Peter Parker (
madeupnames) wrote in
riverview2018-08-12 03:25 am
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Video | HAPPY... LATE... BIRTHDAY??? | @p.parker
[The feed is mostly full of textbooks, the spines all turned enough that they're legible; it's math, chemistry, social studies, all the fun things nobody misses from high school. And on the right side of the screen is Peter, sitting with his cheek on his palm and his elbow pressed beside a blank page of paper. He looks kind of sleepy, like he'd just nod off if he didn't have the feed to focus on.]
So I've got this essay I need to write by tomorrow, and I'm having a hard time getting — personal, and all that. The prompt's asking about what inspires you, specifically. [He looks to read it word-for-word:] 'What motivates you in your day to day life?' And I mean, I've got a lot of motivations, but trying to put it to paper is giving me a wicked case of the fogbrain.
[He tucks his pen under his nose, holding it with his upper lip for a moment before letting it fall pitifully to the table. He sighs.]
What motivates you guys? Into doing what you do? What makes you put your shoes on in the morning, huh?
And don't just say 'to avoid stepping on pointy stuff barefoot'. That's a cheap and obvious answer—
[Peter startles violently as birthday music blares behind him, so much so that his pencil goes flying through the air and RIP's somewhere off-screen. Pam the pancake making robot seems to be flying onto the scene in the background with freshly made pancakes and festive lights blinking all over her.

A little lighter arm pops out, preparing to light a lone candle on the stack of flapjacks.
Peter mutters, mortified:]
...I thought I disabled Birthday Mode for repairs...
[He looks back at the robot with his hand pressed to his temple, and clears his throat.]

... Pam, uh. My - my birthday was two days ago. Two days. It's August 10th. And, uh, it's... it's the 12th now.
[Peter watches as the AI seems to try to process this, tapping his finger on the table and thinning his lips at the awkward silence. Pam's little plate-holding robo-arms lower slightly, the generic birthday MIDI file slowing to a depressive stop as the party-themed lights and lighter are shut off together. A pause of nothing. Then she turns and dejectedly wheels away into the community kitchen with her plate of pancakes.]
Wait, Pam — Aw, c’mon, I can still eat them! Hey—
[Peter drops his arms.

... Note to self, fix her internal clock...]
So I've got this essay I need to write by tomorrow, and I'm having a hard time getting — personal, and all that. The prompt's asking about what inspires you, specifically. [He looks to read it word-for-word:] 'What motivates you in your day to day life?' And I mean, I've got a lot of motivations, but trying to put it to paper is giving me a wicked case of the fogbrain.
[He tucks his pen under his nose, holding it with his upper lip for a moment before letting it fall pitifully to the table. He sighs.]
What motivates you guys? Into doing what you do? What makes you put your shoes on in the morning, huh?
And don't just say 'to avoid stepping on pointy stuff barefoot'. That's a cheap and obvious answer—
[Peter startles violently as birthday music blares behind him, so much so that his pencil goes flying through the air and RIP's somewhere off-screen. Pam the pancake making robot seems to be flying onto the scene in the background with freshly made pancakes and festive lights blinking all over her.

A little lighter arm pops out, preparing to light a lone candle on the stack of flapjacks.
Peter mutters, mortified:]
...I thought I disabled Birthday Mode for repairs...
[He looks back at the robot with his hand pressed to his temple, and clears his throat.]
... Pam, uh. My - my birthday was two days ago. Two days. It's August 10th. And, uh, it's... it's the 12th now.
[Peter watches as the AI seems to try to process this, tapping his finger on the table and thinning his lips at the awkward silence. Pam's little plate-holding robo-arms lower slightly, the generic birthday MIDI file slowing to a depressive stop as the party-themed lights and lighter are shut off together. A pause of nothing. Then she turns and dejectedly wheels away into the community kitchen with her plate of pancakes.]
Wait, Pam — Aw, c’mon, I can still eat them! Hey—
[Peter drops his arms.

