riverview | video; un: liches.get.stitches

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video; un: liches.get.stitches

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

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[ ... what the fuck just happened. Tony actually has no idea what the hell this guy just said and--]

Was there a point to any of that, or did you just find really good lighting in the part and have to take advantage of it?

Didn't realize there was anything to get worried about, thanks for riling up anyone who's paranoid enough to think that shit in the first place.

They'll probably think you're in on it.

[Why does he think this? Because he's absolutely that paranoid. But he's probably not going to be suspicious of a flamboyant pointy-eared dude who speaks like a teenage girl.]

How does the old and powerful witch know what their intentions are?

Did the spirit tell you anything else?

Roger.

[A strange woman you never saw before responds. Must be one of the new arrivals.]

That's good to hear.

[She sounds very matter of fact, with little emotion.]

What spell? Are you summoning the spirits of the dead?

[ Because I swear to god-- ]

I assume you must have some kind of reputation as a trustworthy individual if you're expecting this to be taken at face value.

[ taako will have to forgive lois' scepticism. she's willing to believe that magic is real, given that aliens are and she's currently in a whole new universe, but - ]

The spirit of an old and powerful witch told you the people here aren't evil?

[ right. ]

What kind of spell is this? Could you tell me more about it?

No spell is perfect, and unless you have the ability to exert your will over the dead, they can still deceive you.

What evidence do you have that the witch wasn't lying beside how your spell supposedly works?

[ Herein rolls the one person who isn't going to question 'that's how the spell works because it does'. In fact, he has some roundabout questions instead. ]

Where was the witch located, Mister Not-A-Delicious-Taco?

[ Well, the good news is Líadan is starting to get a handle on the video function and how to hold the camera, so Taako is treated to an actual centered image of her face instead of a random part of it. Guess who's happy to see him? And... also a bit surprised and excited. ]

You know magick, Taako?

[ Because while she got the important part and definitely intends to ask about it, that is clearly the point that merits addressing first and foremost. That, and, with a grin -- ]

I am almost tempted to say you've been holding out on me.

What would people soup taste like?

[ Says he, with a needlessly thoughtful hum. Important questions need answering, my man. ]

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