video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

[spellslots]

[Taako just nods in answer to her question, not really feeling the need to make a fuss over it, considering he's expecting her to want something a little more undeniable.]

I was talking about the dudes in charge of this place, you could just be an evil supervillain or something.

[Clark's to blame for introducing him to comic books.]

I mean, I don't even know your name!

[contacts]

I'm neither super, nor a villain.

[ but the comment gets a smile from her, head tipped to the side in something like acknowledgement of his point. ]

It's Lois Lane.

[spellslots]

[She's a super reporter.]

Taako, but you already knew that.

[He doesn't go for a handshake, mostly because he's bad at manners and the thought doesn't occur to him.]

Do you work at the... what is it? News Network?

[It's where Clark works, so he's curious.]

[contacts]

[ her super name is miss pulitzer. ]

I do, yes.

[ she doesn't mind the lack of handshake. lois has been in contact with all kinds of cultures and subcultures with different customs before. this isn't so different to that, adapting and going by her interview partner's behaviour, not making assumptions. ]

Why?

[spellslots]

[If she had some kinda snooping power it could be Pulitzer Pries.]

Just curious, my dude, I know a guy that works there. And, you know, the whole thing you're doing here makes a lotta sense if you're a reporter.

[The skepticism, the need to see it for herself, the willingness to actually come do that.]

[contacts]

Who?

[ pulitzer pries is the perfect superhero name for her. ]

Investigative journalist, actually. [ "reporter" probably covers it, though. ]

[spellslots]

Investigative journalist, got it.

[Said with the expression of someone who definitely doesn't know the difference but figures it's not important to the situation at hand. He'll look it up later.]

Clark Kent's the dude I know. Dark hair, glasses, handsome as hell. Wears way too much plaid, which weirdly doesn't take away from the handsome thing the way it absolutely should.

[He sounds fond.]

[contacts]

[ lois lane is a hardass, ask anyone — but when he talks about clark, there's a definite softening in her expression, mainly around the eyes. she tries to control it, really. clark just has that effect on her. apparently even when he isn't there. ]

You know, he really does wear too much plaid.

[spellslots]

[Something clicks for Taako and he grins, clasping his hands together in delight.]

Lois! I thought it sounded familiar but I totally forgot the name for a bit there. Clark mentioned you. It's great to put a face to the mystery.

["Jon's mom" also occurs to him, but he keeps that to himself for now.]

[contacts]

[ another lois is jon's mom, really, but — he's been calling her mom more often than he's been calling her lois and she's trying to do right by jon even if she doesn't think that she's ready for a child yet by any stretch of the imagination. hell, children had never been her plan. seems clark changes that for her, at least in one world out there.

his words prompt a grin from her, at least. ]

Did he now? I won't ask what he said.

[spellslots]

It'd be a waste of breath if you did, Taako's no snitch.

[There's something like a reassurance in there, almost; he's assuming that Lois knows about who Clark really is, and while he's not going to outright say anything about it, just in case, he wants her to know that those secrets are safe with him.

Clark's one of his people now, even if he'll never admit it, and Taako's a ride or die kind of friend.]

[contacts]

[ she knows, but she doesn't know for sure yet that he knows, so the comment doesn't get an immediate reaction. instead, she just tips her head in acknowledgement. ] Good to know.

[ honestly? she's glad clark has friends. even if taako strikes her as pretty odd still. but knowing that he knows clark and suspecting that he knows about clark make her more inclined to trust him.

still: ] So, about that demonstration?

[spellslots]

[He decides to keep things simple, following that same vein as the t-rex thought, but with a little less building destroying potential.

Taako winks at Lois, and then he kind of... changes. It happens fairly quickly, and painlessly on his end, but Taako's body shrinks and shifts until his figure is replaced by a small black cat, sitting on the chair.

Cat-Taako meows, jumps down to the floor, and gently headbutts Lois's leg, just in case she wants to know that it this isn't just an illusion.]

[contacts]

[ lois can't say this isn't what she expected because she doesn't know what she'd expected. magic seems so unreal, the stuff of fairy tales and ridiculous movies. everything she knows, even the existence of aliens, can be explained by science. magic is, by definition, not scientific, isn't it?

and yet, she can't deny that he just turned into a cat right in front of her. maybe there is a scientific explanation for it and no one's discovered it yet. ]

Can you still understand me like that? [ she asks, glancing down at the (admittedly: really cute) cat but making no move to pet him. ]

[spellslots]

[He doesn't expect to be petted, that would be kinda weird considering they only just met.

When she asks her question, the cat bobs it's head in what looks like a nod, and then meows again. He can understand what's being said, but takes the stats of whatever animal he is, and lacks the necessary intelligence to speak. Or the right vocal configuration. But mostly the intelligence thing, because d&d]

[contacts]

[ well, that just looks odd. this whole thing also feels decidedly odd to lois, but — she can stretch her mind a little. believe in things she never would have thought she should believe in. ]

All right.

[spellslots]

[That feels like a definitive enough statement to suggest he's gotten his point across, so Taako heads back towards his seat, returning to his proper shape once he's out from under the table. His back is to Lois, just long enough for him to cast a very quick, silent spell, before he takes his seat.]

Was that enough proof for ya?

[contacts]

[ it isn't proof. it's enough to convince her for now that there's more than she can explain, that he's not crazy, but it doesn't prove anything yet. it would take science to give her that proof and lois isn't a scientist.

but for now? it's good enough, so she nods. ] It's enough to convince me that you're not full of shit. [ she says it with a smile, to take any potential sting out of the words. ] Or crazy.

[spellslots]

[The full of shit gets a grin.]

Who says I'm not crazy?

[Hes not crazy about thinking he can do magic, but that doesn't rule out other types of crazy.]

[contacts]

[ lois studies him for a moment, before shaking her head with another smile, this one more amused. ]

Fair enough. Not crazy for talking about magic.

[spellslots]

I will admit, at least I hadn't heard that one yet.

[People haven't believed him, or have thought he was dangerous (not... incorrect) but no one's said anything about him being crazy.]

Do you wanna ask about the elf thing next?

[contacts]

[ not believing him and thinking he's crazy would have gone hand in hand for lois in this case. ]

Let me guess. In your world, some people are elves and that's just the way it is.

[spellslots]

Got it in one.

[He's not really sure what another explanation there could be, but still.]

Wanna take a guess at the other races we've got?

[contacts]

Why don't you just tell me?

[spellslots]

That's the less fun option, but sure.

[Way to be a buzz kill, Lois!!]

Elves, humans, dwarves, gnomes, halflings, orcs, dragonborn, and tieflings. And robots, I guess, if you wanna count that.

[Technically Noelle is a halfling stuck in a robot, but you know.]