[video | un: unbeatablesg]

[partiallysquirrelblood]

[The video starts, showing a young woman with a bright bucktoothed grin, wearing a squirrel ear headband. There's a squirrel in a pink bow riding on her shoulder.]

Hey there Riverview. I'm Doreen Green. Also the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Normally, there's kind of a whole secret identity deal? But between showing up in costume and all the scans it...didn't seem really like it would work out here.

This is Tippy-Toe [The squirrel hops off Doreen's shoulder so the camera can get a better look at her.] She's my best squirrel friend and also the most awesome squirrel on this or any other planet. This is absolutely true, and I won't hear anyone say otherwise.

...well technically I will, since it's not like I'll suddenly go deaf if someone does say otherwise. I'm just going to ignore them.

Comments

Re: audio, un: s.uris

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Punching criminals in the face with metaphorical fists made of carefully constructed arguments that teach them to reconsider the life choices that led them to a life of crime in the first place.

Also punching criminals in the face with actual fists.

[stantheman]

Oh. So you're good at that then?

Why'd you decide to start punching people?

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Usually because it helps people who aren't criminals, or megalomaniacal interstellar supervillains, or actual Nazis from World War II.

[stantheman]

Actual nazis...? How?

[partiallysquirrelblood]

Lots of ways? Suspended animation, cloning, immortality serums, mind transferrence...

It's not quite as bad as it sounds. It's horrible that they're still hurting and killing people, but plenty of the people who originally fought them are still running around too.

[stantheman]

Oh...

[ Well, that’s unsettling for so many reasons and not just because he’s Jewish. ]

Well, I guess that’s a good reason to punch someone or whatever.