video » @LOKIOFASGARD; filtered away from @actualwizard666

[ikols]

[ A shifty Loki? Must be a Tuesday. It's dark in the closet, which is only revealed as such when a green heckin lightsaber powers on with an electric FSSHHHAAA!! And, well. This is a toy. Sorry to disappoint any Force-users around, but it's part of a theme of nerdy junk that Loki has collected and stored awkwardly on the surrounding shelves amid wrapping paper. He whispers urgently, trying to wrap up a hat shaped suspiciously like Gandalf's. Nearby sits a packet of figurines; the Avengers seem to judge him even in doll-form. ]

It's Billy Kaplan's birthday, he told me this morning. I now have what I can only describe as a hoard of gifts, yet no cake. I don't want to buy one, that seems like it would be a little too impersonal, but I'm running out of time before he comes looking for me and I can't make one with him around. Can somebody rustle one up, ah, please, and bring it to the Sanctum Sanctorum ASAP-ity? With, I don't know, sparkles or some witchy theme about it?

[ Messily sellotaping up the Avengers, he pleads wide-eyed to his audience. Still hushed. ]

Anyone who helps out eats free at my club, Trixie, for the rest of time.

Comments

[ikols]

Okay, I shoulda finished wrapping up this shit by then, let yourself in! First room on your right is the parlour, I gotta put up balloons in there. You can help with that too. XOXO

[trashvalkyrie]

i literally did not sign up for that

[ikols]

BLOWS UP SOME BALLOONS AND YOU CAN GET WASTED AT MY CLUB LATER WITH UR NEW BOYTOY STRANGE

[trashvalkyrie]

uuuuUUUGH FINE
who
that guy? cake guy??
i dont even know him

[ikols]

He bakes alcohol-based pastries, he's perfect for you.

[trashvalkyrie]

if that were all it took i'd be dating taako for his candies

[ikols]

Isn't he dating other-me?? I'm so distracted

can't ffuckin wrap this Hel-damned sabe r

[trashvalkyrie]

i have no fucking clue
but also i'm not his type so the point is moot


WHY ARE YOU WRAPPING A SABER

[ikols]

a jedi does not explain his secret

ways

[trashvalkyrie]

youre a nerd not a jedi

[ikols]

I have a wrapped-up plastic lightsaber that proves BOTH. I should have bought more, we could have had a battle.

[trashvalkyrie]

i dont think a plastic sword would last very long in my hands

[ikols]

No, no, you smack them together and they buzz dramatically, it's the best thing. Billy loves this stuff.

We have a few real swords in the Sanctum that could be enchanted to glow and do the same noise but I'd rather not risk anyone losing an arm while drunk on rum cake.

[trashvalkyrie]

that sounds boring as shit
i'd rather use my own sword in that case
it might be kind of a buzzkill if i murder someone at this party though

[ikols]

Dunno, you could challenge Strange to a spar purely to put on a show for the bday boy ;D

[trashvalkyrie]

didnt know your boyfriend enjoyed blood sport

[ikols]

Stop drawing blood when you SPAR, maybe!!

[trashvalkyrie]

don't tell me what to do loki