... Note to self, fix her internal clock...]
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So this is where Peter Parker lives! Hehe! Everything looks as young as you!
[ He turns around, and gestures at the cake box with a sleeve. ]
Yeah! I don't remember if you ever told me your age so I bought at least a double dozen candles! You can use the leftover ones for when the power goes out?
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Lord help him. He laughs a little.]
Gee, thanks.
I'm sixteen, but I wouldn't be against just lighting them all and pretending I'm super old.
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[ He flops on Peter's bed without a prompt, testing how bouncy it is. ]
Where's Pam-chan? If you didn't hug her earlier, then I want to!
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[Are you sure you're not still sixteen, lbr Jyushi.]
And don't worry, I made up with her. I wouldn't recommend hugging her, though; you'll get your clothes stuck in the gears or something. Eating what she makes is how to get her happy, though.
[Or however she feels. He's not very good at telling what is robotic and what is maybe thriving humanisms through the advanced tech in Riverview... H-ha.]
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Did you eat all of her pancakes eventually? [ He sounds a bit stern. ] She may have been off mark but she's a sweet and caring robot that deserves happiness too!
[ After meeting Connor and Markus, his care for robotic individuals has ridiculously expanded. They might as well be perfectly human to him. ]
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[He flops down on the bed butt-first. His little area is pretty cute and nerdy — comic books are all over his pillow, and his dresser is lined with nice shoes and coupons to cafes and text books for school.]
I guess that makes her a success though, right?
Oh! Maybe I can move her to a diner sometimes for work. I bet she'd flourish there.
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Her pancake skills might get her somewhere high if you let her shine! If Pam-chan loves making them so much it'd only benefit the community and herself if something can be managed! Imagine opening a pancake business!
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That's true...! I was also thinking of maybe programming new things for her to make. Like omelettes?
Or hey, cake.
[Since we've got one of those, haaaa.]
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[ Somehow he can still have a conversation while his eyes are frantically shifting over the comic book pages. ]
You can program her to make more than one type of cake, can't you?
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... Admittedly, I'm, um. I'm still pretty inexperienced, so making multiple functions is gonna be... new.
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[ He loves Pam and as his creator you've got his respect multiplied tenfold. ]
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I wouldn't be too sure.
... But since you're putting your faith in me, I guess I just gotta try my best to prove you right?
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[ He probably should get a degree in Praising at this rate. ]
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To be fair, I've almost set a few things on fire before. What's a good experiment without a few hiccups?
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[ They're so different. He gave up, and that's why he became a NEET. But he can still help youngsters like Peter find their ways to success with his weird pep talks. ]
I trust that you won't set Pam-chan on fire if you run into some fails!
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Sometimes not giving up can be a problem. But in this case — I'll say I definitely won't.
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[ He tosses the comic aside and abruptly stands up, flexing his arms without prompt whatsoever. ]
Hustle, hustle! Muscle, muscle! Come on now Peter, open up the cake! I want a slice! I'm getting hungry!
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[But he pops open the box, anyways — how's it look, Jyushi? Is it a safely transferred cake?
.... There aren't any weird designs on it, are there?]
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[ Fortunately for Peter, it's not something alien at all! Jyushimatsu bought the cake in a hurry and so it's got a pretty plain design, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER haphazardly scribbled with frosting, and a bunch of blue and red candles on the side, ready to be used.
Jyushimatsu hums, looking at it with slight disappointment. ]
Should have made it a baseball theme... [ He would have stuffed a whole fucking baseball in it tbh. ]
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[He smiles, holding up the packaged candles.]
Think about the positives, right? At least it's a cake and not a piranha trap. Or Ghost Shark.
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... I wouldn't say no to a cool shark cake, honestly.
... Maybe shark cookies.
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[ HE NEVER HALF-ASSES ANYTHING BRO. ]
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Right. Or we can do it for your birthday? Tit for tat?
[He pokes a candle into the cake, looking pleased.]
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Wah! That works too! I'd loooove to have a shark themed birthday, but also with baseball!
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