riverview | video, locked to residents 18+ only; un: b.zethir

[Bryn, Taako]

[The feed opens on Bryn standing in an apron in Taako’s kitchen, holding the selfie stick that supports the camera. Thanks to Taako there’s a smear of frosting on her cheek, and thanks to the open bottle of vodka in the background there’s a slightly unfocused look in her eyes. But she’s happy and smiling so clearly all is well.

Taako is a little more focused and a little less tipsy, because unlike some people he’s actually working here, on the monstrosity in front of him. There’s a cake in the center, the crumb layer already done, and around it are smaller cupcakes that he’s assembling into a castle, with tall spires and ramparts. It’s about halfway done, but still clearly a castle.]

Surprise, surprise, I’m back! [She grins as she pours a fresh shot of vodka into a glass and then puts it to Taako’s lips to help him drink while his hands are full.] Wanted to say hi, but we’re also broadcasting for a very important--well first, say hi, Taako!

What’s up, thugs?

We’ve taken on a very, very important project. An artistic masterpiece of...of--well, it’s a cupcake castle! With phallic spires! [She looks and sounds utterly delighted by this.] But we’re looking for a volunteer for the finishing touches.

As much as I like, hate to admit that I can’t do every-fucking-thing perfectly, I am not a master painter or whatever, and this dope as shit cake is gonna need a mural.

A mural of lots of different people fucking. Lots of people. [Said with a decisive nod, despite Taako giggling in the background.] Seriously. Like, someone who can paint people of all races, genders, and orientations totally banging on the fondant walls. It’ll be fun! And we’re paying in cupcakes and vodka!

We’re uh, we’re also looking for any dipshits who wanna get in on this bad boy once it’s done cause if she tries to eat all this herself she’s gonna fucking die and that’d be some kinda tragedy, so-- [He gestures with the icing spatula in his hand.] -- sign up here if you’re into cupcakes. Or spun-sugar dicks!

[Bryn blows a noisy kiss to the camera and cuts the feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have never been hungrier or been more turned on.

right??
i've been trying to be patient by drinking more vodka
i figure it's my way of being helpful because it means i don't eat the castle while he tries to build it

You are a true friend Bryn
so thoughtful

save me a sugar dick I wanna see how bad I can make Bar blush

that's what I said! :D :D :D

also i will save you 2!!! because that's even better and more to work with
and also you need to introduce me to him at some point okay?

well duh???
you're meeting my man
you can't escape the nerd

also holy fuck with two of them we can have a dick fight!

good, can't wait!!
what's he like anyway?

[She's heard a bit from Taako but hearing from Lup would be excellent considering the different perspective.]

omg we could
a dick fight, yes
god what's the phrase
the thing
with the dicks and the...

does it make it a frot fight??

huge nerd, adorable man, sweetest guy in several universes. Also badass reaper, necromancy genius and SUCH a hottie.

[ Lup he's literally a middle-aged socks-and-sandals dad. ]

and oh fuck yeah! frot right, the dick that breaks first loses. Winner gets to eat both.

well damn
sounds like a catch for sure
glad to hear he joined you here ♥♥♥

also omg if we the winner eats both does that mean we can't yell at each other to EAT A DICK because that means we're telling the other person to win?

the best ❤️❤️❤️

omg
that is so good but now also a problem
how much of a choke hazard is deepthroating the sugar dicks

...i would find out for science but
i'm drunk enough that the choke hazard is 100% for me right now 8C
we might have to do this when i'm more sober

do you know how to wield a sword anyway?