[ video | un: honeybadger ]

[honeybadgerer]

[ the feed opens up to a girl dressed in a bright tshirt and smiling broadly at her audience, waving her hand enthusiastically. there are prominent scar marks on her face. ]

Hi Riverview! My name's Gabby and I'm new here! I was in New York before. The one with the superheroes. And now I'm here! Unfortunately, I think I lost all my stuff? And my caseworker kind of freaked out when I gave her the list, so maybe you guys can help me!

I'm missing my MAC-10 machine pistols, nunchucks and knuckle busters. Anyone knows where to get those? Oh, and a proper bullet proof suit.

Thanks!

Comments

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Let's not go with the guns, Gabby. Superheroes shouldn't use them, anyways.

[The nunchucks and knuckle dusters don't even rate a second thought. Considering some of the things other superheroes carry around, they're extremely tame.]

Plus, your caseworker would probably just take them away. So there's multiple reasons not to.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby frowns. laura's never complained about her guns before, though she's never encouraged them. and having guns feels . . . safer. ]

I'll just hide them well. Why shouldn't I have guns? It's not like I don't know how to use them.

[partiallysquirrelblood]

It's super easy to kill someone with them, even if you're not actually trying to. Nobody's aim is that good 100% of the time, except maybe Bullseye's? And he's usually trying to do the exact opposite of not killing someone.

[honeybadgerer]

[ that's true. gabby isn't sold but squirrel girl is a friend, so gabby's more inclined to believe her. ]

Okay. I guess I can pass on the guns.

[buildsomething]

Uh.

[ Well that's a hell of a list. Tony can't help scratching the side of his head as he thinks. ]

I could probably manage the body armor. Not sure about the rest.

[honeybadgerer]

Hey, Mr. Stark!

Uhh, it needs to be pretty thin so I can move around in it.

[buildsomething]

...hi? Have we met?

[ Squint. ]

Is this more alternate universe stuff?

[honeybadgerer]

Alternate universe? Oh wait.

. . . Yeah you have more wrinkles. My bad. Are you from a crazy dystopia verse? Do you have zombies?

audio un:pnwsalex

[11calls]

I'm afraid I don't know where you can get that stuff, but I also don't know if you need it here, unless you're working with the Guard.

[honeybadgerer]

I feel better having my stuff.

[11calls]

I don't blame you, but we're not exactly a war zone here.

[honeybadgerer]

[ maybe but — ]

Didn't you guys all get kidnapped a month ago?

video; @chronicler

[scholiast]

(Of course there's the obvious question of why a child needs a machine pistol, nunchucks, and knuckle busters but... well, it's not the weirdest thing Lucretia's ever encountered, so she's willing to work with it for now.)

I'm not entirely sure about the weapons... I suppose you could, uh, purchase them but– I know somebody who makes superhero suits. I'm sure he takes commission; I could point you in his direction.

[honeybadgerer]

Is it really expensive? I don't have a lot of money on me right now.

[scholiast]

(hmm)

I'm not entirely sure.

You could always ask him for a quote. Also, he's a very nice person and genuinely likes to make suits for fun, so if you really pushed the whole 'helpless, young superhero' angle he'd probably do it for free.

[honeybadgerer]

Sweet, I'm two out of three!

[ gabby's never been helpless after all. ]

Should I push the helpless thing harder?

video, @r.lynch

[somnioergosum]

[Ronan's look is about as flat as his voice.]

Do you want a tank with that?

[honeybadgerer]

[ she doesn't notice. ]

Nope. I don't know how to drive.

[somnioergosum]

Since when is that a requirement?

Video | @p.parker

[madeupnames]

Is there any concerning reason you need that kinda stuff? You're not in trouble or anything, right?

[The kids who show up here, he swears!

... Forget that she's around his age.]

I mean, I promise we're not a Mad Max wasteland here. We've got water and AC, and a distinct lack of a Thunderdome.

[honeybadgerer]

Can you promise that? Can you.

[ she's a special brand of kid. ]

And I want them because they makes me feel safer.

[madeupnames]

I'm pretty sure I can promise we won't go full Mad Max here. And if we do, I'd totally get myself killed like most of the population in that movie, soooo I don't have to feel bad about breaking said promise.

[He's a special brand of goober, it works out.]

I've got some pepper spray, if you want some? Like, the kind that... looks suspiciously like spray candy? It's a kid's worst nightmare, when your mom forgets to put it up and you find it on the coffee table.

video; @c.silva

[childofaxios]

Have you considered joining the Perimeter Guard's cadet corps? You would at least be able to use the firing range.

[ With supervision, but Chyler's not gonna mention that at the top. ]

[honeybadgerer]

Really? That's open for kids?

[childofaxios]

There are youth programs, yes. Prep for entering the Guard proper, which not everyone necessarily needs, but it's their compromise between enlisting kids and not allowing them in to the Guard at all.