audio ☂ un:liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Good morning Riverview. America's favourite wizard is here with an announcement.

America's favourite wizard is also doing his first audio only post, because he looks like shit and he's out of spell slots to cast Disguise Self.]

So, uh, what's up, my dudes? I'm gonna cut to the chase here, cause most of you aren't complete idiots and have probably noticed that some weird shit is happening and that weird shit, while not my fault, is thanks to some fucko in my world messing with magical items, so now we're dealing with the consequences.

[That fucko is Magnus, who he's throwing under the bus on this, although not by name at least.

There's a very audible sigh from Taako's end of things.]

Here's the skinny: an item with control over time has gotten its shit messed up in the portal, and that's why people are suddenly like, babies or whatever, and the folks here don't really, uh, well they don't know how to fix it. They don't know enough about the chalice, and I don't know enough about the portal, so... so we're asking for help. I'd put money on arcane knowledge getting us the furthest, but at this point I'm willing to take input from anyone who knows their science shit, too, as long as you're not gonna try to tell me that magic doesn't exist. I can guaran-fucking-tee that I'm not in the mood.

[Someone hasn't slept in two days because he's been trying to figure this out, worried about both the chalice itself and the potential that a part of the light existing in this universe could lead the Hunger to it.]

The big thing is that it needs to go back, we bring that shit all the way in here and it's gonna break pretty bad for a lot of people and this stupid cup has given me enough grief that I'm super ready to never see it again in my entire life. Anyone who wants to help should get in touch with the dudes running the portal, but if you got questions I can field 'em. Heads up, you'll get better answers if you promise me coffee.

[He's doing his Good Deed of the week, he could at least get some caffeine out of it.]

Comments

audio | un: v.nikiforov

[enticeing]

Is it considered helping if you can offer to keep things documented by camera?

( Because he's kind of not running with a full set of anything helpful to... all this. Arcane. Magic. Stuff? Skating to music composed for faeries does not actually, for some reason, mean he knows anything about magic or what's related. The fuzzy memories he has of other times and places aren't a help either.

Alas. He wonders if he has any more rounded skillset when he's the age he's supposed to be.

... Probably not. )

I'm sorry it sounds like it's been running you into he ground being uncooperative.

perma audio!

[spellslots]

I can't imagine it'd hurt?

[The thought hadn't really occurred to him, since it doesn't seem that important in actually solving the issue, but if someone wants to record the process for posterity or whatever, he's not going to stop them.]

And it's cool, I can handle my shit.

[He totally fine, this is all just super great.]

[enticeing]

( The moment when Victor tallies up his skills and arrives at: social media and figure skating. One seems vaguely more useful for this than the other. )

Then I guess I'll go offer my social media services.

( For Science. He hums, ambivalent on his belief here, but deciding it's ultimately also irrelevant. )

I have no reason to believe you can't. How much coffee did you end up being offered?

[spellslots]

[Maybe figure skating in front of the portal would solve the problem, no one can really know.]

Like, four, but one is definitely a trap.

[He's gonna have a Real Uncomfortable chat when Lucretia gets home and he isn't looking forward to it.]

If you're offering I'm taking IOUs.

[enticeing]

( Sir set up an ice rink right there and Victor Nikiforov will be Right On That. )

Sure, why not? Coffee dates are the best kind of casual way to pass the time. Hope you don't mind if I stick to tea for myself.

[spellslots]

[It would be a nice break if nothing else.]

Oh, damn, totally ruined it. It's either coffee or nothing, my man, none of this tea business, we're not heathens.

[The tone of his voice makes it clear that he's joking, because even when everything is hecked up, Taako won't stop with the dumb jokes.]

[enticeing]

( Ah, a mou of his lips and amused disappointment. )

Only the civilized would ground beans to brew with water and drink the dregs left over after the filtering. We unfortunate heathens with our steeped water of leaves will simply have to carry on without the civilized, I'm afraid.

[spellslots]

At least someone gets it in this place.

[He's Stressed 2 Death but that's never going to stop him from being ridiculous. If anything, it's more of a reason to.]

Leaves are for garnishes and salads, not for drowning.