audio ☂ un:liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Good morning Riverview. America's favourite wizard is here with an announcement.

America's favourite wizard is also doing his first audio only post, because he looks like shit and he's out of spell slots to cast Disguise Self.]

So, uh, what's up, my dudes? I'm gonna cut to the chase here, cause most of you aren't complete idiots and have probably noticed that some weird shit is happening and that weird shit, while not my fault, is thanks to some fucko in my world messing with magical items, so now we're dealing with the consequences.

[That fucko is Magnus, who he's throwing under the bus on this, although not by name at least.

There's a very audible sigh from Taako's end of things.]

Here's the skinny: an item with control over time has gotten its shit messed up in the portal, and that's why people are suddenly like, babies or whatever, and the folks here don't really, uh, well they don't know how to fix it. They don't know enough about the chalice, and I don't know enough about the portal, so... so we're asking for help. I'd put money on arcane knowledge getting us the furthest, but at this point I'm willing to take input from anyone who knows their science shit, too, as long as you're not gonna try to tell me that magic doesn't exist. I can guaran-fucking-tee that I'm not in the mood.

[Someone hasn't slept in two days because he's been trying to figure this out, worried about both the chalice itself and the potential that a part of the light existing in this universe could lead the Hunger to it.]

The big thing is that it needs to go back, we bring that shit all the way in here and it's gonna break pretty bad for a lot of people and this stupid cup has given me enough grief that I'm super ready to never see it again in my entire life. Anyone who wants to help should get in touch with the dudes running the portal, but if you got questions I can field 'em. Heads up, you'll get better answers if you promise me coffee.

[He's doing his Good Deed of the week, he could at least get some caffeine out of it.]

Comments

@dodger/video

[undeflective]

Are we going to be... safe, when this is fixed? Those of us that have been affected, I mean.

[Enjoy seeing Dodger with no scars and a sweatervest, Taako. He might never live this down.]

perma audio on this end

[spellslots]

[Hey, what the fuck???

There's a lengthy pause as Taako realizes what he's seeing and has to adjust to it. But he's adaptable if nothing else.]

I can't make any promises, time related magic isn't my wheelhouse and the portal makes a mess of what I do know, but you should just go back to wherever the hell you came from.

[He has literally no idea if that's true, but what's a few lies to make people feel better.]

[ text | un: jkent ]

[supersweet]

Is that why there are so many new kids around?

permatext

[spellslots]

That'd be why, especially if they're people who were already here as adults. They haven't like, de-aged or anything, they're from a different time.

text; @angela

[hevenly]

is this wh yi have obly 1 arm/

[ Typing is hard for Angela under the best of circumstances. Try doing it with just her left hand. Spoilers: she's not left handed. ]

permatext

[spellslots]

First things first: the device has a voice to text function if you wanna use that.

But I'm gonna go with yes, unless you lost it here. Did you go walkabout outside the barrier and it got eaten?

Audio [private] | un:tiera.erde

[manmade]

[Since Tieria is a new arrival, he hasn't directly observed any "weird shit" happening; as far as he knows, those affected have always been like that. But he's not deaf to the rumors and worried conversations happening around him, nor has he missed the tense atmosphere that's been around for the past few days, so Taako's claim isn't without merit. Still, he's hesitant to believe something this ridiculous.]

If what you say is true, I have a possible theory, though I don't know anything about magic. I can confirm that the portal also appears to have some control over time, so is it possible that the issue is being caused by the two objects interfering with each other's time-based properties?

perma that

[spellslots]

I dunno if the portal has control over anything, but I mean, yeah? That chalice on it's own shouldn't have done this, the portal on it's own shouldn't have, so whatever interaction they're having is causing a huge mess.

Voice; @the.boneless

[ragnarsson]

This explains a lot.

[Namely the fact that he feels happier than he's been since like....ever. His memories of how things should be are rather fuzzy at the moment, but he gets the distinct feeling he was hurting mentally for some reason and was a lot more angry. Both of those feelings have eased up, replaced by something that has left him feeling a lot more centered and balanced.]

permavoice

[spellslots]

You're welcome.

