video | un: iron.man

[buildsomething]

[The video opens on a very nice view of a warehouse ceiling, at least until there's a muffled curse offscreen and it tilts to reveal one Tony Stark. He's practically vibrating with the kind of manic energy that means he's been working for possibly too long, all hair standing on end and a few dark smudges on his face, but he looks pleased at least. Just behind him is a glowing blue hologram picking out the lines of something circular, spinning lazily like it was hurriedly abandoned.]

So hey, you all know those power plants out there in yonder abandoned wasteland? Sure you do. I know there's one working, but I've got some ideas for how to give the other ones a good kick. Thing is, I could use an extra hand.

[The metal arm that's been slowly rolling along behind him suddenly straightens and twists in Tony's direction, claw at the front contracting. Without looking back, Tony just snorts.] Not you. [The arm droops, somehow giving the impression of looking disappointed, but continues his trek to wherever he thinks he's going.]

Anyway, yes. Manpower needed. Preferably the kind that knows it's way around a welding iron, but I'll take what I can get. Oh, and a metric shitload of palladium. So if anybody's got a spare catalytic converter or twenty, let me know.

[He reaches for the phone, then pauses, something slightly sardonic flicking across his mouth.]

Or if one of you magic types wants to straw-into-gold me up some, I'll take that too.

Thanks in advance.

[Looking much more satisfied, he reaches the rest of the way to cut the feed.]

Comments

[buildsomething]

[Tony can't quite fight a little huff of a laugh as Dum-E himself wanders over to meet the new guests. The claw bends nearly all the way to the tabletop as robot and mice inspect each other.]

Races, seriously?

[wingedman]

Yeah, I'm....not really sure how those work. But I got a couple of the souped-up robots from the other Tony before he left.

I think they tape knives to them sometimes, too.

[But not his good kitchen knives. Those are off-limits.

The mice stretch up to the claw, touching it with reverence - and then they start to climb on it, swarming up the claw and onto the long arm.]

[buildsomething]

[Dum-E straightens slowly with almost exaggerated care not to disturb his new passengers and very happily begins rolling off towards the back of the lab. Giving a tour? Who knows. JARVIS will keep him in line, Tony's not too concerned.]

What, like the thing with tying knives and balloons to roombas and having them deathmatch?

[Not that he's ever tried such a thing. Of course not. Especially not with Rhodey and copious amounts of alcohol.]

[wingedman]

Honestly? I have no idea.

[But the mice hear it, so thanks for giving them ideas, Tony. They cheer excitedly as Dum-E rolls off. New best friends.]

C'mon, less chit-chat about the mice, more eating my goddamn delicious lasagna.

[Nudging Tony back in the direction of the microwave now. It's like having an insistent sheepdog around.]

[buildsomething]

Yeah, yeah. It's cooking, relax. Even I don't supercharge microwaves.

[Not here, anyway. But he lets himself be herded over in that direction without too much resistance.]

Hope you brought plates and things.

[wingedman]

[Sam just digs a fork out of his pocket and holds it up.]

I already ate.

[buildsomething]

[Tony pauses in reaching for the microwave and turns to grace Sam with a look.]

I am not eating that whole thing myself.

[wingedman]

You got a fridge, don't you?

[Yeah, that's right, you have enough for leftovers. And who doesn't love leftover lasagna?]

[buildsomething]

I...might have a fridge.

[He does. It doesn't get used often, but it is there.]

Is this you applying to be my PA, now?

[wingedman]

I already have a full-time job, and I'm pretty sure it pays better.

[Also he knows he can't be as hyper-competent as Pepper, but that's probably not a wound Tony wants reopened.]

I'm just trying to make sure you don't work yourself to death.

[buildsomething]

Pretty sure it doesn't. I pay handsomely to deal with me.

[It's an old joke, but somehow Tony still seems amused by it.]

Okay, look, just because I get caught up sometimes...

[wingedman]

You don't have enough money here to pay handsomely to deal with you.

[Sam folds his arms over his chest, but his posture is still loose and joking.]

Hey, I'm just saying. None of us are as young as we were, okay? You can't keep running around like you're still in your twenties.

[And yes, Sam knows that if he did that, his behavior would be even more reckless. It's a saying, Tony, deal with it.]

[buildsomething]

Sure I can. Sleep when I'm dead.

[Thank you for at least not pointing out that some of them are getting dangerously close to fifty, Sam.

With a firm nod, Tony spins back towards the microwave right as it lets out a cheery little ding.]

You're lucky you're not expecting me to share this.

who hits post NOT ME

[wingedman]

Yeah, but do you want that to be sooner or later?

[Hey, Sam's pushing forty, he's not gonna start talking about age.]

So all that talk about leftovers was just for show?

[buildsomething]

No, just that I don't feel like sharing with you.

[He flicks a quick grin over his shoulder as he retrieves the pan from the microwave. He works with hot metal, handling a hot plate isn't that hard.]

[wingedman]

[Sam just makes a face at him.]

Funny how you're all about the lasagna now, Mr. "I don't need to be fed and watered".

[Hypocrite.]

[buildsomething]

Yes, because now it's mine.

[Tony's perfectly willing to play up his own ridiculousness for the sake of amusement. He even curls around the pan a little, just to add to the image.]

All mine.

[wingedman]

If you start hissing 'my precious', I'm gonna drop the lasagna in the first volcano I can find.

[But he's laughing as he says it. Tony, you are a nerd.]

[buildsomething]

It's good, but it's not that good.

[Not that he's tried it yet. But he sets it down on the cleanest stretch of workbench he can find.]

So what exactly are you planning to do while I eat?

[wingedman]

Good, 'cause I don't need you talking about yourself in the third person or developing a split personality.

[Sam just sort of shrugs at the question.] Didn't really think that far ahead. Got any suggestions?

[buildsomething]

[He can't quite fight a grin as he nods towards the couch.]

Make yourself comfortable. Might as well hang out, since you came all the way over here.

[wingedman]

Sure thing.

[Sam flops down on the couch, though he's careful to not damage the incense he still has tucked away.]

I'd make a joke about drawing me like one of your French girls, but I think that's more of a reference for Steve to miss.

[buildsomething]

[Tony just snorts as he pulls a stool over and settles in with his lasagna.]

You haven't inflicted it on him yet? I'm disappointed, Wilson.

[wingedman]

Look, there's a whole lot of pop culture, okay? I can't get to everything.

[Apparently he's missed The Godfather, too.]

[buildsomething]

[He makes a little hmph sound, more occupied by the fact that he's just been reminded that he's actually hungry. Funny how that works. He does at least still have enough self control to be mostly civilized about it.]

Tell you what, JARVIS can take a picture and we can make Steve draw it.

[What? The look on his face will probably be hilarious.]