smokedout: Go on the date just to get the dress off ♪ (4 ♪ Oh yeah I'm a sexy mess)
Dodger // 3♥ ([personal profile] smokedout) wrote in [community profile] riverview2017-06-25 08:24 pm

2 [anonymous//video]

[The video starts up a bit like an old 70's VHS tape; grainy quality, washed-out colors, that weird lilt in the music as it starts up. The specific music that plays is a bright and cheery tune from the 50's, like something one would find on the shopping channel back in the day.

What it actually shows is a crude puppet, with a scribbled-on baseball for a head and googly eyes that have weirdly realistic irises. It seems to be made to exist in a permanent state of shock, or... terror. Everything about the image is just a little bit wrong.
]

Hey you! Yes, you!

[The words appear on a sort of title card, like a silent film, as if the creator hasn't mixed around with his vintage inspiration enough. And then the puppet can be seen spinning to look at the screen, its eyes jostled in their plastic sockets. Gross.]

Are you in need of PROTECTION AGAINST MONSTERS? Do you suspect someone isn't TELLING THE TRUTH?
Do you enjoy the RUSH OF FEAR? Do you seek to TEST YOUR LOYALTIES?
Do you wish to DEEPEN YOUR BONDS? (Or LIVEN YOUR INTIMATE LIFE?)

[In the style of certain vintage-themed video games, the puppet can be seen in between these pitches engaged in actions related to each question. Pointing a spear at a stuffed animal of some monster. Crying at his bedside. Hiding from shadows in a corner of a room. Shoving another puppet off of a cliff. Hugging another equally not-quite-right puppet... and then a very crude display in the last clip (but at least they're not anatomically correct).

Finally the brand name flashes across the screen, in bright, rainbow, neon letters.
]

LAMPYR
is here for you.

Enroll below for beta testing of this sensational product!


[At the very bottom of the screen, very small and blurry text flashes by very fast; if one goes through it frame-by-frame and squints they may notice the words "Test subjects will be selected randomly. Experiments will occur when subjects least expect." Some frames also seem to be replaced by arcane symbols and satanic imagery, as if to scare those trying to read the small text. If one is watching at normal speed, this all flashes by in the blink of an eye before the video suddenly cuts out. Hmm...]
ichimyatsu: (pic#10258758)

[personal profile] ichimyatsu 2017-06-28 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
but of course that base ingredient is confidential. "undeniably" doesn't mean shit when you won't even put a face to your sketchy ad.

oh? careful there, i've only talked to so many people that would have any idea that's a valid thing to try to sell me on a bogus product for.
ichimyatsu: (pic#10609423)

i know how to use html really i do

[personal profile] ichimyatsu 2017-06-28 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
baseless assumptions because you've probably got no business giving people experimental drugs.

[Ichimatsu's no detective, but Dodger is still one of the only people he'd suspect just from having known most of the other people he's talked to already.]

you leave him the fuck out of this, he's too stupid to tell you no.
Edited 2017-06-28 20:27 (UTC)
ichimyatsu: (pic#10689977)

[personal profile] ichimyatsu 2017-07-02 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
so effectively you're preying on curious idiots by playing them.
and when shit goes wrong, because you're anonymous you won't have any consequence to answer to.
sounds like a grade a scam to me.


[He doesn't react to the part about concern for his brother.]
ichimyatsu: (027)

[personal profile] ichimyatsu 2017-07-02 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
still sounds like an excuse to me.