The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (
partiallysquirrelblood) wrote in
riverview2018-08-05 05:11 am
[video | un: unbeatablesg]
[The video starts, showing a young woman with a bright bucktoothed grin, wearing a squirrel ear headband. There's a squirrel in a pink bow riding on her shoulder.]
Hey there Riverview. I'm Doreen Green. Also the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Normally, there's kind of a whole secret identity deal? But between showing up in costume and all the scans it...didn't seem really like it would work out here.
This is Tippy-Toe [The squirrel hops off Doreen's shoulder so the camera can get a better look at her.] She's my best squirrel friend and also the most awesome squirrel on this or any other planet. This is absolutely true, and I won't hear anyone say otherwise.
...well technically I will, since it's not like I'll suddenly go deaf if someone does say otherwise. I'm just going to ignore them.
Hey there Riverview. I'm Doreen Green. Also the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Normally, there's kind of a whole secret identity deal? But between showing up in costume and all the scans it...didn't seem really like it would work out here.
This is Tippy-Toe [The squirrel hops off Doreen's shoulder so the camera can get a better look at her.] She's my best squirrel friend and also the most awesome squirrel on this or any other planet. This is absolutely true, and I won't hear anyone say otherwise.
...well technically I will, since it's not like I'll suddenly go deaf if someone does say otherwise. I'm just going to ignore them.

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I beat up Doctor Doom twice, I beat up Deadpool twice, I once beat up the Avengers when they were brainwashed...
Oh, and I took down Thanos one time. He's this big purple alien who's got this whole thing for universal genocide, so he definitely deserved it.
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[what the fuck]
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He didn't have the glove, though. Talked a big game about it, but he wasn't wearing it. Considering what he does when he *does* have it, there's no way I could've beaten him by myself if he did. Not without a *massive* amount of help.
un: LOKIOFASGARD
Doreen Green is legit, Sam! Also, her companion Nancy Whitehead shares this Ultra Hip status.
Re: un: LOKIOFASGARD
[Because if there's one thing Loki and Squirrel Girl agree on, it's that Nancy is awesome and everyone should know it.]
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[Because, again, Nancy was awesome and everyone should know it.]
Chipmunk Hunk, Koi Boi, and Brain Drain aren't here either. It's just Tippy-Toe and me.
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If you beat him up, does that make you the strongest hero in the universe?!
[ HE'LL BELIEVE IT. JUST BECAUSE OF THE CATCHPHRASE. ]
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You are way funnier and more interesting so I'm glad you're here!