text; un: worstwitch

[bastardofipswich]

M4M SEEKING: NEW ARCH-ENEMY
18yo swm in search of new arch-enemy!! i took a 3 month long nap and my old one left the city with his gf :(

must be:

• male
  
• ages 17-21
  
• btwn 5'10" - 6'3"
  
• athletic
  
• able to take a beating
  
• magic OR otherwise superpowered
  
• annoyingly moral
  
• bicuriosity a plus
  

it would also help if you had an annoying group of friends i could use as leverage against you. interested parties can get in touch with Chase Collins @worstwitch!!


ps: pls include a headshot

Comments

[bastardofipswich]

i'm just fucking with you
i've had one enemy
and siiiiiiiiigh......... he was the enemy of my life

[muskeg]

[ that sounds an awful lot like 'the love of my life'. are you sure you know how enemies work? ]

... right. and he left town. with.... his girlfriend.

.........

pretty sure you are just looking for a fuck buddy you can fight with first, sweetheart. and, from personal experience, they are pretty easy to come by if know what you are doing. personal ads ain't gonna cut it. go to a bar and throw a hex, or a smartass comment, go from there.

[bastardofipswich]

[ His feelings for Caleb can be summed up as: It's Complicated. ]

are you telling me
that this personal ad i painstakingly crafted and definitely hoped for a serious response to..........
was a bad approach????

[muskeg]

[.... he is finding you far too fucking amusing because jesus fuck that gets a laugh from him.]

oh no, wonderful approach, 8/10. next time use more comic sans and sparkling banners though for the final two points.

but my way means no possibility of being catfished with dashing headshots of prince charmings that are clearly stolen. also easier to judge morals in person. unless this was just an application before the interview stage, then, well, what do I know.

[bastardofipswich]

[ THIS IS HOW FRIENDSHIPS ARE BORN. ]

oh shit that's a good idea

hmmm
you've got a point
guess i should hit the town in search of my new soulmate

[muskeg]

[ they can have their own reality tv show: the worst witch. broadcast it to all of riverview. or maybe not, but still.]

i am full of good ideas. and terrible ideas, but mostly terribly good ideas.

... thought you were looking for an enemy. a soulenemy? whatever.

[bastardofipswich]

yeah yeah yeah
soulenemy
that's the stuff :)

[muskeg]

[ can you feel his gaze of disbelieving judgement? CAN YOU. ]

uh huh.

well good luck with your soulenemy search, witchling. try not to break too many hearts with your incredibly high standards.