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Video | username: fall3n1

[It might be fitting that Lucifer's first foray into the network of the new world he'd found himself on was an inquiry for trying to fix something he'd mucked up. It might well give a good glimpse into the fact that Lucifer didn't see too much outside of what affected him and those he cared about. This fell under that umbrella.

For those watching, they'll see an adult male with a charming British accent and dark hair and eyes, smiling at the screen in an attempt to cover just how important the question was to him.]

What would be a good gift idea for someone that says something along the lines of 'Sorry I broke you'? I'm not entirely sure chocolates will cut it.

[A moment and then he realizes how that may be construed.]

Not physically broke, mind you. More... theologically and mentally.

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I'm hardly going to just walk up and stuff it down her pants.

[A scoff and a roll of his eyes. Honestly, Christian. It was like you had no faith in him and his ability to woo.]

Oh, so she's a she. Yeah, then, definitely good idea. Don't do that.

[He knew spirits tended to miss or ignore human concerns enough to do outrageous things sometimes, so he wouldn't have been surprised if the pie came with a proposition. But, then, he wasn't great with relationships in general. It was probably more telling of him than Lucifer.]

[Whoops. He'd been trying to keep that secret. Well... too late.]

I wouldn't. She'd knock me upside the head if I even tried it. Or shoot me again.

[And yet, he looked actually smitten at the notion of either possibly painful outcome happening.]

[The Devil has a girlfriend. Who knew? And Christian honestly finds that surprisingly charming.]

That's really not a good way to get a date, you know. I mean, getting shot is attention, yeah, but it's not the kind of attention that leads to dates. Usually.

[Maybe in Hell or something. He won't judge.]

Chocolate and a compliment. A sincere one that she probably thinks you overlook. It sounds like you're... coming out a bit fast and you know when you show humans too many things at once they kind of freak out and miss the point?

If there's one thing I don't need help on, it's getting a date. The Devil does well in that area, thank you.

[But then, the Devil had never really cared much deeper about his dates other than what he could do to them naked. Ch-ch-ch-changes.]

That... yes. Well. My therapist got over it and this... individual is much more competent than her in various ways.

Well, this is more than just a date, right? And, anyway, it's not about dating her, it's just- the point is you don't want to jump in too fast with things.

[ His response was a little nervous, because dating was not his strong suit in any world. ]

You have a therapist?

[Hear that, Christian? That was the snort heard from around the world.]

Yes, well, I don't think 'fast' is quiet the word I'd use in this case.

[Honestly. If his balls got any bluer, he could paint googly eyes on them and pretend he was the Cookie Monster.

... That made him giggle.]

Of course. They're rather helpful to bounce things off and get it all out into the open.

I actually didn't mean it that way.

[Wow, who knew the Devil was such a sexual type? He probably shouldn't have been surprised by that, but somehow it just seemed strange to him.]

I meant just... you know. Letting your friend know how things are. That's hard for humans to take.

[Very hard. Especially if they were introduced to the ideas wrong.]

I've never thought of the Devil as needing a therapist to bounce thing off of.

[Come on, Christian. Look at him. He was sexy personified. Rude.]

That I'm well aware of. Even without them being as resilient and resourceful as this particular one, there's a reason people believe in things based on faith and not fact.

[... Christian. Stop thinking dirty things.]

I was becoming a new me. I needed someone to help me muddle through a few things and my doctor was rather good with that. More so after her own proof and she could stop thinking in metaphors.

[He was very charming, but Christian still wondered at the idea of the Devil being so cavalier about his sexuality. It was an image he'd assumed was just human projection. Humans liked to think of their monsters in terms they could relate to. Sexual prowess was one of those things. And if he felt any attraction, that was all the more reason to think that Lucifer didn't notice or view it in a human way.]

That's why you're asking about bribery pies over the network, right? Because you've got it all figured out.

[He smirked just a little.]

That's what they do, though. Metaphors, I mean. Everything is a metaphor and not really happening. You're not real. Just crazy.

[Clearly Christian needed to meet him in person to get the full effect. Then it might make sense. The human projections were usually less savory than just being desirable. The bloody goat thing. Sacrificing children. Evil. That wasn't him. That was humans, for the most part, excusing their behavior. Good things were done in Dad's name. Bad things, because Lucifer made them. Funny, that, considering humans had Free Will and all.]

