[ text | un: jkent ]

[supersweet]

psa: no one is allowed to tell me off for wandering alone in riverview because you guys are all the worst kids ever when you get tiny.

you also all have like zero self-preservation instincts. ZERO.

also if you're a tiny kid and you don't want adults in your business, I'm happy to help out.

Comments

[nikolaievich]

That is a very selfless and mature way to see it.

[Which speaks highly of is upbringing. Clark must be very proud of him. And yes, he's aware the Clark he knows didn't technically raise Jon and nobody knows what the future will bring for him yet... but he can also tell he loves the kid as his own son already.]

But I'm getting the feeling carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders must be a family trait.

[supersweet]

[ Jon pauses at that. He's not sure how much Alexei knows or how much Jon should say. Sometimes, Jon wished his dad had a list of people Jon knew he trusted. Otherwise, he always feels a little off-balance. ]

I don't carry that much. I doubt people think I can do that anyway.

[nikolaievich]

[He only knows Clark Kent, not Superman so he doesn't know much. When he said that he meant metaphorically, because Clark does seem to have a tendency to want to protect everybody as well.]

I think you can do plenty. Like you said kids will trust you more than they trust an adult. And you are a mature, very responsible young man so I would trust most people under your care. So I know you can do this.

But you should also not try to do this on your own. Are you?

[supersweet]

Thanks, Mr. Alexei.

I guess . . . it's kind of normal for me and dad to do things on our own.

[ He's never thought about it before. Certainly, his father praises team work and collaboration . . . but there were some things they just did on their own. For Jon, he had no one else to go to until recently. The idea that there are other people willing to support him is still new. ]

[nikolaievich]

Just Alexei will do. [It's weird enough to have people he actually likes refer to him with his fake name without adding English honorifics to it.]

Is he trying to make you more independent?
You can probably tell by interacting with other 'kids' that will become an useful skill in the long run. But I didn't get to spend much time with my father, so I'd cherish those moments as well.

[supersweet]

What was your dad like?

[nikolaievich]

[Insert VERY LONG PAUSE here.]

He wasn't around much. [That's a way of putting it. But he's definitely not sharing that he was sent into the gulag. The same already burns bright every time he thinks about it, he's not going to talk about it willingly.]

But I have good memories with him. Most of what I do, I do it in his memory. [To clean the family's reputation, really.]

[supersweet]

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be as good as my dad.

[nikolaievich]

I'm sure your father would be mortified to know you think like that. We are not our parents. You are your own person, Jon.

And from what I have seen, that person happens to be a very good and selfless kind of person.

[supersweet]

[ Saying that Clark isn't his real dad wouldn't be nice or fair or . . . anything helpful, really. Now he wonders how his father would take to his parent here. His father who has realms of experience with clones and alternate worlds and everything in between ‐ he always knew what to do, what was right.

And Jon can only wait and hope he'll come close. ]

I know. I know I'm still young and it'll come to me. I know all that stuff. I just wish I knew more sometimes. So I wouldn't feel like I'm making a mistake.

[nikolaievich]

[That’s why he specifically said father, and not Clark. He knows Clark is taking care of the kid and he’s sure he’s doing it wonderfully but it must be weird for Jon to see his father and someone who is not… quite him at the same time. Knowing he may be the man who raised him but not really at the same time. This multiverse kind of stuff honestly gives Illya a bit of a headache.]

Most teenagers think they know more than they actually do, so you already know a lot by acknowledging that you don’t. It means you will listen to adults when they give you advice.

Can I ask you something, though? Clark seems like a very calm, gentle person to me. What gives you the impression he’s casting a shadow too big for you to get out of it?

[supersweet]

[ Oh boy. How does he answer this? Jon doesn't want to lie to Illya. ]

He's gonna do great things. He doesn't know it or believes it, but he will. And I know he's not making me feel like that. But my dad was always bigger than everything. People looked up to him.

[nikolaievich]

[This is kind of getting close to... uncharted territory. Illya and Clark agreed to acknowledge they knew the other was hiding information, but accepting it and trusting each other anyway because both of them had their reasons to hide a part of themselves. And he isn't going to break Clark's trust by prodding his not-exactly-son, but... he's curious, he's definitely curious.]

People will look up to you as well, Jon. You have the kind of personality people follow. You have seemed smart to me ever since our very first conversation. [If he were Russian and from Illya's world he'd probably already have been recruited.] I don't know your father, even though I know Clark. But I have no doubt you will do your own great things.

[supersweet]

[ Or terrible things. Sometimes Jon can't shake his first death. Even one that might seem small to others. ]

Thanks. I mean, I'll still try my best.

[nikolaievich]

[Illya hasn't met Jon (or Clark) for very long, but he would still find it hard to believe they'd do something 'terrible'. But he'd also find it hard to believe they have the kind of superpowers they do, so.]

Trying your best is the only way to improve yourself. But as someone whose childhood was basically devoted to training, remember to enjoy yours as well.

[He won't live through the same age Illya did, won't have the same kind of pressure.]

[supersweet]

What kind of training?

[ It couldn't be like Jon's . . . right? ]

[nikolaievich]

I'm an athlete. An athlete that was official representation for my country during very hard times.

I was held to certain standards. [Hey, that's even true. Not the entire truth, but it's not like he can share all of it.]

[supersweet]

I went to boot camp with Damian once. It wasn't that much fun, but our dads wanted us to learn how to work together.

[nikolaievich]

Who is Damian? If your fathers wanted you two to work together since you were children he is probably important. Either to you or your father.

[supersweet]

Damian's dad is my dad's bestie. Or something.

[ Who knows with Batman. ]

Because of that, we hang out sometimes.

[ Look at this rousing endorsement. ]

[nikolaievich]

[So maybe Clark's friend, in the future? Interesting. Clark's such a weird mix of good with people and someone who'd rather be alone that Illya wonders who'd become his best friend.]

You don't sound thrilled at the idea.

[supersweet]

You need to meet Damian to get the idea.

[nikolaievich]

Can I? Is he here?

[Don't underestimate his curiosity, Jon. He'll always, always ask.]

[supersweet]

Yeah. If you want, I can introduce you.

And if he's a jerk, ignore it. He's always like that.

[nikolaievich]

Some people think I'm a jerk, I'm sure we could manage to find some things in common. [Different kind of jerk, Illya. But he's honestly curious: the Kents are nice and gentle, it must take a kind of character to get Jon to say that kind of thing about someone.]

Is he your age?