video, locked to residents 18+ only; un: b.zethir

[inlaid]

[Bryn, Taako]

---

[The feed opens on Bryn standing in an apron in Taako’s kitchen, holding the selfie stick that supports the camera. Thanks to Taako there’s a smear of frosting on her cheek, and thanks to the open bottle of vodka in the background there’s a slightly unfocused look in her eyes. But she’s happy and smiling so clearly all is well.

Taako is a little more focused and a little less tipsy, because unlike some people he’s actually working here, on the monstrosity in front of him. There’s a cake in the center, the crumb layer already done, and around it are smaller cupcakes that he’s assembling into a castle, with tall spires and ramparts. It’s about halfway done, but still clearly a castle.]

Surprise, surprise, I’m back! [She grins as she pours a fresh shot of vodka into a glass and then puts it to Taako’s lips to help him drink while his hands are full.] Wanted to say hi, but we’re also broadcasting for a very important--well first, say hi, Taako!

What’s up, thugs?

We’ve taken on a very, very important project. An artistic masterpiece of...of--well, it’s a cupcake castle! With phallic spires! [She looks and sounds utterly delighted by this.] But we’re looking for a volunteer for the finishing touches.

As much as I like, hate to admit that I can’t do every-fucking-thing perfectly, I am not a master painter or whatever, and this dope as shit cake is gonna need a mural.

A mural of lots of different people fucking. Lots of people. [Said with a decisive nod, despite Taako giggling in the background.] Seriously. Like, someone who can paint people of all races, genders, and orientations totally banging on the fondant walls. It’ll be fun! And we’re paying in cupcakes and vodka!

We’re uh, we’re also looking for any dipshits who wanna get in on this bad boy once it’s done cause if she tries to eat all this herself she’s gonna fucking die and that’d be some kinda tragedy, so-- [He gestures with the icing spatula in his hand.] -- sign up here if you’re into cupcakes. Or spun-sugar dicks!

[Bryn blows a noisy kiss to the camera and cuts the feed.]

Comments

video; un:heirwolf

[lykou]

But... why?

[ He says that with the utmost of sincerity. He is very confused right now. ]

video;

[inlaid]

[Bryn smiles back at him with a head tilt.]

Why, what?

[lykou]

Why make it phallic, and put smutty paintings on it? Is it meant for art, or for eating?

@lightemup

[umbrastaff]

I have never been hungrier or been more turned on.

[inlaid]

right??
i've been trying to be patient by drinking more vodka
i figure it's my way of being helpful because it means i don't eat the castle while he tries to build it

[umbrastaff]

You are a true friend Bryn
so thoughtful

save me a sugar dick I wanna see how bad I can make Bar blush

[spellslots]

Please never used those words again

[He's playing at being scandalized, they lived on a tiny ship together for a century.]

[umbrastaff]

👅 👅 👅
what the fuck did you even expect

video; @falcon

[wingedman]

You know, they make fondant printers. So if you can actually find art that already exists, you could just print it out on giant sheets of fondant.

Or at least you won't have to find someone who can, you know, specifically paint on fondant.

[Finally, those years of watching cake competitions come in handy.]

[inlaid]

We don't have a printer right now tho and let's be real, this masterpiece needs hand-painted art, Sam. It is a classy cupcake castle of fornication.

[Complete with wiggly hand gestures.]

[wingedman]

Oh, yeah, the goddamn Sistine Chapel of cupcake fornication.

[He knows the reference is lost on Bryn, so he just attaches a picture of the Sistine Chapel ceiling.]

video; @fromTV

[spellslots]

I mean, sure, but it's just not the same, you know? This shit has gotta be good enough for my cupcakes, not printed off.

[He's a princess.]

[wingedman]

Man, you all demanding.

You know at least one of the Steves, right? They do art.

[Said in the most innocent way possible. He knows Taako knows Loki, and Loki's dating Steve. Ta-da, art!]

audio un:pnwsalex

[11calls]

Wow.

Honestly, I feel like there should be a giant dick castle festival now. I mean we have one for everything else, right?

Can you imagine just the whole center filled with dick castles?

[Alex just sounds so amused about all of it.]

[inlaid]

Oh deities, could you even...just think there could be like, a whole contest. Based on artistic design, or realistic molds or something...and of course flavor and any other wacky creativity...

[Bryn could clap her hands together, but, well, she's holding the phone in one hand and a shot in the other.]

[11calls]

[Alex switches to video, and she just looks so highly amused by all of this.]

I honestly don't see why not. I mean, it would be hilarious, even if we needed to lock it away from the kids here.

video | @minsu

[foxtrots]

Welcome back!

[okay, so minsu wasn't here when bryn was here before. that doesn't mean that he can't be glad that she's back so he can meet her this time.]

Is that a wedding cake?

[inlaid]

[Bryn bursts out laughing, giving Minsu a little wave. She doesn't know if he realizes that she was gone for three months and it's not that she left and came back between their conversations...but it doesn't really matter.]

Uuuh, no, not a wedding cake. Just a very fancy, adult, castle cake. Do you want some when it's finished?

[video] un: b1gbrother

[relieable]

[raises both hands]

I can't paint, but I'm here to eat! I can bring coffee or tea! Or booze.

[inlaid]

That works! As soon as it's done we can let everyone know and they can bring drinks. All the drinks!!

[mirakills]

How lascivious. I suppose I can snap my fingers and make the brushes paint for themselves, but I couldn't promise you the outcome.

[ Probably something just as indecent but horrific instead. Bern is not about to draw an orgy. ]

[spellslots]

If we were gonna cheat with magic I'd just toss an illusion up, it's not the same.

audio; @chronicler

[scholiast]

(is this a audio response for any reason other than lucretia's too embarrassed to get on video?? unknown)

Not to 'harsh on your vibe', but it would be difficult to replicate a mural that complex on such a small space? It might all uh, blend together.

Unless that's the aim. Also hi Bryn, it's good to see you again.

video

[spellslots]

[Is he on video just so he can look pleased with himself? Maybe so.]

I'm gonna put a couple fondant sheets up for the ramparts, like... [He moves two cupcake towers a decent width apart, to demonstrate.] There's gotta be enough space there to do something kinda cool?

audio;

[inlaid]

Good to see--hear you again!

[Since Taako has the cake side of this handled Bryn decides to go for the social side with Lucretia.]

All has been well with you, I hope?