[For solving the mystery, he doesn't know about Ivar being happy.]

@the.doctor | video

[axefight]

Oh, so this is your doing? [ he sounds pretty grumpy, himself. he lets out a LONG-SUFFERING SIGH, rubbing the bridge of his nose. ]

What is this item, exactly? What is it actually for?

still voice forever and ever

[spellslots]

Listen, I was not responsible for the chalice. I made a perfectly good transmuter's stone and it's not my fault the portal decided to bring the cup through instead.

[Everyone else: I'm gonna use this fancy object to house my segment of the light
Taako: I brought this rock]

We call it the temporal chalice and it, well... whoever's in possession of it can control time, slow it down, speed it up, stop it. Or go back and change something, rewrite history to fix a mistake or bring someone back or go down whatever different path they're offered. [He hesitates for a moment, aware of how public this is and how much he's sharing that Lucretia will inevitably know about, but they really need to fix this.] It was, uh, it wasn't supposed to be like that. We didn't realize how powerful it would be. Cause the real issue is that it really, really wants someone to use it. That's why it can't come through.

audio » @LOKIOFASGARD

[lieborn]

Fix your mistake swiftly with your patch-up brigade, mage. Chop, chop!

[ Someone is thirteen again and so unhappy about his noodle arms and unbroken voice. What a terrible day. Worst ever in recent months, maybe! ]

perma audio

[spellslots]

[small........]

We're going as fast as we can, little man.

@cjk [ locked text ]

[signifies]

Still want that coffee?

locked text

[spellslots]

My dude I will fucking propose if you bring me coffee.

[Not even flirting he would just be that grateful.]

audio; user: katsuki

[yokunaru]

Thank you for telling us about this. [It doesn't help his stress any, but at least they actually know what's going on now.]

I'd like to ask you some questions about the chalice... um, you said something about needing coffee?

perma audio

[spellslots]

I've been refueled for now, thank the gods, but I take IOUs.

[He will collect it at some nebulous point in the future. Be prepared.]

Ask your questions, my dude.

video; un: feywild

[imperceptus]

[ Rin wonders what kind of plat stacks he could get for a time-warping cup. Probably a lot. Too bad any buyers he'd care for don't exist in this interstitial town.

He taps his chin, sighing. ]

Magical items. Almost more trouble than they're worth.

still audio

[spellslots]

[Especially now there's a handsome drow involved :< Why does he look shitty today]

No almost about it, like ninety percent of my magic shit is well behaved. It's just this one that wants to fuck everything up.

video | un: GraveMistake

[hellshot]

That explains a goddamn thing or two.

Here I thought everyone else was going off their fucking heads, but it turns out the confusion my fault. Or should I say, this item's fault.

[Remember your run-in with 'Death' a while back? He's looking less... dead today.]

So this thing is set to wear off, then.

audio (medic (no))

[spellslots]

[He looks super less dead. Good for you, Gabe.]

I dunno if wear off is the right way to put it. [He has two theories about how this is working: either the chalice is reaching into an alternate universe and plucking the person from that timeline, temporarily, which means they'll go back when they're done.

Or, and this is the less fun option, these alternate people are... made up by the chalice, and will just cease to exist once it's fixed. Considering quite a few people seem better off in their new timelines, he's a little reluctant to verbalize the second theory.] There's like, a thousand arguments to be made about whether the way shit was is the right way, but removing the chalice will make everything normal again, for whatever given value of normal you wanna attribute to this place.

video; un: bluebird

[exfine]

[ Tsumugi has this very worried look on his face, and he even looks like he hasn't slept for days due to extensive research. But in spite of that, he lets out a soft sigh of relief. ]

Oh, so that explains everything! I thought I had to scour the entire library just for the cure.

My friend is greatly affected by it, and is a lot more frail as a result because of a medical condition he's had his entire life. I hope this gets resolved soon because I don't know if he can make it.

perma audio

[spellslots]

Uh.... [what] Is your friend like, in the hospital? They've gone to the hospital, right?

video | @the.young

[leadintheyoung]

[ Now there's a voice Líadan recognizes. The lack of a face to go with it is a bit disappointing, but considering the circumstances and how tired Taako sounds, that's more than a bit forgivable. She shifts a bit atop the rock she's taken to perching upon, inclining her head. ]

Taako. [ A pause. ] I do not know what coffee is, but if it would help, you shall have it and as much of it as you'd like.

