[ video | un: honeybadger ]

[honeybadgerer]

[ the feed opens up to a girl dressed in a bright tshirt and smiling broadly at her audience, waving her hand enthusiastically. there are prominent scar marks on her face. ]

Hi Riverview! My name's Gabby and I'm new here! I was in New York before. The one with the superheroes. And now I'm here! Unfortunately, I think I lost all my stuff? And my caseworker kind of freaked out when I gave her the list, so maybe you guys can help me!

I'm missing my MAC-10 machine pistols, nunchucks and knuckle busters. Anyone knows where to get those? Oh, and a proper bullet proof suit.

Thanks!

Comments

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Let's not go with the guns, Gabby. Superheroes shouldn't use them, anyways.

[The nunchucks and knuckle dusters don't even rate a second thought. Considering some of the things other superheroes carry around, they're extremely tame.]

Plus, your caseworker would probably just take them away. So there's multiple reasons not to.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby frowns. laura's never complained about her guns before, though she's never encouraged them. and having guns feels . . . safer. ]

I'll just hide them well. Why shouldn't I have guns? It's not like I don't know how to use them.

[partiallysquirrelblood]

It's super easy to kill someone with them, even if you're not actually trying to. Nobody's aim is that good 100% of the time, except maybe Bullseye's? And he's usually trying to do the exact opposite of not killing someone.

[honeybadgerer]

[ that's true. gabby isn't sold but squirrel girl is a friend, so gabby's more inclined to believe her. ]

Okay. I guess I can pass on the guns.

[buildsomething]

Uh.

[ Well that's a hell of a list. Tony can't help scratching the side of his head as he thinks. ]

I could probably manage the body armor. Not sure about the rest.

audio un:pnwsalex

[11calls]

I'm afraid I don't know where you can get that stuff, but I also don't know if you need it here, unless you're working with the Guard.

[honeybadgerer]

Hey, Mr. Stark!

Uhh, it needs to be pretty thin so I can move around in it.

[honeybadgerer]

I feel better having my stuff.

[buildsomething]

...hi? Have we met?

[ Squint. ]

Is this more alternate universe stuff?

[11calls]

I don't blame you, but we're not exactly a war zone here.

[honeybadgerer]

[ maybe but — ]

Didn't you guys all get kidnapped a month ago?

[honeybadgerer]

Alternate universe? Oh wait.

. . . Yeah you have more wrinkles. My bad. Are you from a crazy dystopia verse? Do you have zombies?

[buildsomething]

[ She gets a nicely dry look for that. Everyone's always got to bring up the age thing. ]

No zombies. And no dystopia, as far as I know.

[honeybadgerer]

Awesome, keep it that way.

[ dystopias are bad. ]

So I need a suit that's breathable. Which rules kevlar out. And I can draw rainbows on it.

video; @chronicler

[scholiast]

(Of course there's the obvious question of why a child needs a machine pistol, nunchucks, and knuckle busters but... well, it's not the weirdest thing Lucretia's ever encountered, so she's willing to work with it for now.)

I'm not entirely sure about the weapons... I suppose you could, uh, purchase them but– I know somebody who makes superhero suits. I'm sure he takes commission; I could point you in his direction.

[honeybadgerer]

Is it really expensive? I don't have a lot of money on me right now.

[scholiast]

(hmm)

I'm not entirely sure.

You could always ask him for a quote. Also, he's a very nice person and genuinely likes to make suits for fun, so if you really pushed the whole 'helpless, young superhero' angle he'd probably do it for free.

[honeybadgerer]

Sweet, I'm two out of three!

[ gabby's never been helpless after all. ]

Should I push the helpless thing harder?

[scholiast]

(Lucretia, propping her elbow up on her desk, hides her smile behind her knuckles.)

Sure, it couldn't hurt. Do you know how to act like that? (She seems very confident.)

[honeybadgerer]

[ oh. damn, gabby has no idea. ]

Fainting?

Or I could cut off a finger. That'd make me look semi-helpless right?

[scholiast]

(Woah woah woah there! Lucretia raises both her hands, palms out,) oh, uh–

No, that's a little extreme. You absolutely do not have to go to those kinds of lengths.

You could always cry?

[honeybadgerer]

But crying's hard.

[ gabby's cried once in a life. maybe twice??? ]

It's easier to lose a finger.

[scholiast]

... What interesting priorities.

Please, don't cut anything off. (She won't be responsible for this!) But why is it easy to lose a finger? That would hurt a lot more than forcing yourself to cry.

[honeybadgerer]

I don't feel pain. Plus, my fingers grow back.

[ she had given one to deadpool for that reason. ]

[scholiast]

Oh.

(what)

Well you, uh– probably don't need to cry, or cut anything off to be pitiful. You could simply look upset, and stress that you have no other options available to you. That would work just as well.