text; un: worstwitch

[bastardofipswich]

M4M SEEKING: NEW ARCH-ENEMY
18yo swm in search of new arch-enemy!! i took a 3 month long nap and my old one left the city with his gf :(

must be:

• male
  
• ages 17-21
  
• btwn 5'10" - 6'3"
  
• athletic
  
• able to take a beating
  
• magic OR otherwise superpowered
  
• annoyingly moral
  
• bicuriosity a plus
  

it would also help if you had an annoying group of friends i could use as leverage against you. interested parties can get in touch with Chase Collins @worstwitch!!


ps: pls include a headshot

Comments

@just.marco; text

[brightline]

you sure this isn't a personals ad. sounds like you're looking for a boyfriend.

[bastardofipswich]

[ Oh Marco...

You are 100% accurate in that assessment. ]

i mean...
an arch-enemy relationship is KIND OF like dating
if you think about it

[brightline]

dude you and I have had very very different arch-enemy situations. then again, my arch-enemy was a foot-long slimy grey slug so the attraction factor just wasn't there.

color me curious. I'd give it a try if I didn't miss like half your criteria

[bastardofipswich]

okay first: ew
second: mine's got abs for days and has that whole 'tall dark and handsome' thing going on so he set the bar high

but maybe i can make an exception. send a selfie!!

[brightline]

ew is an understatement.
oh man your ex sounds like a handsome man. reminds me of my best friend back home, he had that whole athletic tall serious good guy thing going on. it's infuriating.

well, I hit the age range (20) and the thing about superpowers and taking a beating. not bicurious, just bi. the rest, eh.

[Attachment: selfie.png]

[bastardofipswich]

so the question is how do we get your bff over here...
oh and what are his opinions on witches

[ Tall athletic good guys are his kryptonite. SIIIGH. ]

omg you look so emo. it's cute ;)
talk powers with me. what can you do?

[brightline]

haha I wish. it might snap him out of whatever weird funk he's been in. no idea what he thinks about witches, honestly. never run into one.

emo? ugh maybe I need a haircut.
I can change into whatever animal I want, long as I can touch it once.
my fave is gorilla, but I've got a t-rex and a big beetle thing too for sheer firepower. don't ask me to become an ant ever again.

Text @ scavenger.rey

[talentedscavenger]

Sounds more like a business ad.

Why would you want an enemy to begin with?

[bastardofipswich]

[ The moment Marco describes his power, Chase's attention is focused SOLELY ON IT. ]

holy shit
hold up
rewind

YOU CAN TURN INTO A T-REX???

[bastardofipswich]

it's a pretty serious business ad

because i miss mine :(

[talentedscavenger]

If it’s a business ad, you didn’t list a price.

Then was he really your enemy? Sounds like he was more of a friend.

[bastardofipswich]

fine then it's a personal ad
i'm looking for a long term hostile relationship here

well
mutual hatred is a pretty intimate thing, you know ;)

[ No, Rey's right; Caleb had become... something of a friend while they were here together. And even before, even when Chase was actively trying to kill him, he had a pretty huge crush on the guy. It's pretty complicated when you want to kill somebody and kiss them at the same time. ]

[talentedscavenger]

[ ....Well she has something like that with Ben, but trying not to think about that. ]

Does it have to be hostile?

....no comment on that.

[ A beat as she teenaged asking...]

Do you remember being here?

[bastardofipswich]

what's the point of having an arch nemesis if it's NOT hostile?

yeah of course i remember. i just don't remember what happened in the last three months.
did i miss anything? did you FINALLY learn how to play scrabble?

[talentedscavenger]

It sounds like you want more of a lover—albeit a hostile one.

Nothing has really happened—and no, I haven’t. No time for it.

Why is scrabble so important?

[bastardofipswich]

if i wanted one of those i'd load up friendr and swipe right on every guy who looks like he might have a six pack

you'd know if you'd bothered to play it

[talentedscavenger]

Uh-huh. Between me sending you that last text and now, did you do that?

There isn’t a need or a want to play it. Besides there are other things to do.

[bastardofipswich]

i'll leave that to your imagination ;)

like what

text; @actualwizard666

[wiccant]

Pass on the arch-enemy thing, but welcome back.
I kept Cujo for you.

[talentedscavenger]

I’d rather not think about that.

Keeping a job, having shelter, food and making sure your friends are ok.

[bastardofipswich]

wow you're as exciting as ever

[talentedscavenger]

You don’t know the half of it.

[bastardofipswich]

are you sure?
i make a pretty great arch-enemy!

[ AS FOR CUJO... That's enough to get Chase to switch to video. ]

Where is he? I honestly figured Sarah kidnapped him.

[ He's so excited WHERE IS HIS PUPPY ]

[bastardofipswich]

pretty sure i don't want to know! there's only so much adrenaline fueled excitement i can take

[talentedscavenger]

I can’t say I’ve missed your sarcasm.

That’s fine, it only involved armies, flying through space, and a fierce battle. Nothing much to it.