear there are here. Met a few. Interesting types and I'd love to learn more. But that's their realm, and in mine...

Well. Sorry, boy, but we've plenty of Vikings in Hell who were very surprised not to be in Valhalla.

[ragnarsson]

Just makes me glad I was born in my own world and not your own. I've already broken just about every rule that Christians have.

[Thou shall not kill was a big one, but there was a couple others he'd barreled through at astounding speed. Ivar was a very good Viking, but not a very good person in general.]

[hellicious]

The book got a lot of it wrong. It's more intent.

[There were plenty of people who'd killed others up in the Silver City. They maybe were there because they felt remorse and hadn't enjoyed it as much as a Viking would.]

[ragnarsson]

Then I'd still be screwed. I like killing and even I know that's one of the main things they teach is wrong.

[Vikings in general enjoyed raiding and carnage, but Ivar took it to a whole other level. It actually made him happy, and to some extent, he got off on it. Sex and violence were inextricably linked in his mind.]

[hellicious]

Oh, you should have seen the Aztecs. Christians have no right to point fingers. They've slaughtered with the best of them. Every religion, every ethnic background has sacrifice. To appease their gods. For better weather. Because that's just the way it's been for so many years. They may have changed and call it war now, but it's still the sacrifice of a life for a cause. I've always said it just proves they aren't as removed from animals as Dad would like to claim, but that doesn't sit well with my siblings.

[ragnarsson]

If it didn't keep working, people wouldn't keep doing it. At least that's how it happens in my world. Sacrifice big enough and the gods will reward you with something you badly want.

[Hence why the Vikings were all about the human sacrifice and just fighting in general to please their gods.]

[hellicious]

Or, funnily enough, it could all be a placebo effect, mm? Kill a few people, get high on the rush, go off and win a bloody war. It's not like your gods step down from their pedestal to crush them under massive booted foot themselves, is it?

...

Or is it?

[ragnarsson]

If I needed the gods to kill my enemies for me, I wouldn't be much of a Viking. No, they only come for important occasions. When my father died, Odin himself came to tell my brothers and I.

[hellicious]

... Your so called gods come to be messenger boys of death, but you have to do all the heavy lifting? Doesn't sound like something to be worshiped, if you ask me. I'd say humans, all breeds, do well enough on their own. Divine intervention on any scope isn't necessary. Or required.

[ragnarsson]

The gods help those who are able to help themselves. You won't persuade me to stop worshiping. Especially not when there's a handful of them right here in the city.

[Some called them aliens, but Ivar knew better. For once, he wasn't the one speaking out of ignorance. Norse religion was much more complicated than that.]

[hellicious]

That or... well. You and the rest of your lot have all fallen victim to the biggest scam imaginable. But, trying to convince someone that religion is pointless when they've decided it isn't is equally pointless.

[ragnarsson]

So you claim your god is real but the rest are fictional? Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

[But he is enjoying this debate quite a bit.]