video posted by @ruffboi | date: April 1st

[ohhmrburnsides]

[The video opens on Magnus and Lucretia, cuddled up side by side on a couch, holding hands in a very Cute Suburban Couple manner. At first they're not even looking at the camera; rather, they're looking at each other, whispering things with grins plastered across their faces... which are very close to each other. It's a bit uncomfortable, maybe, for someone who might be watching. The mic pics up something like, "You go first," "No, you go first," in exaggerated baby-talk voices.]

Okay, okay, [says Lucretia, who waves at the camera with a free hand (although the other is still holding Magnus's),] I'll go first. Hello, Riverview!

Hey-o!

We're reaching out to all of you today because we have some very exciting news.

[The pair look at each other again and it's like they're making googly-eyes at each other. Gross. Then, they turn back to the camera to announce in tandem,]

We're getting married!

And we're announcing this to the whole network because—

We want everyone to be there!

Yes, absolutely. We want the entire city of Riverview to attend.

In fact, it's required.

Okay, well—

Required.

Alright, yes, [says Lucretia, her expression beginning to crack into a goofy grin,] every citizen in Riverview is required to attend.

[Magnus, on the other hand, has not budged an inch from this facade they've built.] We don't have a date yet.

This is true. We also haven't picked a venue yet.

We're getting there.

Weddings are tricky business, aren't they, dear? [This is her segue into the video's end.] I'd like to go on record to thank my wonderful maid of honor, Lup, for encouraging me to propose—

And the best man, Barry Bluejeans—obviously—for bringing us together in the first place!

[Lucretia giggles at that, and tosses in, softly,] Sorry, Taako.

We can't wait to see you all there! [Magnus turns again to Lucretia, making those ridiculous puppy dog eyes.] Can we, pumpkin?

No, we can't, sweetheart.

I love you, honey bear.

[Lucretia starts breaking again. It's clear she's trying to contain laughter.] I love you too, love muffin.

[Magnus leans in until their noses are touching.] Sweetie pie.

Lemon drop.

Sugar cookie. [He puckers up for a (very goofy) kiss, but before it lands Lucretia's face scrunches. As she reaches to turn the phone off, there is an almost imperceptible snigger.

Below the video player is the following image:]

Comments

[scholiast]

(Lucretia very nearly cracks at that.)

Yes, well. First... come first served.

I suppose it could be casual any day; depends on what day we decide upon. Magnus of course will be building the entire wedding hall, and the place where we will hold reception.

[tevinteraltus]

So they say, and yet, here you are.

[This the first Dorian has actually, publicly even suggested he and Magnus may be a thing. He doesn't know if Lucretia knows, but he also isn't going to be saying any more than that.

He also isn't actually angry or hurt, but there is a part to be played, and Dorian is nothing if not dramatic.]

Oh of course he would for his...what was it? "Honey bear"? I'd expect no less.

[scholiast]

(Lucretia's eyebrows raise in response.)

Oh! I see.

(She taps her nose and winks. There's really only so far she can go when pretending to be in love with Magnus, especially when talking to Dorian who she knows is a 'person of interest'. She's losing steam a little in the joke, now.)

I told him 'honey bear' was too much.

[tevinteraltus]

Oh, but he claims he's given his whole heart and soul to you! "Honey bear" seems to pale in comparison to such a confession.

[Dorian's lips curl in a smirk.]

A woman as striking and clearly powerful as you? Who could possibly hope to compete against, let alone withstand such presence? Magnus never stood a chance.

[scholiast]

(stop)

Please, (Lucretia says, almost beside herself. She's actually leaning on Magnus for support now because this is so horrible.)

I cave, I give in. Everybody knows we're not getting married, it was a terrible, terrible goof.

[tevinteraltus]

[It isn't often Dorian laughs, but he does now, and it's deep and hearty.]

Oh, I don't know. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[scholiast]

(Lucretia recovers quickly: she has been appreciating all the various reactions to their prank. Sure, they haven't fooled a lot of people, but its been fun. Always is with Magnus.)

Good; that was what we were aiming for.

[tevinteraltus]

Splendid! You performed swimmingly but I'm afraid my praise will needs suffice for reward.

[He inclines his head.]

As it should.

[scholiast]

Fair, though I think I will hand it over to Magnus to handle the reward aspect.

(Smooth. You're welcome, Magnus.)

[tevinteraltus]

[ He smirks. ]

Another test. Let us see if he passes.

[scholiast]

I'll be rooting for him.