video; username: spiderman

[madeupnames]

[Ah, look there! It's Spider-Man! He's filming... sideways? Oh, wait, he's standing on a brick wall sideways. That explains it.

His eyes are squinty and peeved, and his arms are crossed — who needs to hold the phone for recording when you've got webs to do that?

Anyway. He's peeved.]

Uuum, just FYI? Graffiti is 100% not cool. I mean, some of it is cool if you get a permit or you're actually any good at drawing —

Point is, don't gross up someone's wall with your bad artwork or some signature a bank teller wouldn't even take.

Also, how dare you use my creepy disfigured twin against me.

[What? Oh, look, he's turning the camera to show — oh dear god.]



[OH DEAR GOOOOOOD]

... I gotta say, The Arachnid really let himself go. And lost his neck in a tragic head-on collision with a building. Yikes.

And the Hulk should probably hit a dentist ASAP, but I'm loving what he's doing with the half-cut shirt.

Really brings out his... green... everything. 

[He rubs his chin.]

... You know, I'm just assuming that's the Hulk, but for all I know the guy who did it didn't have skin tones. Maybe he's just angry and sick.

Comments

[honeybadgerer]

I haven't seen that many movies. It wasn't really considered education for killing machines.

But I know about it through the internet?

[madeupnames]

... I beg your pardon?

[WHAT IS WITH ALL THE SCARY CHILDHOODS AROUND HERE]

[honeybadgerer]

[ wow there's no need to be dramatic. ]

Which part?

[madeupnames]

I - that. Nothing! Nevermind!

But are you alright? You're not still getting that kind of 'education' back home, are you?

[He sounds SO CONCERNED.]

[honeybadgerer]

No, I got out a while ago.

Are you okay?

[ be cool about this. ]

[madeupnames]

I'm great! I just — you know. I wanna make sure you're safe and okay. And all that.

... You don't have to be anything people try to force on you, is all.

[Especially not a killing machine.]

[honeybadgerer]

Thanks, mom, but I'm pretty sure I know that.

[madeupnames]

Wow, don't sass back Spider-Mom like that!

You're grounded. No airtime for you.

[honeybadgerer]

I can sass whoever I want, Spider-Mom. I'm unstoppable.

[madeupnames]

Oh man, I'll have to call up Dr. Phil on this one.

My rambunctious daughter is out of control!

... Wait, no, I'm too young to have a daughter. You cut that out.

[honeybadgerer]

Actually, you could probably have one any time.

That's the miracle of science. I'm a test tube baby, after all.

[madeupnames]

... Still too young to have a kid. But it's good to know I've got options?

[What the heck.]

You seem like you've led a pretty wild life up 'til now.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby shrugs. ]

Your wild is my normal.

[madeupnames]

Considering my biggest issues a few years ago were asthma and getting a B on a test, I'd say so.

[honeybadgerer]

Yeah, my biggest problem a year ago was trying not to die.

Probably still is, to be honest.

[madeupnames]

I guess to be fair, a year ago wasn't such a hot time for me, either...

[Spider-Man, don't go getting into depressing topics.]

But hey! We're doing pretty awesome here, right?

[honeybadgerer]

I mean, I just got here. I'm still working up to it.

[ she likes it but it's very quiet by her standards. ]

[madeupnames]

Oh, right. New blood. I guess I'm kinda new still, too. It's been... three months? Four?

I guess I'm at least getting pretty used to where everything is. It helps when you're on top of buildings, though.

[honeybadgerer]

Does it though? Wouldn't it be disorienting when you hit ground level and have to find your way around?

[madeupnames]

Oh, nah! I mingle a lot down on the ground floor, too.

How am I supposed to buy doughnuts if I'm thirty stories up on a window?

[Priorities.]

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby grins. ]

Careful with the donuts, it's why you got such a figure on the wall.

[madeupnames]

Hey, super metabolism has been a power of mine since birth!

So basically I'm saying challenge accepted, I'm gonna buy even more doughnuts now.

[honeybadgerer]

Super metabolism is so not your power.

This is why you get plump in graffiti.

[madeupnames]

Then you've clearly never seen the rail-thin kid in my childhood photos.

.....

... Which makes sense that you haven't.

Secret identity, no one must know my deep dark secrets, etc. etc.

[honeybadgerer]

[ hmm. gabby mulls on this. she briefly met peter parker (on her world) but not long enough to make a lasting impression. ]

You have those?