video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

[eyeforaneye]

In that case I have more research to do independently.

Who exactly was this woman, again?

[contacts]

[ lois lane is a hardass, ask anyone — but when he talks about clark, there's a definite softening in her expression, mainly around the eyes. she tries to control it, really. clark just has that effect on her. apparently even when he isn't there. ]

You know, he really does wear too much plaid.

[spellslots]

[Something clicks for Taako and he grins, clasping his hands together in delight.]

Lois! I thought it sounded familiar but I totally forgot the name for a bit there. Clark mentioned you. It's great to put a face to the mystery.

["Jon's mom" also occurs to him, but he keeps that to himself for now.]

[leadintheyoung]

You did not, but I believe you. If I may, what's magick like in your world?

[ Because, as world shaking as the idea is, it has occurred to her that maybe magick isn't the same in other realities as it is in her own. There are magicks she's never seen, never heard of here. There are worlds that seem to be without magick entirely, even, and she's... curious, to say the least. ]

[spellslots]

[The way she frames the question makes him think she's familiar with some kind of magic, and that makes him brighten.]

It's pretty varied, depending on the user! But magic's in everything, like... for a wizard, that's me, I can kinda see the magic in things and use spells to shape that into the result I want. I need to use spells, though, I can't just make it up on the fly.

[leadintheyoung]

[ And that has her eyebrows rising, but not at all for fear or malice. No, the wheels in her head are turning and her head is tilting at the same time. It sounds familiar enough to her to be a strange comfort. ]

You can see it? That is truly amazing. Is it impossible to make up spells on the fly?

[spellslots]

Kiiinda? It's hard to explain, I've never really had to before.

[He's getting better at it, here, but the words still aren't perfect.]

And no luck on that front, some wizards do it? But it's really hard to pull off without blowing yourself up. I'd rather use the tried and tested stuff.

video, un: willnotben

[barksnark]

What would people soup taste like?

[ Says he, with a needlessly thoughtful hum. Important questions need answering, my man. ]

[spellslots]

[Will why....]

Depends on the seasoning, I guess, and whatever the fuck people taste like.

[barksnark]

Would they even need any seasoning? I mean, like, some people are pretty salty.

[ badum tsh ]

[spellslots]

[It gets a chuckle.]

Salt isn't the only seasoning, please tell me you know this.

[barksnark]

It is the best one, though.

[ ... Will hasn't cooked a day in his life. Ever. ]

[spellslots]

You're killing me, garlic is the best seasoning.

[This is heresy, honestly.]

[contacts]

[ another lois is jon's mom, really, but — he's been calling her mom more often than he's been calling her lois and she's trying to do right by jon even if she doesn't think that she's ready for a child yet by any stretch of the imagination. hell, children had never been her plan. seems clark changes that for her, at least in one world out there.

his words prompt a grin from her, at least. ]

Did he now? I won't ask what he said.

[barksnark]

What! Dude, you can put salt on anything. You don't see them putting garlic on the table. Salt and pepper. Ketchup. Mustard?

Never garlic!

[spellslots]

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should!

[spellslots]

It'd be a waste of breath if you did, Taako's no snitch.

[There's something like a reassurance in there, almost; he's assuming that Lois knows about who Clark really is, and while he's not going to outright say anything about it, just in case, he wants her to know that those secrets are safe with him.

Clark's one of his people now, even if he'll never admit it, and Taako's a ride or die kind of friend.]

[barksnark]

Every hotdog in the world with everything on top disagrees with you, my man.

[spellslots]

Shitty fair food doesn't count, that's just the rules.

[barksnark]

Oh, I see, so fair food doesn't deserve the same rights, is that it. Is that how you want people to remember you? As a foodist?

[spellslots]

Abso-fucking-lutely, if that's how I go down in history it's enough for me.

[spellslots]

The witch of the river.

[He could be more helpful but: nah]

[leadintheyoung]

I can only imagine.

[ She'll be pondering that for a good minute, trying to turn it over in her head even as she presses into the remainder of his disclosure. ]

That's different. My people, we Hear it -- [ and she taps her left ear once, twice ] -- and improvisation isn't an uncommon thing. I would even call it integral past a point.

[contacts]

[ she knows, but she doesn't know for sure yet that he knows, so the comment doesn't get an immediate reaction. instead, she just tips her head in acknowledgement. ] Good to know.

[ honestly? she's glad clark has friends. even if taako strikes her as pretty odd still. but knowing that he knows clark and suspecting that he knows about clark make her more inclined to trust him.

still: ] So, about that demonstration?

[spellslots]

[He decides to keep things simple, following that same vein as the t-rex thought, but with a little less building destroying potential.

Taako winks at Lois, and then he kind of... changes. It happens fairly quickly, and painlessly on his end, but Taako's body shrinks and shifts until his figure is replaced by a small black cat, sitting on the chair.

Cat-Taako meows, jumps down to the floor, and gently headbutts Lois's leg, just in case she wants to know that it this isn't just an illusion.]