video posted by @ruffboi | date: April 1st

[ohhmrburnsides]

[The video opens on Magnus and Lucretia, cuddled up side by side on a couch, holding hands in a very Cute Suburban Couple manner. At first they're not even looking at the camera; rather, they're looking at each other, whispering things with grins plastered across their faces... which are very close to each other. It's a bit uncomfortable, maybe, for someone who might be watching. The mic pics up something like, "You go first," "No, you go first," in exaggerated baby-talk voices.]

Okay, okay, [says Lucretia, who waves at the camera with a free hand (although the other is still holding Magnus's),] I'll go first. Hello, Riverview!

Hey-o!

We're reaching out to all of you today because we have some very exciting news.

[The pair look at each other again and it's like they're making googly-eyes at each other. Gross. Then, they turn back to the camera to announce in tandem,]

We're getting married!

And we're announcing this to the whole network because—

We want everyone to be there!

Yes, absolutely. We want the entire city of Riverview to attend.

In fact, it's required.

Okay, well—

Required.

Alright, yes, [says Lucretia, her expression beginning to crack into a goofy grin,] every citizen in Riverview is required to attend.

[Magnus, on the other hand, has not budged an inch from this facade they've built.] We don't have a date yet.

This is true. We also haven't picked a venue yet.

We're getting there.

Weddings are tricky business, aren't they, dear? [This is her segue into the video's end.] I'd like to go on record to thank my wonderful maid of honor, Lup, for encouraging me to propose—

And the best man, Barry Bluejeans—obviously—for bringing us together in the first place!

[Lucretia giggles at that, and tosses in, softly,] Sorry, Taako.

We can't wait to see you all there! [Magnus turns again to Lucretia, making those ridiculous puppy dog eyes.] Can we, pumpkin?

No, we can't, sweetheart.

I love you, honey bear.

[Lucretia starts breaking again. It's clear she's trying to contain laughter.] I love you too, love muffin.

[Magnus leans in until their noses are touching.] Sweetie pie.

Lemon drop.

Sugar cookie. [He puckers up for a (very goofy) kiss, but before it lands Lucretia's face scrunches. As she reaches to turn the phone off, there is an almost imperceptible snigger.

Below the video player is the following image:]

Comments

private text

[scholiast]

Loki, I have a proposition for you

[dothelokimotion]

[ hmmm. ]

I'm listening.

[scholiast]

Taako and the others have induced prank war upon me. Will you be on my team?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Oh. Loki is oddly touched. ]

I'd be honoured.

[scholiast]

Terrific. They all helped glue my furniture to the ceiling two weeks back, so I'm going to need all the help I can get

[dothelokimotion]

Oh, I'm full of ideas.

[scholiast]

I'd love to hear some

[dothelokimotion]

Who else is on Taako's team?

[scholiast]

I haven't got exact numbers but I know he definitely has Cisco and Magnus. It's safe to assume he also has Lup.

And if he has Lup, he has Barry too.

(Hmm this is familiar.)

[dothelokimotion]

Lup might be tricky.

The rest are feasible.

[scholiast]

Why is Lup in particular tricky?

[dothelokimotion]

I know their weaknesses.

Except hers.

[scholiast]

How very chilling.

Do you know my weakness?

[dothelokimotion]

You take things too seriously.

[scholiast]

(damnit)

Well, you're not wrong.

With your raw trickery and my insider knowledge we should technically be unstoppable

[dothelokimotion]

You've called upon the right god.

[scholiast]

I know

(Taako's going to hate it. She's wickedly pleased.) I'm going to go brainstorm; I'll keep in touch

[dothelokimotion]

Of course. Let me know what you need.