Video. A Friendly School PSA.

[shoplifter]

 [The feed opens with a huffy looking Laura, sitting in front of the screen like it's a PSA announcement or some such — and judging from the glancing up at what must assuredly be a teacher, it's exactly that. Or something. She scowls at the camera again before looking down at the paper held in her dainty little hands that have totally never hurt anyone ever, no sir. She reads it blankly, and it's very clearly she's the worst podium speaker in the entire universe:]

I have agreed.... to read aloud, so that I will not be suspended for the week.

I would like to formally apologize for anyone I have ever stabbed, kicked, punched, or bitten... It was not my intention to hurt anyone and I will try my best from this point on to control my temper, both — in the complex and at school. [She wrinkles her nose, looks deadpan at the camera, and continues.] I am sorry to Tabitha for shoving her nose in the grass during recess. Even if it was because she was being unkind to another student, it does not give me the right to use... 'force'.

And I am sorry for using... Spanish expletives toward Jared, and hitting him in the throat with his own backpack. Even if he was being rude, it does not... excuse violence. [She looks so annoyed, save her.] From this point on, I will do my best to stay in school... for the whole school day. I will try not to leave past the wall.

[She puts the paper on the desk, calmly.]

... And I will not steal the chocolate milk from the cafeteria anymore.

[More gravely:]

But if Susan insults my accent ever again, I will shove her into the trash ca—


[huh the feed ended suddenly how about that






... she's in detention now]

Comments

[shoplifter]

[Well he's totally right on the money, but — ]

I'm not a typical eleven year old, I think you know.

[personifications]

As much has been apparent, yes. [ It's so hard not to slip into terms of endearment, Laura. SO HARD. ] You spend a lot of time around them? Guns, not "typical" kids.

[ The time around "typical" children is precisely the whole reason for her post, he remembers that too. ]

[shoplifter]

[... She's cut through quite a few of them, for sure.

With a nod, she considers what to even say about the subject.]

I don't like guns... Getting shot hurts.