That's completely different.

[Huff.]

Fair enough. It's not like I haven't seen a million people saying they were Jesus or the Anti-Christ or some nonsense. My favorite was the idiot who said he was the embodiment of the burning bush. That was a fun show.

[It was a good thing he didn't meet Lucifer in person. He was already uneasy about that over the network. His natural withdrawal from intimacy was kicking in without even getting close to him. At least humor is safe.]

Uh-huh. Different. Sure.

[And he always had distance to run if he had to.]

You're really okay with people saying things like that? Saying they don't believe?

You're a strange Devil. [There was a chuckle as he said that.] It's kind of nice.

[Don't worry, Christian. Lucifer's attentions were elsewhere. But he wouldn't mind being ogled. He was the prettiest peacock, after all.]

Why should they believe? You've got people in the new age that truly and honestly believe the world is flat. With proof saying otherwise. Why should they believe in a Father that abandoned them thousands of years ago and hasn't said boo. He demands Free Will, yet gets all angry if anyone expresses it. If people don't want to believe in Him or me, I'm hardly going to force them. Dad might not respect His own edicts and what He gave His favorite pets, but I do.

[A smile then, because well, he certainly preferred to be called something nice than pure evil incarnate.]

Why, thank you. You're not entirely unpleasant yourself. For a human.

[At least Lucifer seemed nicer so far than a lot of spirits he ran into. He hadn't jumped to wanting to eat him yet, which was what Christian was used to dealing with. He was still intimidated by the man that claimed to be the actual Devil, but the network created a buffer of safety.]

That's probably the best compliment I've gotten in a long time. This is the first time I've talked to someone with... you know. Like you. Spirit celebrity, kind of.

[Because named spirits weren't supposed to exist.]

Spirit celebrity?

[He laughed at that, a long little chuckle as he eyed Christian over the net.]

I'm hardly a spirit, dear boy. Father was the one doing the whole Holy Ghost bit. I'm just a fallen angel with better taste than most.

[Christian's look was a cross between awkward, almost shyness, and bright curiosity he was trying to keep under control.]

Aren't angels just another name for spirits? Like demons? Angels are the human name for spirits they like and demons are ones they fear?

... No? Well, I can't say that definitively as it might well be true in other worlds. But no, angels are... angels. Demons are fun -- admittedly I'm biased there. Spookies and ghosts have their own little names. Spirits are more... well. Ghost like, yes? Hence the Holiest of ones belonging to Pops.

Spirits aren't the same as ghosts. Well, most of the time. Sometimes there are ghosts, but not all spirits are- anyway, I've never met an angel and you're my first, uh, Devil? You look normal. Is that what everyone looks like in your world?

For the most part, though no one looks quite as good as I do.

<small[Yes, Christian, the Devil was a vain peacock.]

[ Well, that at least wasn't a surprise. Ego did seem to come as part and parcel with all creatures of power. Human or otherwise. ]

So are you the best looking angel there is?

Angel and Devil, yes. Not that my siblings aren't... well. Let's just say there's an ew factor to talking about how attractive or bonable my brothers and sisters are.

[Okay, he has to fight a grin at that one. The Devil is definitely full of himself, but that's a sort of charm.]

Is that by human standards or your personal opinion?

Both, I suppose. The Detective could tell you well enough that she all but swooned for my brother when she met him, as did my therapist. Tall, dark, and somewhat dumb. A bit too subservient for my liking, but that's why I was booted and he wasn't, mm? We're angels. We're supposed to be gorgeous.

I just got all the better bits.

Better, hm?

[ Okay, that confidence is actually nice. He wishes he had it -- and he can see why the Devil apparently has some amazing girlfriend too. Or not-girlfriend? ]

So all angels are really that good? I thought that was just some bragging that made it through to our side.

[ He's teasing just a bit. ]

I mean, it's not like us humans would be able to prove you wrong.

Define 'good'. Most of my siblings don't fall from Grace enough to dabble with fun time with humans. A few have, of course, so we have the Nephilim, but for the most part, I'd assume that a virgin angel would be just as fumbling as a human one. At least humans masturbate.

[Did you ask for frankness, Christian? Because that's what you were getting. Unfiltered frankness.]

Video | username: fall3n1

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... goddamn you, html. >|

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