Voice with possible action. (kinda forward-dated a little maybe?) username: ilikehorses

[shoplifter]

[Well, look. Whenever she gets invited to Alphonse's future birthday, she's got a lot to think about.

She must consider this: there will be cake, that is a certainty. Cake sitting on a table, like in Transigen... in front of a deceptive cartoon painting on the wall; ways to trick outsiders into thinking the place is kind to its patients... She's learned at that facility that cake is a staple of birthdays, or rather, from the nurses. Birthdays involve singing, and they all learned the words for Delilah. All for Delilah. But they weren't allowed to have those parties, not after the first and last time; she never bothered asking about them again, because... she knew there would be nothing beyond the question. It wasn't difficult to tell what blowing out the candles and leading them away meant.

She had whispered happy birthday to Delilah on the way out, though.

Really, she's not sure just how normal those birthday choices even were. Outside of the walls of Transigen, what is a birthday like? Is there still cake? Still the concept of presents, or singing? Did the nurses want to try and do something nice but ultimately fantasy? Like Logan had said, ice-cream for bedwetters. She's curious to learn, though. So again, she uses the network for her own gain: this time, birthday information, instead of school.

(I'm sensing a pattern.)

Her voice is casual, but interested. She's not about to ruin the surprise, but she does need to know what she's getting herself into, here.]

What sort of presents are you supposed to give people, for their birthday?

... Toys, no?

[What the hell do adults like to get, for presents? A long pause, and she's not terribly sure of herself.]

Are there fireworks at birthday parties, too?

[Another thoughtful pause, yet again.]

... How do you tell what day you were born? Is it on a special paper?

[Okay, okay, last question there. She bites back more questions. Easy, Laura, easy.]


[ ADDITIONAL ACTION.]

[If you would like to find her out and about, she is wandering the shops for things that might be nice to give to the birthday boy, especially the department stores. Laura also puts on a cool hat and goes to leave without paying for it, of course, so she can be found getting approached by a very unhappy security guard there who is calling out something about a shoplifter. Look ma, it's my username!

... What? Just because she's getting better at being in the real world doesn't mean she's learned the virtue of paying for things.

Her dad stole cigars. She totally saw him do it. Cigars and a phone charger. 

Or maybe you'll find her violently shaking one of those coin-eating candy machines. Stupid thieving machine - she tried to be nice about this and use real money, and see where it got her? Never fear, she pops claws from her knuckles, long and adamantium-silver, and she slices the top of the candy machine clean off, so she can reach inside and take handfuls for her pocket. Man, living the dream over here. Don't bother asking where Linda is, we all know there's a repeating pattern of juking her.]

Comments

voice; knight.time

[chumpelstiltskin]

Nah, no fireworks. Only really important people get birthday fireworks like The Queen or The President or The Rock. The deciding factor is whether you have The before your name. I don't make the rules.

The rest of us settle for candles.

As for the day, I mean. Parents usually know when you were expelled from birth canals but for all I know they just make that shit up. Usually when you're born you get a birth certificate to verify your birth otherwise you're an unborn fetus in the eyes of the government. I guess technically you are still a fetus. Because you're really small.

Do you not know your birthday or something?

voice;

[shoplifter]

I'm not a fetus. Fetuses can't live on their own.

[So straightforward, but she had been listening. Alright, so no fireworks. Candles. That, she's familiar with. She considers his question for a long moment, unsure how to phrase it, what to admit, how to say it...]

I didn't have anyone who could tell me.

voice;

[chumpelstiltskin]

Well, you got me there.

I don't think there's a way to just know when your birthday is without finding someone who could tell you. Maybe you should just throw a dart at a calendar and pick whatever date it lands on? Or just lie and say every day is your birthday and pull off the Quarantine's most successful cake heist.

voice;

[shoplifter]

[What, like, a tranq dart?]

... Do you lie and say that?

[Seems like you're missing out on your own scheme, man.]

voice;

[chumpelstiltskin]

I think it works better when you're small and you have all the adorable points going for you. When a 20 year old guy tells you it's his birthday, he gets a shot and a pat on the back.

You can have my birthday if you want, it's the 3rd of December. Alternatively, you could get really into astrology and pick a birthday based on some randomly assigned traits that seem relatable.

voice;

[shoplifter]

[She's learning so much. She'll be ready to abuse this power to the fullest.]

Astrology...?

[But first!! Shit she has no clue about for 200, Alex.]

voice;

[chumpelstiltskin]

Astrology is the belief that stars have an impact on human behaviour. More specifically, the belief that the ones you were born under have an influence on your personality.

For example, I'm a sagittarius, I am fun-loving, optimistic and independent. Or at least, I want to be, just like literally everybody else. You seem like an Libra to me. Mostly because you remind me of someone.

voice;

[shoplifter]

That sounds weird.

[Stars are just weird specks in the sky, come on, man.]

... Who do I remind you of?

[chumpelstiltskin]

It is weird and it's stupid. I think we had a good thing going with the darts.

A friend back home. An alien girl.

[shoplifter]

Alien? Then she was from space, yes?

[She's been doing a lot of learning here, okay.]

[chumpelstiltskin]

Yeah, space. A planet called Alternia where everyone has different coloured blood and they all kick the shit out of each other all the time.

She was also blind and kind of obsessed with sniffing stuff. I assume you're not the same in that regard.

[shoplifter]

... I sniff stuff.

[Her nose is very good, sir.]

[chumpelstiltskin]

You're already well on your way to being an alien, then. I guess we're all aliens, anyway. Since we're on the moon or whatever.

[shoplifter]

I guess that's true.

We can all be... aliens together.

[chumpelstiltskin]

That's right, aliens on the moon building a weird alien society with our weird alien culture.

You're from Earth, right? Did I already ask that? I can't believe I have to ask that.

[shoplifter]

I'm from earth. 2029... Is that far for you?

It's far for others.

[chumpelstiltskin]

I kind of lost track of time after things blew up, but I was from Earth too. I left like, 2009. Now it's like, 7 years later. So I guess it would be 2016 but now it's just "Year Three".

[shoplifter]

... It all sounds confusing.

[seven years but year three, huh]

[chumpelstiltskin]

You have no idea.

I'm gonna spare you details, though. Nobody cares about that kind of crap, let's be real.

[shoplifter]

Then you must like this place.

At least time makes sense.

[chumpelstiltskin]

Yeah, I actually do kind of like it. Not because it makes sense, but because it's kind of normal.

For a Quarantine on the moon.