spellslots: DNT (every day is a chore chore chore)
Taako ([personal profile] spellslots) wrote in [community profile] riverview2017-06-13 09:40 am

audio ☂ un:liches.get.stitches

[Good morning Riverview. America's favourite wizard is here with an announcement.

America's favourite wizard is also doing his first audio only post, because he looks like shit and he's out of spell slots to cast Disguise Self.]


So, uh, what's up, my dudes? I'm gonna cut to the chase here, cause most of you aren't complete idiots and have probably noticed that some weird shit is happening and that weird shit, while not my fault, is thanks to some fucko in my world messing with magical items, so now we're dealing with the consequences.

[That fucko is Magnus, who he's throwing under the bus on this, although not by name at least.

There's a very audible sigh from Taako's end of things.]


Here's the skinny: an item with control over time has gotten its shit messed up in the portal, and that's why people are suddenly like, babies or whatever, and the folks here don't really, uh, well they don't know how to fix it. They don't know enough about the chalice, and I don't know enough about the portal, so... so we're asking for help. I'd put money on arcane knowledge getting us the furthest, but at this point I'm willing to take input from anyone who knows their science shit, too, as long as you're not gonna try to tell me that magic doesn't exist. I can guaran-fucking-tee that I'm not in the mood.

[Someone hasn't slept in two days because he's been trying to figure this out, worried about both the chalice itself and the potential that a part of the light existing in this universe could lead the Hunger to it.]

The big thing is that it needs to go back, we bring that shit all the way in here and it's gonna break pretty bad for a lot of people and this stupid cup has given me enough grief that I'm super ready to never see it again in my entire life. Anyone who wants to help should get in touch with the dudes running the portal, but if you got questions I can field 'em. Heads up, you'll get better answers if you promise me coffee.

[He's doing his Good Deed of the week, he could at least get some caffeine out of it.]
nikolaievich: (078)

[personal profile] nikolaievich 2017-06-27 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[There’s… a long pause on Illya’s end because he wasn’t expecting that. He’s used to compliments on his skills as a spy, on his physical abilities and the like but it’s not often he hears himself being called a calming presence.]

...Thank you. [It almost sounds like a question.] But that is not what I mean. You’re just very energetic and fun. Kids like that, do they not?
nikolaievich: (19)

[personal profile] nikolaievich 2017-06-30 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Pumpkin. Is that better or worse than Red Peril...? Somehow it’s kind of hard for him to decide. At least when Solo called him Peril he knew it was also some sort of backhanded compliment.]

Good, because I was not trying to be sweet. What I said is truth. But now I’m wondering if that nickname is going to stick.
nikolaievich: (082)

[personal profile] nikolaievich 2017-07-03 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not picky, just surprised. The nicknames I usually get are a little less cutesy like that. My last coworker called me the Red Peril.
nikolaievich: (Default)

[personal profile] nikolaievich 2017-07-04 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[He can imagine the wink really easily, which worries him a little.]

Red, because I'm Russian. Peril because I'm dangerous. Not particularly clever but he seemed quite proud of it.
nikolaievich: (30)

[personal profile] nikolaievich 2017-07-05 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes, but this one was American. [Like that's gonna explain anything at all to Taako. Illya needs to chill a little bit.]

I should probably stop distracting you, yes? You must be busy.
nikolaievich: (047)

[personal profile] nikolaievich 2017-07-06 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
If you ‘gotta have it’ shouldn’t you not be avoiding it?

[He’s just saying, though he’s no stranger to skipping the hell out of the rules when it’s convenient to him he’ll still nag other people about them.]