☂ video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

Hail and well met, my dudes.
 
[Despite not having much experience with this kind of video technology, Taako has adapted pretty quickly, mostly because he’s vain as hell and gets to take pictures? Of himself? It’s amazing. So the camera is centered properly, he’s got Disguise Self cast to look the way he’s supposed to, and his stupidly long hair is braided down his back. ]

I got a couple'a things I wanna ask, figured this is the easiest way to do it.

[He holds up a finger, to count the first question:]

So weird thing here, has anyone heard of this fucked up black oil that, uh, that destroys worlds, I guess? [He casts Minor Illusion and the oil, similar to what he saw in Palmon's prophecy, appears in his hand. It's thick and dark and kind of unsettling.] Listen, I'm not really sure exactly what it is, but it's bad. When I saw this stuff, shit was like it'd drowned everything in sight. And uh, the gods are gone, seems like. Which is weird as hell and might be related. This ringing any bells?

[That was the worst explanation ever, but in his defence it's a pretty confusing situation. He's trying his best.]

Second lil thing. [He holds up a second finger, dropping the illusion so the oil disappears.] What the hell are all you thugs doing for money, 'cause gotta admit, I haven't got a whole lot of marketable skills but I'm fast running out of that sweet sweet cash and would really love to not starve, you know? Toss some ideas at me, I'm all ears.

[Get it, because he's an elf.

Well at least he thinks he's funny, since he's chuckling as he clicks off the video.]

Comments

[spellslots]

Ours deffo do, I met Istus, she's rad.

[Mostly because she made sure they didn't die, which was nice!]

Gotta say, not super into going back to square one at some shitty restaurant.

[Because he's still just assuming he'd have to start from the bottom and work his way up.]

[causational]

I've never even heard of Istus.

[A little wince, and he shrugs his shoulders again.]

Well, when they gave me my job, they said I could move up quicker than usual, because I have experience from home, you know? I think it was mostly because I'll need to re-learn all the laws here. Maybe it'd work out that way for you too? I mean, there's no harm in trying, right?

[spellslots]

She does the whole fate thing.

[Which is cool.]

There is absolutely harm in trying, pumpkin! What if I fuck it up real bad?

[He says it like a joke, but it's... only kind of a joke.]

[causational]

Fate.

[He can't help it. He makes a little face, wrinkles his nose, but then waves it off - physically, by waving his hand in the air. And at that last comment, he smiles, abrupt and bright and very warm.]

You can't screw up that badly. And if you do, so what? Just give it another try. But honestly, I'm sure you'll be great.

[A little raise of one blond brow.]

If you need a guinea pig for practice, though, I'll offer myself up for a noble cause.

private

[spellslots]

[Oh, Eddie; that warmth earns a grin, but still.

Taako drums his fingers against his arm, like he's thinking, then switches the feed to private.]

Last time I did this shit professionally, it went pretty fucking bad, my man.

[He doesn't wanna go into details, really, but it- it sucked.]

It wasn't like, my fault, turns out, which was great news, it's just kinda messed up.

[causational]

[Finally, a smile from Taako. And somehow, it's really weird that he can go from thinking elves are something out of mildly boring 3 hour movies to thinking one is kinda cute in the span of a few weeks.]

What happened? And what do you mean, not your fault?

[A beat, and then.]

I mean, if you don't mind sharing.

[spellslots]

[The smile stays, like this isn't a big deal.]

Let's call it sabotage, that'll cover it.

["My assistant poisoned forty people and I thought it was a transmutation mistake and my fault" is a little too much to spill.]

[causational]

[Eddie's smile falters a little at that, a furrow forming between his brows.]

Well, I mean, unless the saboteur is here with you, then it's pretty unlikely that's gonna happen again.

[spellslots]

Here's the thing, though, I don't wanna let anyone touch shit I'm cooking ever a-fucking-gain.

[Which would make it hard to like, work with other people? In a restaurant?

If he could do it alone that'd be fine, but he's not sure how to go about that.]

[causational]

That makes sense...

[A pause, and Eddie purses his lips, then licks them a little nervously, obviously lost in thought.]

I wonder if there's any way to make money off of magic, though. I mean, you were great on the wall. Maybe the Guard thing?

[spellslots]

I can teach it, any thug can learn magic if they want.

[There's no innate skill required for wizardry, it's all just practice and dedication, and a little bit of smarts.]

[causational]

Seriously? Like, even everyday non-meta-human type regular guys?

[Eddie looks more than a touch disbelieving.]

[spellslots]

Not a clue what a metahuman is, but yeah, sure. I wasn't like born a wizard! I'm self-taught.

[If Eddie knew anything about wizardry that could be a little alarming, but mostly it's fine. Taako is decent at what he does.]

[causational]

It's a human with some kind of super power. Like being able to teleport, or turn into a gas, that kind of thing.

So even someone like me then? I'm not even an elf or anything.

[Thankfully, he knows nothing about magic. He's still a little uncertain on it even existing. Despite having experienced it.]

[spellslots]

Oh, I can do both those things, no sweat.

[He waves a hand as if teleporting and turning into gas are very boring, mundane things.

Actually teleporting is fucking hard but he's figured the basics out by now.]

And yeah, for sure! Elves are a little bit better at magic than humans, but I know plenty of human wizards.

[causational]

With magic?

[Eddie's brows raise, and he exhales slowly, shaking his head.]

I'm almost tempted to ask you to teach me, but I'd probably just end up burning off my own eyebrows.

[spellslots]

Yeah, with magic.

[Obviously!! Eddie gosh.]

And you don't have to start with fire shit, that's evocation and conjuration anyway, you seem like an abjuration kinda guy.

[causational]

Okay.

[For a moment, he's just quiet, staring. Because this is way, way too surreal and plain weird.]

I'll bite. What's abjuration?

[spellslots]

It's your protection magic, basically, a whole lotta shields, some banishing spells, I think there's some buffing shit in there. We've got a cleric so I don't use abjuration all that much.

[causational]

You're right, that does sound like me. I think. Shields and banishing spells make sense, but what's buffing?

[spellslots]

Oh, like, making your team stronger? I got a spell called stoneskin which does exactly what it says on the tin, so it's a good one for your fighter if they're taking big hits! Hard to cut a guy with stone for skin.

[A vaguely horrifying spell in all honesty.]

[causational]

Oh my god. That sounds amazing.

[And Eddie is positively beaming when he says it.]

Do you really think I could do it?

[spellslots]

[Oh no he's cute.]

If I taught a ten year old, I'm pretty sure I can teach you.

[causational]

You taught a ten year old? Wow.

[A beat, and he's obviously holding his breath, trying to keep it cool...then...]

I mean, if you ever want, and you have time...

[spellslots]

Yeah, Ango's a good kid.

[It sounds way more fond than it should, so he's glad when Eddie speaks again and he can move on.]

I'll have to see if I can fit you into my fucking packed schedule. [so dry, because, yeah he's not that busy.] But I'm down, might be fun.

[He likes spending time with Eddie, that makes things easier.]