riverview | audio ☂️ @fromTV

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audio ☂️ @fromTV

[Normally, Taako is absolutely the sort of person who likes making sure everyone can see how good he's looking, if he's on the network, but things are Different today.]

So uh, hey, is anyone else fucking blind? Cause I'll put up with a lot of horseshit from this place but I'm drawing a line in the sand at taking my eyesight, I've got crap to do and like, I dunno about the rest of you dipshits but I need to see to do my job. There's no way I'm gonna keep burning spell slots on arcane eye or whatever.

[He's doing his best to sound chill about this but honestly, it sucks and it's a little troubling.]

Can someone hurry the fuck up and figure this out? Or at least recommend me fucking audiobooks or something, I guess? That's the level I'm sinking to here, audio-only media. This place is stupid as hell.

[Annnnd with that, he cuts the feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(There's a very awkward silence.)

You know, I do have information about why you've suddenly gone blind but now I don't feel like sharing.

[She brought this upon herself and he's going to keep making it worse. She'll tell him eventually, that's how friendship works.]

So you can talk about me jerking it but we can't talk about my sex life?

I did not talk about you doing anything, thank you! I made a simple enquiry!

(WHY DOES SHE DO THIS. IT GOES THE SAME WAY EVERY SINGLE TIME)

You can't sit there and act like you weren't making a masturbation joke just cause you're an old lady.

[rude]

(That gets a little snigger out of her.)

Look, I am so very, very old and innocent and I don't know what I'm talking about.

You don't even know what jerking off is, right?

[why are they friends]

Is it when you act like a big jerk? Because if so, no practice required.

(because they're both awful)

Well, not for you, at least.

[fingerguns]

(ayoooooooooooo)

Watch it. I've piled a lot of points into being a big jerk.

What are you gonna do about it, dunk on me?

[oh nooooo that'd be terrible it's a shame she's bad at it

she's not, she can read him for filth but he's betting that she probably won't do that publicly]

Nah, I'm gonna pivot and fill you in on what's up instead.

(zag on em)

Gramarye discovered the root behind the problem with the rivers. Creatures called 'Guardians' have been interfering with the water; we're still in discussions with them about their intent, but we've found they have a very powerful magical influence. You must be sensitive to what they're putting out. Other people have reported loss of other senses, too.

I knew you'd spill eventually.

[She's too nice and she likes him too much, how unfortunate for her.]

So, uh, are you thugs doing something about the shitty side effects or am I just waiting it out?

[Be nice they're doing their best.]

Like I just said we're still talking to them, but the moment we can get a solid answer I'll let you know. They uh, talk very slowly.

(It's a rough time.)

Hey, I don't know if you've been talking about just the water shit or all of it. Sounds like fun though, once again I am hella glad I don't work there.

[Doing work when other people require it of him??? Terrible.]

It's actually really fascinating. They've been around for so long, you know? I'm hoping they won't mind answering more inane questions once we get past the who what where why and hows.

We've been around for so long and you don't see me sending people blind for shits and giggles. Worst I've done is like, murder.

[How is that not as bad???]

Oh, I'm not going to touch that statement.

They've been explicitly non-confrontational; I don't think they're doing this maliciously. They're very powerful, so I personally think it's a temporary side effect. They have a very overwhelming aura.

[smart]

Well thank fuck they're not doing it on purpose.

[Masturbation jokes aside, this whole thing is unsettling and he would really like it to not be happening.]

I'd offer to help move 'em along, but...

[but this]

Makes for a nice change, doesn't it?

(But her tone does soften; she'd hate to be suffering any adverse affects, too.) The moment I get any extra information I'll let you know. Promise.