[ video | un: honeybadger ]

[honeybadgerer]

[ the feed opens up to a girl dressed in a bright tshirt and smiling broadly at her audience, waving her hand enthusiastically. there are prominent scar marks on her face. ]

Hi Riverview! My name's Gabby and I'm new here! I was in New York before. The one with the superheroes. And now I'm here! Unfortunately, I think I lost all my stuff? And my caseworker kind of freaked out when I gave her the list, so maybe you guys can help me!

I'm missing my MAC-10 machine pistols, nunchucks and knuckle busters. Anyone knows where to get those? Oh, and a proper bullet proof suit.

Thanks!

Comments

[madeupnames]

I'm pretty sure I can promise we won't go full Mad Max here. And if we do, I'd totally get myself killed like most of the population in that movie, soooo I don't have to feel bad about breaking said promise.

[He's a special brand of goober, it works out.]

I've got some pepper spray, if you want some? Like, the kind that... looks suspiciously like spray candy? It's a kid's worst nightmare, when your mom forgets to put it up and you find it on the coffee table.

[honeybadgerer]

I have no clue what moms do. Or what coffee tables look like.

And pepper's spray's good but it's not the same.

[madeupnames]

Oh! Well... [He feels a little bad for her, that she doesn't know. But Peter's nothing if not helpful! Or tries to be.] Moms take care of you. Unless they're crappy moms, but that's the general idea, you know? But it doesn't have to be a biological mom. Like... my aunt has been taking care of me for a long time now.

[It's definitely weird, to call someone your aunt and mom at once. When he was younger, they tried 'mom and dad' and it just didn't... feel right. But there's no doubt, that's what Ben and her were, at the end of the day. Even if he does remember his parents a little.]

And way to break pepper spray's heart! It tries its best.

[honeybadgerer]

[ she doesn't. gabby knows laura had a mother that she loved dearly. who read to her, gave her a last name, nurtured her life even when it was steadily robbed from her. gabby still has that last name "kinney".

but it's not something gabby misses or thinks about. ]

I have a sister. That's good enough for me.

Pepper spray's cool, but it doesn't really strike fear into the hearts of others. And I'm the fear-strikey type. In moderation.

[madeupnames]

Sisters are totally fine in place of moms, too.

I mean, I've always wanted a sibling, so that's really cool that you have one.

[He rubs his chin.]

What about tasers?

[Less murderous, but not as bad as pepper spray. You see a pattern here?]

[honeybadgerer]

Well, I'm her clone.

[ HMmmmm. ]

I guess tasers are acceptable. Kinda.

[madeupnames]

... Oh. I guess that makes you guys even more intense sisters. You're practically each other, in a lot of ways.

[Is that rude to say? He's not sure, he's never talked to a clone. This is weird.]

I think we can get you a taser! That is, I'm sure I can find a place that sells some...

[honeybadgerer]

Really?

Space sells tasers?

[madeupnames]

Maybe they're cool ones with rainbow lightning.

... Wouldn't that be awesome? Zapping a bad dude with a rainbow?

[honeybadgerer]

That would be the best taser ever.

[ gabby loves rainbows. ]

[madeupnames]

Right? Maybe we should look into this.

We've got wizards in this town, I bet they could do it.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby makes a face. ]

No wizards. The last one I met kept horrors in his cupboard. And was a terrible decorator.

1/2

[madeupnames]

[madeupnames]

Are you talking about Dr. Strange?

[honeybadgerer]

Yeah, him! Laura took us there to meet him.

Piece of advice: Don't go for doctor advice from a guy who keeps tentacle monsters in his closet.

[madeupnames]

Oh yeaaaah. I totally got a tour around the sanctum, and it's — really something.

But nothing bad happened!

[honeybadgerer]

[ the voice of a girl who is dead inside. ]

That time.

[madeupnames]

... Never a dull moment?

[honeybadgerer]

I wouldn't even know what those look like, okay.

Did you know I was an alien queen once? Totally gross.

[madeupnames]

Really? I've met some pretty cool aliens here, but I dunno if I've met an alien queen yet!

What was she like?

[honeybadgerer]

They were bug aliens.

Wanted me to lay eggs and take over the universe.

[madeupnames]

Oh. Wow. That's... less cool. Not cool at all.

Sounds uncomfortable.

What happened with them, then?

[honeybadgerer]

It was very uncool.

[ she hated it. ]

We got rid of them. Laura, me and the Guardians.

[madeupnames]

[Ah. He smiles a little, feeling a twist in his gut.]

The Guardians?

Do they happen to guard the galaxy?

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby opens her mouth to say yeah of course but then she scrunches it up, unsure. ]

I guess?

I've never seen the Avengers avenge so it's kinda hard to tell.