riverview | Entries tagged with ✖ the 100: bellamy blake

[The feed opens up on Doom sitting at his desk in his office at Gramarye, looking Very Professional, which is basically second nature to him because that's just the kind of guy he is.]

Good evening, everyone. My name is Victor and it is with great honor that I announce that Gramarye Magic Research is going to putting on its first ever fundraising gala next Saturday. It will be a masquerade with the theme of otherworldly. Everyone in the city is invited and we will provide the masks.

[He pauses for a moment to clear his throat.]

Attendance is mandatory for everyone who is currently employed at Gramarye.

[There's a glint in his eyes when he says that. Like he's completely willing to hunt every single one of his coworkers down and drag them kicking and screaming into nice clothes to go to this.

That look disappears almost as quickly as it appeared.]

We will also be holding a bachelor and bachelorette auction during the event to help raise money for to keep Gramarye running at its current level. If anyone would like to volunteer, please contact me privately and I can sign you up.

If anyone else has any questions or comments, I'd be happy to speak to you about them.

spellslots

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]

hardedged

[ jessica jones doesn't want to be here. yes, she sat through the orientation video, as crapass and cheesy as it was, and told the assholes who greeted her that this was a mistake. she doesn't need to be rescued or sent to a new home, but despite her demand to return to her world, she would have to wait. it's difficult to navigate the portal, they inform her, and they ask for her patience. too bad that she lacks any.

a few hours after her arrival, jess decides to grace the network with her presence. what else is there to do while she waits around in a city on the fucking moon? ]

i didn't sign up for this star trek narnia bullshit. how long does it take to fix this goddamn portal?

and where can i find a decent drink in this shithole?

[ #priorities ]

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Entries tagged with ✖ the 100: bellamy blake

video; @doom

video; @fromTV

text | un: j.jones

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