[ video | un: honeybadger ]

[honeybadgerer]

[ the feed opens up to a girl dressed in a bright tshirt and smiling broadly at her audience, waving her hand enthusiastically. there are prominent scar marks on her face. ]

Hi Riverview! My name's Gabby and I'm new here! I was in New York before. The one with the superheroes. And now I'm here! Unfortunately, I think I lost all my stuff? And my caseworker kind of freaked out when I gave her the list, so maybe you guys can help me!

I'm missing my MAC-10 machine pistols, nunchucks and knuckle busters. Anyone knows where to get those? Oh, and a proper bullet proof suit.

Thanks!

Comments

[honeybadgerer]

Yeah . . .

[ gabby trails off. she likes making friends but it's not the same. ]

[madeupnames]

[Peter's overly nice mode, activated.

... He hates seeing people looking even remotely down on themselves, okay.]

... Well, hey! You're invited to come over whenever. Just hit me up any time you're feeling weird about being alone... We can play Monster Wars? It's a pretty fun battling card-game thing like Yu-Gi-Oh. Or we can, uh. Watch bad movies. If you're into bad movie watching.

[honeybadgerer]

[ she smiles. ]

Take it easy. Yeah, those sound good. I mean, I've never played a card game.

[ though deadpool promised to teach her blackjack. with hookers. ]

[madeupnames]

Never? Never-never? Then I can definitely help with that.

[He grins.]

And it's something I can absolutely afford. Along with plenty of 99 cent liquor store candy.

[honeybadgerer]

Never ever ever.

[ gabby's the luckiest of all the clones, but that . . . doesn't say much. ]

I mean, Wade was gonna show me how to win at poker but we didn't get that far.

[madeupnames]

[He cocks his head to the side, unfamiliar with the name.]

Wade? Is he someone from Riverview?

[honeybadgerer]

No, he's a . . . [ . . . hero??? sure. why not. ] . . . superhero back in my world. He has a healing factor like me.

His name is Deadpool.

[madeupnames]

Kind of a scary name, for a superhero...

[He blinks at her, though, eyes round with curiosity.]

Healing factor? Like — you can heal a broken bone in a few days? That kinda healing?

[I HAVE THAT FACTOR LET'S BE FRIENDS.]

[honeybadgerer]

[ is it really?? ]

Yeah. I can heal from pretty much anything. Plus, I don't feel pain.

[madeupnames]

... Crazy... I —

I've never met someone who can just regenerate like that.

But what happens if you touch something hot? Do you, like, have a delayed reaction?

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby shakes her head. ]

No idea. I don't know what that feels like.

[madeupnames]

... Geez. You're hardcore.

[He's always surrounded by cool people, what the heck.]

Oh! Did you wanna — get going? Sorry, I've been distracting you with dogs...

[honeybadgerer]

Dogs are never a distraction.

So where to?

[madeupnames]

[Oh, right! Their mission! He claps his hands together, smiling.]

Convenience store, two blocks from here. Best cheap snacks in the city.

Operation Gross Snack Combinations is a-go.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby flashes a thumbs up. ]

We are gonna go for all the combos.

[madeupnames]

[He starts walking that direction, gesturing eagerly.]

Cheetos and root beer? A twinkie-peanut butter sandwich? Candy powder on chips?

[honeybadgerer]

All of those sound terrible, but amazing.

[ good thing gabby's tastebuds are so-so. ]

[madeupnames]

Terrible and amazing in the same sentence? Sign me up!

[He's walking a bit more confidently, smiling.]

Then we can trademark some of the creations and sell them on street corners.

[That was a joke, he swears. But still. A great visual.]

[honeybadgerer]

I mean. We could probably pull it off.

[ is it a joke though. is it. ]

[madeupnames]

[oh great now he's earnest]

You think so???

[honeybadgerer]

Well, yeah. Not everyone's going to know about this stuff. It could easily make a lot of money.

[madeupnames]

That's true. And, like, sometimes people really love weird hybrids of stuff. Right?

[honeybadgerer]

Exactly!

[ she flashes him a grin. ]

With all these different people around, it could easily be a market.

[madeupnames]

[He holds out a fist for a fistbump, like the big nerd he is.]

Sounds like a perfect crime; I'm game for it!

[honeybadgerer]

[ this is exactly the kind of nerd she is. ]

Great! Now we just gotta plan it right.