audio ☂ un:liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Good morning Riverview. America's favourite wizard is here with an announcement.

America's favourite wizard is also doing his first audio only post, because he looks like shit and he's out of spell slots to cast Disguise Self.]

So, uh, what's up, my dudes? I'm gonna cut to the chase here, cause most of you aren't complete idiots and have probably noticed that some weird shit is happening and that weird shit, while not my fault, is thanks to some fucko in my world messing with magical items, so now we're dealing with the consequences.

[That fucko is Magnus, who he's throwing under the bus on this, although not by name at least.

There's a very audible sigh from Taako's end of things.]

Here's the skinny: an item with control over time has gotten its shit messed up in the portal, and that's why people are suddenly like, babies or whatever, and the folks here don't really, uh, well they don't know how to fix it. They don't know enough about the chalice, and I don't know enough about the portal, so... so we're asking for help. I'd put money on arcane knowledge getting us the furthest, but at this point I'm willing to take input from anyone who knows their science shit, too, as long as you're not gonna try to tell me that magic doesn't exist. I can guaran-fucking-tee that I'm not in the mood.

[Someone hasn't slept in two days because he's been trying to figure this out, worried about both the chalice itself and the potential that a part of the light existing in this universe could lead the Hunger to it.]

The big thing is that it needs to go back, we bring that shit all the way in here and it's gonna break pretty bad for a lot of people and this stupid cup has given me enough grief that I'm super ready to never see it again in my entire life. Anyone who wants to help should get in touch with the dudes running the portal, but if you got questions I can field 'em. Heads up, you'll get better answers if you promise me coffee.

[He's doing his Good Deed of the week, he could at least get some caffeine out of it.]

Comments

@dodger/video

[undeflective]

Are we going to be... safe, when this is fixed? Those of us that have been affected, I mean.

[Enjoy seeing Dodger with no scars and a sweatervest, Taako. He might never live this down.]

[ text | un: jkent ]

[supersweet]

Is that why there are so many new kids around?

perma audio on this end

[spellslots]

[Hey, what the fuck???

There's a lengthy pause as Taako realizes what he's seeing and has to adjust to it. But he's adaptable if nothing else.]

I can't make any promises, time related magic isn't my wheelhouse and the portal makes a mess of what I do know, but you should just go back to wherever the hell you came from.

[He has literally no idea if that's true, but what's a few lies to make people feel better.]

permatext

[spellslots]

That'd be why, especially if they're people who were already here as adults. They haven't like, de-aged or anything, they're from a different time.

[supersweet]

Aww. I was hoping for more people my age.

[spellslots]

Sorry, pumpkin, I'd offer to leave 'em like they are, but I dunno how badly this is screwing up the portal and we kinda need it to get home.

text; @angela

[hevenly]

is this wh yi have obly 1 arm/

[ Typing is hard for Angela under the best of circumstances. Try doing it with just her left hand. Spoilers: she's not left handed. ]

[supersweet]

Yeah. I get it.

How can I help? I can keep an eye on people if you want.

permatext

[spellslots]

First things first: the device has a voice to text function if you wanna use that.

But I'm gonna go with yes, unless you lost it here. Did you go walkabout outside the barrier and it got eaten?

permatext

[hevenly]

how

[ How does she use the voice to text feature? Full sentences are difficult. ]

i went outside bit no harm came yo me there. this injury is ils

old

[spellslots]

[Jon is a smart kid, but Taako has a feeling understanding the portal and a magical artifact is beyond him, but giving him something to do isn't a terrible idea.]

A lotta folks might be confused to find themselves here, especially since they'll be skipping the super exciting introduction film. Someone keeping an eye out for anyone kicking up a fuss would be much appreciated.

[However Jon wants to do that; Taako will leave it vague because... powers.]

[ private text ]

[supersweet]

I'll do my best.

[ After a moment though, Jon locks his next text. ]

Could you keep an eye on my dad for me?

[spellslots]

[Please hold while he sends her a youtube tutorial, it's probably very informative.]

