video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

[amelioraate]

...no, no you weren't all that clear. Though that does make me wonder why the hell you thought it was information worth broadcasting? I mean, have there been thoughts about the people here being evil or are you just like... two months late on being able to figure shit out?

[ Is Tony a little more of an annoyed shit as of late? Maybe. Sorry Takko, your irrelevant information and complete inability to be succinct is annoying to him.

Not to mention the whole old and powerful witch thing. Maybe it's a magic thing.]

[spellslots]

No, dumbass, I'm just pulling this shit entirely out of my ass. [Can you sense the sarcasm, Tony?] I've known this for ages, didn't think it was worth mentioning until I realised some folks were worrying. [So, not entirely unprompted.] Keep up, pumpkin.

[amelioraate]

Well from my experience, that is kind of where most magic users get their information so...

[ What even is sarcasm? I mean, truthfully, isn't that just how you speak?]

And really, pumpkin? I am more of a sweet pea kinda person honestly.

[spellslots]

Ohhhh, so it's a magic thing, cool, got it. Glad we cleared that one right up.

[He misses people who are used to magic being just part of life.

He's not even going to bother with the rest of what Tony said because he's feeling petty now.]

[amelioraate]

Does it? You one of the magic is a science or magic is a mystic arts kind of guy?

[ Look, magic is a part of life for him, it just so happens that all the people that he knows that use magic are assholes (see, Loki and Stephen Strange). You can't really blame him okay.

He also, as a scientist, kind hates magic on principle. ]

[spellslots]

[He doesn't really understand the question, sorry Tony.]

You can use magic in science and science in magic, but they're not the same thing? Magic's just there, same way air or water is. Are you from one of those places where only super special assholes can use magic?

[This seems to be part of shaping people's attitudes towards magic, if it's something that's cut off from most people.]