2 [anonymous//video]

[smokedout]

[The video starts up a bit like an old 70's VHS tape; grainy quality, washed-out colors, that weird lilt in the music as it starts up. The specific music that plays is a bright and cheery tune from the 50's, like something one would find on the shopping channel back in the day.

What it actually shows is a crude puppet, with a scribbled-on baseball for a head and googly eyes that have weirdly realistic irises. It seems to be made to exist in a permanent state of shock, or... terror. Everything about the image is just a little bit wrong.]

Hey you! Yes, you!

[The words appear on a sort of title card, like a silent film, as if the creator hasn't mixed around with his vintage inspiration enough. And then the puppet can be seen spinning to look at the screen, its eyes jostled in their plastic sockets. Gross.]

Are you in need of PROTECTION AGAINST MONSTERS? Do you suspect someone isn't TELLING THE TRUTH?
Do you enjoy the RUSH OF FEAR? Do you seek to TEST YOUR LOYALTIES?
Do you wish to DEEPEN YOUR BONDS? (Or LIVEN YOUR INTIMATE LIFE?)

[In the style of certain vintage-themed video games, the puppet can be seen in between these pitches engaged in actions related to each question. Pointing a spear at a stuffed animal of some monster. Crying at his bedside. Hiding from shadows in a corner of a room. Shoving another puppet off of a cliff. Hugging another equally not-quite-right puppet... and then a very crude display in the last clip (but at least they're not anatomically correct).

Finally the brand name flashes across the screen, in bright, rainbow, neon letters.]

LAMPYR
is here for you.

Enroll below for beta testing of this sensational product!

[At the very bottom of the screen, very small and blurry text flashes by very fast; if one goes through it frame-by-frame and squints they may notice the words "Test subjects will be selected randomly. Experiments will occur when subjects least expect." Some frames also seem to be replaced by arcane symbols and satanic imagery, as if to scare those trying to read the small text. If one is watching at normal speed, this all flashes by in the blink of an eye before the video suddenly cuts out. Hmm...]

Comments

[glitterpants]

Ah hello Aoba-kun...
are you interested in this product as well? I don't think i understand it but if it could assist in me charming the hardest of hearts, surely it is worth a try, non?

_{[ Maybe it makes him likable? That's how he thinks this works. ]}

[bottombitch]

What? No!

Karamatsu-kun, just now... what you wrote sounded really weird!

Is there someone you want to force into doing weird stuff with you?

[ He probably has no idea how bad that just sounded to an outsider, huh? ]

[glitterpants]

_{[ god, Aoba. ]}
Ah.. i never said anything like that.. but if it improves my social standing somehow.. it sounds like a simple way to do that, doesn't it?

_{[ it's all gone over his head, I'm afraid. ]}

[bottombitch]

[ Whew, thank god. He's an idiot. ]

Ah, I'm relieved.

Karamatsu-kun, I think this suspicious advertisement is trying to trick you into being a guinea pig with promises like that. Please don't fall for it!

[glitterpants]

_{[ Aoba is a Good Boy. ]}
Are you saying you're not a little bit curious yourself?

[bottombitch]

[ To a fault. ]

Sure, it would be great to have a pill or injection that took away my flaws and made me a better person, but nothing like that exists!

I certainly wouldn't go for something that tried to claim they could make people love you!

[ Even if... there's someone he loves very much who doesn't feel the same way. Maybe. ]

[glitterpants]

_{[ Look, he's seen a lot of stuff back home. One injection made their cat psychic-- he's seen pills turn guys into hot chicks. He can easily believe something like this. ]}

Are you lacking such faith in the world?
Do not worry. Now that i think about it, I believe somebody like you would not need anything like this anyway. We've met only online, but your words are kind. They're warm and radiant as the sun!

You are easily likable, you see.
_{[ Karamatsu, listen to yourself sometime. ]}

[bottombitch]

Don't be ridiculous...

[ Ah, he made a good point. He has only done this impersonal sort of communication hasn't he? Maybe he should take the hint he mistakenly thought Karamatsu was giving him and try to actually say hi in person. ]

...

Hey, did you want to meet up sometime? Like grab a bite to eat or something?

[glitterpants]

_{[ did you want to meet up sometime? God. ]}
I see... your faint heart has finally mustered enough strength to propose such a thing to me.
I knew i could count on you.
_{[ that means yes. ]}

[bottombitch]

[ Try not to overthink it, Karamatsu. ]

Ahaha, I'm not sure what just happened now, but I look forward to hanging out.

So! What kind of things do you like to eat?

[glitterpants]

Karaage, or meat wrapped in meat is my favorite. Things that are savory. Barley tea. Wine and beer.

You are really wanting to get down to the very core of my spirit, aren't you? Perhaps, then, we should message each other privately.
_{[ bro he just asked what food you like.. ]}

[bottombitch]

Karaage? Who doesn't like meat on a stick?

Are you wondering about the things I like? Karamatsu-kun, you're so thoughtful! I like sweets, but I love curry bratwurst -- the flavor is so different from what I'm used to.

Na, do you like sweet or savory? I'm curious!

[glitterpants]

Heh. Savory. Absolutely.
Sweets are more of Ichimatsu's thing.

Surely, then, we must find a place that serves both. I will let you know what i can find.