Cool, so, uh, what's probably happened is the you that was here before made a different choice somewhere down the line. The chalice can erase or change the past, usually only for the wielder, but since technically the portal is wielding it, shit is messy.

[ private text ]

[spellslots]

Did he get messed up too, or is this cause of Lois?

[He's not very good at tact.

But he kind of figured Lois being gone wouldn't upset Jon as much as it did Clark, since Lois was never his real mom, just a version of her.]

Re: [ private text ]

[supersweet]

No, I think he's okay. But mom and cousin Kara left.

[hevenly]

[ The reply comes some minutes later, after Angela watches the tutorial video and clumsily changes her settings to voice to text. ]

It is odd. I can see the point where our lives diverged. I remember being here, as her, but I am different. Changed. Alone.

[spellslots]

Aw, dunk, Kara too?

[He almost goes to cast locate person, to check, then remembers he's out of spell slots. Fuck his life he really needs a nap.]

He seemed to be doing okay last time we chatted, but I'll for sure keep an eye on him.

[supersweet]

Thanks Taako.

[spellslots]

[Note-taking isn't exactly his favourite thing to do, but he's making a note of all this to pass it on.]

That kinda fits with what I've seen of the chalice. Things should go back to the way they were once this is all sorted

[spellslots]

Don't mention it, bubbale. You know how to find me if you need anything, or if you hear something exciting I oughta know about.

[undeflective]

Oh. Umm... I guess that's better than... other possibilities I'd considered.

[He pauses a moment before steeling himself.]

Your name is Taako, right? I need to talk to you about something. I'm not sure if it should be a private conversation, it's really up to you, but it mostly involves the um... the party that I crashed.

private

[spellslots]

That's me.

[This is not even remotely what he expected, but it's pretty clear that this guy isn't the same as Dodger; whatever difference the chalice has latched onto, it's caused a pretty dramatic shift.

So... he'll listen, but he changes the conversation to private, first.]

Say what you wanna say.

[Whether it's going to be an apology or "please don't tell people that other-me is a complete dickhead", he can at least hear not-Dodger out.]

private forever

[undeflective]

[Dramatic indeed - on top of the sweatervests and clear, young complexion, this Dodger has a British accent and wears all of his nervous tension on his sleeve. If nothing else, it's very clear that he's sincere.]

I just wanted to apologize for- everything. I- that version of me- he did a lot of things I'd consider unforgivable, for the sake of keeping his mind off of his own misery. I'm sure it was obvious to everyone that spoke to him. If this is fixed he likely won't learn anything from inhabiting the same place in spacetime as me, but - I'm making rounds trying to make a better impression, while I'm here.

So... fresh start. My name is Officer Jamison Kingsley, I worked in the Boston Police Department. And... unlike my counterpart, I am under no illusion that I can get you in bed. So at least we have that.

[spellslots]

[Okay so he wasn't far off on his guess, this is something he can handle.]

Listen, there's no point in you apologizing for stuff he did, and honestly, I don't give enough of a shit to need it, anyway. Someone being a dick isn't like, problem number one for Taako, you know?

[If Dodger had actually done something, things might be different, but it was just words.]

What I will say is that making a good impression could backfire pretty bad once we fix this, if people start thinking there's a decent guy under all Dodger's shit that they can get out. And maybe there is, again, I don't care, but other people are nicer than me, and a hell of a lot easier to take advantage of.

[What he means is this: if Jamie gives people the idea that they might be able to get something nice out of Dodger, that's going to go badly for them.]

[undeflective]

I suppose that's fair...

[He hadn't thought of that at all, honestly. He'd been too worried about being helpful to worry about what Dodger could do with people who had opened up to him.]

I'm not sure myself if there's a good man underneath, or... if it would be possible to reach him, if there is. And... I suppose anything I learn about others could be used against them once he returns. [He pauses.] I suppose that would make it unsafe for us to be friends, but I can give you a word of advice - he will try to do something to your boyfriend. He's afraid of what he knows, and if he can't blackmail him he'll try to torture him. I don't want that to happen to an innocent witness.