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VIDEO, @GEKOKUJOU
(in the beginning, it looks like suigetsu is trying to take a selfie with a particularly horrifying looking fish with teeth longer than its dorsal spines. but he lowers his peace sign, pulls the phone closer for a flattering view of double-chin, and grins into the camera.)
Yo, I'm Houzuki Suigetsu, and this is my first network post of all time. I'm gonna make an announcement to commemorate it, so listen, okay? I won't repeat myself just 'cause you wouldn't pay attention the first time around!
(hope your phone has a translator, because it's notably japanese, both spoken and written on the sign suigetsu lifts up. it looks handmade and like something a child in elementary school could cook up. and while there's an attempt at english, to appease the majority of the people here, both languages have poor spelling and even poorer handwriting.)
Do you like fish and fish-like things? Amphibians and, uh, things that look a lot like amphibians that I'm not too sure about? Well, look no further than—
(eyes creasing, there's a flash of pointy chompers that make him look like he belongs there.)
We were open before this, but I thought that there should be more of you guys going now that I work there. Like the sign says, we're open every single day except for Sunday, from nine in the morning till five in the evening. This might mean that you can't come, 'cause you're at your own job, but you should leave there and come here for a tour instead!
What do you think? It's a swell idea, right? Are you coming right now?
(a tilt to his head, raising the phone back up so only his eyes, his forehead, and his fish friends are visible. many bubbles are blown, many alien crab pincers are pinced. and honestly? it looks kind of fun.)
Lemme know if you are, so I can meet you at the entrance and give you one of my super special all-inclusive tours, with a bonus prize if you listen to my whole talk without interrupting. How could you pass an opportunity like this up?! The right answer is that you can't!
Suigetsu, out-o!
Yo, I'm Houzuki Suigetsu, and this is my first network post of all time. I'm gonna make an announcement to commemorate it, so listen, okay? I won't repeat myself just 'cause you wouldn't pay attention the first time around!
(hope your phone has a translator, because it's notably japanese, both spoken and written on the sign suigetsu lifts up. it looks handmade and like something a child in elementary school could cook up. and while there's an attempt at english, to appease the majority of the people here, both languages have poor spelling and even poorer handwriting.)
Do you like fish and fish-like things? Amphibians and, uh, things that look a lot like amphibians that I'm not too sure about? Well, look no further than—
(eyes creasing, there's a flash of pointy chompers that make him look like he belongs there.)
We were open before this, but I thought that there should be more of you guys going now that I work there. Like the sign says, we're open every single day except for Sunday, from nine in the morning till five in the evening. This might mean that you can't come, 'cause you're at your own job, but you should leave there and come here for a tour instead!
What do you think? It's a swell idea, right? Are you coming right now?
(a tilt to his head, raising the phone back up so only his eyes, his forehead, and his fish friends are visible. many bubbles are blown, many alien crab pincers are pinced. and honestly? it looks kind of fun.)
Lemme know if you are, so I can meet you at the entrance and give you one of my super special all-inclusive tours, with a bonus prize if you listen to my whole talk without interrupting. How could you pass an opportunity like this up?! The right answer is that you can't!
Suigetsu, out-o!
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What's volleyball?
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Uh... a competitive sport? It's fun. If I get enough people together, I want you on my team.
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did he actually die and not know it?)
How hard do you have to try at it... Like, can I pitch in every once in a while, and float around the rest of the time?
(but are you sure you really want this on your team...)
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Guess that depends on how far into the lead we are... [ He scrubs at his chin and thinks a moment, a smile curling at the corner of his mouth. ] And how much face you wanna lose to your competitors.
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...
Unless Sasuke was on the other team. Can he be on our team too? If not, I don't wanna play...
(TOO SCARED)
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Dunno yet, I only just thought of it... all this talk of water reminded me that you were the kind of guy I wanted on my team.
[ Let's just keep it simple and straightforward - not a complete answer but it'll do for now. ]
You and Sasuke are close, huh?
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(looks pleased enough now, though; he knows he'd be devastating at any water-related sport. he could give sasuke a run for his money, too.
as for the next comment, it gets a quirk of a brow.)
I wouldn't say close; Sasuke and I were teammates a couple years ago. I helped him reach some of his goals and then the war ended, so we're not partners anymore, but I guess we know each other a little more than most people. Why do ya wanna know that?
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Do I need a reason to ask? I don't know anyone here, I'm - [ A pause. ] Maybe a little envious.
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(tries to understand... fails...)
Are you missing your pals or something? 'Cause if it's just that, that's okay. You're a nice enough person, so you won't have any trouble making new ones.
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Hang on, did he just compliment him? ]
...No, no -- Listen, forget what I said, alright? It's complicated.
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(that's it. doesn't ask again, doesn't push for an answer. simple is as simple does.)
Are you coming to the aquarium, or not?
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Right now? [ A pause. Well... he doesn't have any training sessions today. Maybe that won't be so bad. The only problem is that this seems like the sort of thing he'd take Iris to, or a date. ]
...You mean... just the two of us?
1/2
2/2
Yes?
WELP... /accidental date is a go
Okay. So, that's... fine. It's not the first time Gladio's been asked out and certainly not the last, casual dating is the name of the game for someone who can't afford the luxury of settling down. He just wasn't expecting it from this guy. And it's too awkward to question it a second time. Gladio scrubs hard at the back of his neck and grimaces. ]
Sure, I guess. I'll uh... [ Why is he agreeing to this? Is it pity? Morbid interest?
Comedic value?] Be there in an hour.no subject
(it better be morbid curiosity, because if you tell him it's one or both of the other reasons, heads will roll.)
You're the first, so go easy on me. I'm so not an expert yet. Man, I just got kinda nervous.
