video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]

Comments

[spellslots]

I'm gonna text you every single time I cast prestidigitation, just for this.

[scholiast]

Good, I'm really looking forward to it.

(Lucretia's very aware right now that she's fucked up but she's seeing this bit through to the end no matter what.)

[spellslots]

[The first text comes immediately, because he's casting prestidigitation to make sparkles around his cheeks as he grins at her.]

So how long into this are you gonna last?

[scholiast]

(Lucretia stares at the text for a long time, wondering if there's an option to, like... block somebody's number.)

I don't know what you're talking about. This is fantastic.

[spellslots]

Mmhmm, sure.

[He sends another text, because apparently he just cast find familiar for no other reason than wanting an excuse to annoy Lucretia.]

You know what, I really wish we'd had phones on the Stablaster, it would've been great.

[scholiast]

(She's putting her phone on silent :-) )

Right? Even just for chronicling purposes alone having these would be a real time saver.

Do... do you think we could just take them back?

[spellslots]

[buzz buzz motherfucker]

Hell if I know, there's gotta be some kinda rules about how this works to stop any weird shit ending up in the wrong place.

[scholiast]

(AND TURNING OFF VIBRATE.)

That's what I thought... and I suppose we'd have to share them around if we took them back, too.

[spellslots]

[Fine she can just enjoy a slew of texts when she tries to open the messenger app next]

There's no way these things would last more than two seconds with Merle or Magnus.

[Magnus would accidentally break it and Merle would do something stupid.]

[scholiast]

(rip her inbox)

Good call. Okay, so we'd... hide them.

(Secret phones! It's like having really really good walkie-talkies.)

[spellslots]

I'm down with that, except I mean, not being able to share my selfies is a tragedy.

[and possibly illegal, honestly]

[scholiast]

True, we couldn't possibly deprive the planar system of such a thing.

We're not monsters, Taako.

[spellslots]

Listen, I know you're talking shit right now but I am not. I'm fucking art and everyone should get to appreciate it.

[He's talking so much shit rn]

[scholiast]

(She just got in trouble for pretending to be sincere before so she's not gonna risk it this time.)

Yeah, I was. But as if you aren't.

[spellslots]

I'm always serious.

[He says, sticking his tongue out.]

[scholiast]

Bite me.

[spellslots]

[with a wink:] Only if you ask nicely.

[""""flirting"""' with lucretia is his favorite past-time]

[scholiast]

(Lucretia just gives him a deadpan look in return.)

Gross.

(And she shuts off the video feed.)

[spellslots]

[luv u lux]