[ She almost, almost pauses, but she's barreling right through as per usual even as she ponders what questions to ask. ]

I'm sure you've been asked plenty by now, but what can you tell me about the chalice?

private, video

[spellslots]

[Actually: hi Líadan.

She's the first person to use video that he actually knows and likes (Clark and Jon both stuck to text), so he's willing to switch to match her. This is the first time she's seen his face without the magic he usually wears to cover up the beauty he lost in Wonderland, but the screens are small enough that he's hoping it'll be passed off as exhaustion.]

Long story short, there's this thing called the light of creation, that we think the gods used to make the universes, unfortunately some asshole has been trying to get his hands on it to like, destroy those universes. ["Consume" is more accurate than "destroy" but it's also more complicated to explain.] We tried to hide it from him by breaking it into seven pieces, one of which is the chalice but we didn't...

[There's a hesitation here and Taako sighs before continuing.]

We didn't expect it to go as badly as it did. The items we made were sentient, kinda, and they were so desperate to be used that anyone who got close would be pulled under their thrall. The chalice has power over temporal magic, it can stop, slow, speed up, or alter time, all at the behest of whoever the fuck has their hands on it. When a person is wielding it, that's bad fucking news, but now the portal's got it and no one really knows how to fix it. This thing can't be destroyed, and I sure as hell don't want it on this side of the portal, so we're trying to send it back.

audio; un: R.Peril

[nikolaievich]

So it can be fixed? People will be back to normal?

[Even with only the voice feed to go by, Illya still sounds pretty... tense. This is not Taako's fault, he just happened to be involved with the object that's causing all of this and he's doing his best to seek for help and fix it. So Illya doesn't sound angry at all, just... frustrated that this is beyond his understanding.

At least he seems to be unaffected.]

permaaaa

[spellslots]

Totally. [a beat] Probably?

[That's not reassuring, Taako.]

We're all fucked if we can't, so hopefully everyone will pull together and find some kinda solution.

audio, @chronicler

[scholiast]

(Lucretia replies dutifully, but on audio, because she literally cannot face Taako right now. This whole situation is incredibly wearisome. She's been processing her abrupt jump into the future for two days now and everything is still pretty delicate. But she can at least lend a hand with the chalice?

How is she supposed to just respond to his video like nothing is wrong? He'll be able to hear the difference in her voice, but either way she should weigh in on this.)

I can promise coffee, Taako. In fact, I'd like to... come talk about this, if you don't mind.

wink wonk

[spellslots]

[Oh, fuck.

That's about the extent of how far his thoughts can wrap around this particular, unfortunate development. He'd considered it, that Lucretia might be effected by the chalice, but hoped that their closeness with the light would render them both immune, somehow. So far he's gotten lucky on that front, but she hasn't, and that's, well, that's also real fucking unlucky for him.]

Shit.

[That also about sums it up.

He tries to think of something else to say, and falls spectacularly short, so... that's it, that's all he manages.]

audio | un: v.nikiforov

[enticeing]

Is it considered helping if you can offer to keep things documented by camera?

( Because he's kind of not running with a full set of anything helpful to... all this. Arcane. Magic. Stuff? Skating to music composed for faeries does not actually, for some reason, mean he knows anything about magic or what's related. The fuzzy memories he has of other times and places aren't a help either.

Alas. He wonders if he has any more rounded skillset when he's the age he's supposed to be.

... Probably not. )

I'm sorry it sounds like it's been running you into he ground being uncooperative.

perma audio!

[spellslots]

I can't imagine it'd hurt?

[The thought hadn't really occurred to him, since it doesn't seem that important in actually solving the issue, but if someone wants to record the process for posterity or whatever, he's not going to stop them.]

And it's cool, I can handle my shit.

[He totally fine, this is all just super great.]