[ text | un: trickster ]

[dothelokimotion]

What kind of stories did you grow up with?

What kind of myths and fairy tales were you told?

Comments

voice

[veritron]

[Because she's doing Devious Shit with her computer, stuff that is totally not part of her paid for job, so she's feelin' chatty.]

You mean the ones they knew were bullshit when they told us? Like the Easter Bunny? Or the ones they still believe, like, you know, good and honorable death and shit?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Uh. ]

Easter Bunny?

[veritron]

[ She's going to laugh, because, dude, the Easter Bunny is such, complete bullshit. She can't even. ]

Okay, right. So there's allegedly this rabbit, right? You know, like bunny rabbit? And he comes around on Easter and gives you candy and chocolates and stuff.

It's connected to some dude dying like a few thousand years ago, but, yeah, don't ask me how. Guy dies, bam, diabetes-rabbit.

[dothelokimotion]

[ What is this. ]

Why is mortal culture a death trap? Is it some form of moral? Why have a rabbit who inflicts sweetness and, inevitably, disease.

[veritron]

I know, right?

[So, she's not really tracking what he's saying, because multitasking. Takes her a klik.]

Maybe it's some way to make the fact we're all gonna fucking die suck a little less? I dunno. Once I found out he wasn't real, I kind of lost interest.

[dothelokimotion]

. . .

But I want to know why there is a rabbit.

[veritron]

Fuck me if I know. I mean, all I know people know about rabbits is that they screw. You know. Like rabbits.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Why are people like this. He sighs, very put out. ]

I suppose I will have to look into the matter.

[veritron]

[ Dude, that's easy: people suck. ]

Yeah, well, when you find out, let me know. I mean, I at least know about Santa Claus.

[dothelokimotion]

Who?

[veritron]

Santa Claus.

Get this: he was actually this whole bullshit ad campaign for soda. But if you ask most people back on Earth, they'll tell you he's been real for like...ever, and gives good kids gifts on Christmas.

Total scam, however you think about it.

I had to write a paper on it back when they made me go to school. [So, clearly, it's top notch research.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ This is blowing his mind. ]

How does he know?

[veritron]

Well, if you think he's real, you gotta believe in like constant police-state monitoring.

[ Enjoy some off key singing. ]

"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good!"

Creepy as fuck, right? Watching you sleep!

[dothelokimotion]

Ah. A fairytale, meant to keep children in line. I am familiar with those at least.

[veritron]

Yeah? What do you have where you're from?

[Because hey, she's curious.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki hesitates. ]

We have the Jötnar. Frost Giants. Except those are real.

[veritron]

Man, I got robbed.

Giants sound way cooler.

[Not that Santa found Verity very gift worthy anyways.]

[dothelokimotion]

I . . . suppose they are.

[veritron]

You suppose they are?

Dude. Frost giants? WAY more bad ass than a fat guy who hangs out with reindeer.

[dothelokimotion]

The Frost Giants are monsters. Murderers and thieves.

[ His tone is cool and unaffected. ]

[veritron]

Yeah, I know a lot of people like that, too.

Gonna have to raise the bar pretty high to hit 'monster' on me, man.

[She's seen things in Garrus 9, man. ]

[dothelokimotion]

How high would it have to be?

[veritron]

Ah, shit, man. Normally you gotta get me drunk before you hit me with the philosophical questions.

[But, what the hell. Her new program is compiling, anyway.]

Phase Sixer, maybe? You know, giant robot sent to wipe all organic life off a planet for cyberforming.

Or, you know, shitty humans who decided to experiment on my best human friend till he was begging to die.

Your turn!

[dothelokimotion]

[ Sounds like a Stark robot. ]

My turn to . . . ?

[veritron]

You know, answer the same question. That's how it works, right?

So. What's your line for someone being a 'monster'? Know any?