audio ☂ un:liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Good morning Riverview. America's favourite wizard is here with an announcement.

America's favourite wizard is also doing his first audio only post, because he looks like shit and he's out of spell slots to cast Disguise Self.]

So, uh, what's up, my dudes? I'm gonna cut to the chase here, cause most of you aren't complete idiots and have probably noticed that some weird shit is happening and that weird shit, while not my fault, is thanks to some fucko in my world messing with magical items, so now we're dealing with the consequences.

[That fucko is Magnus, who he's throwing under the bus on this, although not by name at least.

There's a very audible sigh from Taako's end of things.]

Here's the skinny: an item with control over time has gotten its shit messed up in the portal, and that's why people are suddenly like, babies or whatever, and the folks here don't really, uh, well they don't know how to fix it. They don't know enough about the chalice, and I don't know enough about the portal, so... so we're asking for help. I'd put money on arcane knowledge getting us the furthest, but at this point I'm willing to take input from anyone who knows their science shit, too, as long as you're not gonna try to tell me that magic doesn't exist. I can guaran-fucking-tee that I'm not in the mood.

[Someone hasn't slept in two days because he's been trying to figure this out, worried about both the chalice itself and the potential that a part of the light existing in this universe could lead the Hunger to it.]

The big thing is that it needs to go back, we bring that shit all the way in here and it's gonna break pretty bad for a lot of people and this stupid cup has given me enough grief that I'm super ready to never see it again in my entire life. Anyone who wants to help should get in touch with the dudes running the portal, but if you got questions I can field 'em. Heads up, you'll get better answers if you promise me coffee.

[He's doing his Good Deed of the week, he could at least get some caffeine out of it.]

Comments

Audio [private] | un:tiera.erde

[manmade]

[Since Tieria is a new arrival, he hasn't directly observed any "weird shit" happening; as far as he knows, those affected have always been like that. But he's not deaf to the rumors and worried conversations happening around him, nor has he missed the tense atmosphere that's been around for the past few days, so Taako's claim isn't without merit. Still, he's hesitant to believe something this ridiculous.]

If what you say is true, I have a possible theory, though I don't know anything about magic. I can confirm that the portal also appears to have some control over time, so is it possible that the issue is being caused by the two objects interfering with each other's time-based properties?

perma that

[spellslots]

I dunno if the portal has control over anything, but I mean, yeah? That chalice on it's own shouldn't have done this, the portal on it's own shouldn't have, so whatever interaction they're having is causing a huge mess.

[manmade]

Is there a way to disable the chalice's abilities?

[spellslots]

Fuck no.

[It's basically made of god magic, that's never happening.]

[manmade]

[And since the portal is naturally reoccurring, there's no turning that off, either. There goes that idea.]

What about destroying it?

[spellslots]

Not unless you're a god. Maybe a demigod could do it, but I'm not holding my breath.

[If he had another relic he could rejoin them, maybe, and that would undo the power the chalice had, but... he doesn't have another relic.]

[manmade]

Noted. I'm assuming you tried to push it back through. [Because Taako must have tried the obvious solution before seeking help, right.] What happened?

[spellslots]

It's just like, real stuck in there.

[So yeah, they tried to push it back through.]

Tried the other way too, as much as I did not want to, and had no luck there either.

[It's going to take more than just physical force, most likely.]

[manmade]

How much and what kind of force did you use?

[spellslots]

A lot? I'm a wizard not a physicist.

[He's not very helpful in this particular area, sorry.]

You're better off asking the dudes at the portal, that's kinda their domain.

[manmade]

[A wizard. He'd only just learned that magic was possible in the last week, so it gives him pause before he continues.]

Understood. For reference, what is your name?

[spellslots]

Oh, I'm Taako. Don't sweat it on the surname I'm pretty sure I'm the only one.

[He better be, to be honest.]

[manmade]

Tieria Erde. [As if that wasn't obvious from his very creative username.] If I have any further questions, I'll contact you.

[And then he abruptly hangs up like the thoughtful asshole he is.]

[spellslots]

[oh ok bye]