video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

Comments

[spellslots]

The robot thing isn't super common, it's uh, some guy worked out how to put a soul into a machine, so...

[So... robots? Ghost in the shell?

Let's move on.]

Tieflings are what happens when someone gets down and dirty with a fiend. [He waggles his eyebrows, because he's mature.] They usually have tails and horns, which actually isn't all that different from dragonborn, 'cept they've also got scales. But no one's really sure how they started out, you know? They've got dragon blood in them, but how it got there... [shrug emoji.]

[contacts]

Right.

[ that's just. sounding a lot like some weird fantasy novel that lois might have read when she was thirteen and before her skepticism fully formed. ]

[spellslots]

["Fantasy podcast", but close.]

Back to you not believing me, huh?

[Just a guess.]

[contacts]

I believe you. It's just a lot to wrap my mind around.

[spellslots]

[From his perspective, it's the "alien living on Earth" thing that kinds of weird, so it seems weird that apparently she rolled with that one, but different races and magic are tricky.]

There are like, books and shit in the library. From my world? Cause I'm seriously not a fucking historian or whatever, so if you want a better explanation than me half-assing this shit, that'd be the place to look.

[Lois seems like the type to want to do her own research, anyway.]

[contacts]

[ that was weird, too, but there had been a good explanation for it and scientists have been saying that statistically, it's unlikely humans are alone in the universe, anyway. this? she doesn't have a frame of reference for other than "fictional". ]

I'll have a look.

[spellslots]

[Taako's quiet for a moment, regarding Lois, before he shrugs.]

Hey, listen, usually I'm totally down for shooting the shit, but if you, uh, if you wanna take a raincheck so you can process all the weird fucked up stuff happening in this place, that's cool, you know?

[#character growth, he's being considerate of other people's feelings]

[contacts]

[ lois' mind thrives on processing information, on making connections that might not be immediately obvious, on chasing the truth. lois does, really. but sometimes, that takes time and making sense of things isn't immediate.

she doesn't mind admitting: ] That's probably for the best. I appreciate you showing me this.

[spellslots]

It's no big, putting on a show is kinda my thing.

[Even if it's been years since he did, actually, perform.

But that's a thought for another time. For now, Taako finishes off the last of his coffee, collects his umbrella from where it was hooked onto his chair, and smoothly gets to his feet.]

Gimme a buzz sometime if you wanna hang. You must be pretty fucking rad if Clark digs you.

[He's good at compliments.]

[contacts]

[ he is good at compliments, but lois is good at not letting them throw her for even just a second (unless clark's the one making them, he's just so damn genuine about it). ]

I'll do that, thanks. [ she stands, too, holding out her hand for him to shake. ]

[spellslots]

[Taako shakes that offered hand, his grip firm and his hands calloused, and then with a grin, he steps back and disappears in a swirl of silver mist.

He's such a show off.]