(this is his first tour, after all.)
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS
He takes a shower, styles his hair. Puts on basically one of the three damn outfits he owns, all variations of grey or black and leather. A few push-ups to get his arms swole - YES THIS IS A THING. And just. Gets himself in the mood. ]
Oi, Suigetsu.
[ It's an hour later and Gladio's probably been pacing outside for a good 10 of those minutes, not sure if he should come in early. He opts for sliding in right on time to exude confidence. ]
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(he looks strangely normal, already standing by the entrance in a turquoise t-shirt complete with aquarium logo, a pair of jeans, and thong sandals, pointing through one of the windows on either side of the door.) You were walking around out there for a while, did you drop something? (still a ninja, still an expert at being a creep and watching someone nervously pace for ten minutes.
then it becomes clear that there's a fist-sized snail latched onto the back of suigetsu's hand, being casually motioned around while he speaks. there's too much going on here at once.)
I can help you look, if you didn't find it.
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Gladio stiffens up. DAMMIT, CAUGHT ]
Tch -- [ Give him a bit to come up with an excuse, any excuse. Scrubbing at the back of his neck, Gladio stares down at Suigetsu and should feel kinda good about the guy offering to look for his imaginary belongings, but instead he just feels annoyed. DON'T ASK. ]
Nah, I - uh - must've left it in my other pants. It's not a big deal.
[ Why did he agree to this. ]
...So, aquarium. [ Let's quickly pretend that never happened. ]
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(stupid is as stupid does; suigetsu doesn't suspect a thing. he simply turns on his heel and beckons his new student with a wave over his shoulder, setting off to the front desk.) Just wait while I check you in, then we'll head out, 'kay? (lets gladio get his bearings from that doozy of a first minute, picking up a pen to—
oh. right.)
Um, how do you spell your name? G-Gura... Guradi...
...
(writes "gdo".)
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But okay, this is fine. Gladio can trail after Suigetsu as he takes the lead, folding his arms over his chest as he looks around without actually registering anything - he's kind of still wondering what insanity went through his head that landed him here. So far there is a growing mountain of evidence suggesting insanity up to and including the laughably abbreviated entry in the guest book. ]
Seriously? [ This takes half-assed to an entirely new level. ] Gimme that.
[ Gladio reaches over for the pen to pluck it from his fingers and scribble down in English: Gladiolus Amicitia. ]
I know it's a mouthful but c'mon -- you didn't even try.
[ When he leaves him with the pen, he slaps it onto his palm - point away of course - and then aims a light poke in his side with his elbow to lighten his rebuke. ]
Has anyone told you your spelling sucks?
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grips the pen that's handed to him, thinking very seriously about sticking it into the side of gladio's neck. refrains, taking the elbow jab in the side like sasuke would, with patience and dignity and an outward exasperation.)
I didn't get chances to learn! It wasn't very high on my list of priorities, y'know, and It's not my fault your name's so damn long.
(slapping the pen on the desk before slapping a hand onto gladio's arm, trying to steer him away from the desk with a light shove.)
Your tour starts now, so be nice to me. Whaddaya wanna see first? Fish, amphibians, or mammals?
I'm so sorry....
...This is Suigetsu. Calm down. He's not going to stab you with that pen. He's harmless.
That's what Gladio tries to tell himself at least. Shaking off that nagging sense of unease and chalking it up to nerves going on a date that is entirely out of his usual, his element, he just... tries to get his head back in the game. Leans his arms against the counter and looks at him over his heavily inked shoulder and offers a warm smile. ]
Like anything else, it just takes practice.
[ Wait, wait, something's missing. Oh, right. A special touch - this is an opportunity he shouldn't shun just because he's not a girl with soft hair and doe eyes. Suigetsu wanted this to be just the two of them, right? Might as well make him feel - um.
Special. ]
You know... [ Gladio seizes the day, reaching out to grasp Suigetsu by the shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. ] If you ask nicely, I could give you a private lesson. [ WINK WONK. ]
Why don't we start with whatever exhibit is your favorite?
how did this happen
then removes his hand, unveiling just how deep the pen is digging in and staying there for the next person to happen upon, and removes himself with a sidestep and a walk off down the hall.)
Just what are you talking about? Spelling lessons, or something else? 'Cause your innuendo's falling pretty short, there. (his favourite is exhibit is very hard to place, but if he had to make a conscious choice...) C'mon then, before everything falls asleep. We'll head over to the shark tanks and you can even try to feed one if you want. It's about time for that.
(keeping his pace, but checking over his shoulder repeatedly here and there to make sure gladio is following and listening.)
Sharks have been around longer than humans have, so that alone should tell you how great they are. Kisame-senpai sacrificed his body and got eaten by a bunch of sharks. (who?) I wish I could go out like that, but it's a bit overdramatic.
gladio what did u do
Woah -- [ And just like that, Suigetsu is off like a gun, as if Gladio had inadvertently tripped some hair trigger. Strange is one thing, his looks alone qualify but Gladio's become now keenly aware that he's mistaken Suigetsu's awkward lack of social skills for flirtation and --
Yeah, Gladio's not used to this. ]
...Huh? [ This is the part where he's going to be struggling to keep up with Suigetsu, if only because the man seems utterly 'over' whatever set him off and continuing the tour. Gladio can feel sweat prickling at his neck and in his hair but despite a few alarm bells ringing in his head to abort mission, he jogs after him.
He's got to at least apologize, right? ]
Uh... don't tell me Kisame was another guest. [ Gladio attempts humor, but the lack of laughter even on his part betrays his caution. ]
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tmw gladdy finally realizes suigetsu's why the red bar at the top of the screen is active
ALERT, DO NOT ENGAGE
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