riverview | Seventh (lack of) sleep note. A picture and later a post.

[The post that appears first is a picture of poor Cameron Waltz from the Arts party. Where he's crying after his fantastic boyfriend Jeff has just serenaded him in public. Anyone who knows Alex knows that she's not the person who would put it up, and as soon as someone mentions it to her, it comes down and is instead replaced with an audio post.]

Yeah, sorry about that. [She assumes people 1. know that she wasn't the one who did it and 2. that the person who did it is gonna hear holy hell for it. Hear holy hell and also do penance which is what the rest of this post is about.]

While I've been living in America since college, I'm definitely a Canadian at heart. And in Canada, we have a proper Thanksgiving Holiday while America is celebrating Columbus day. [Yeah, the distaste in her voice for that "holiday" is totally palpable.] And before anyone makes a crack about copying America, our Thanksgiving started in 1578 and was made an official government holiday in 1879. For Americans playing along at home, that's 50 years before Plymouth Rock, and something like 90 before it became a federal holiday in America.

So, I'm inviting people to stop by tomorrow for turkey and stuffing and all the stuff that goes along with a proper Canadian Thanksgiving. We're not going to do a sit down dinner, not really, given that it's a Monday, but we're gonna have food and proper pumpkin pie which is not custardy and Nanaimo bars which are. I'm making them. I'm making them right now actually but don't worry, I've been making them since I was like ten. It's the only thing I can make other than coffee.

[Literally the only thing, because Alex burns toast.]

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I was. Though I did not understand what I was looking at, or the [ Beat. ] discussion that ensued.

In my world I’m a reporter. Just like here. Only I’m working on one serialized story and that story was about a paranormal investigator who doesn’t believe in the paranormal and offers a million dollar prize for actual proof of it. Proof that has to follow all of the rules of the scientific method.

But proof isn’t something from witnesses or on video because those can be manipulated. And there’s a lot more too it that I can’t get into.

But the man that we’re fighting, Warren he believes in it. All of it. And he’s the one who sent me the tape of someone in my bedroom and the demon even if we can’t prove it.

Because of just everything that surrounds his life, Richard doesn’t trust people. Hell it took him a year to trust me practically. I don't blame him for it, if anyone's needed to deal with he has, had to lose what he did...

[Alex just sighs.] So he tries to keep his distance and my guess is that’s what he’s doing right now.

And it’s stupid and it sucks. And it's not even going to work.

[ Harry considers this, then, cautiously: ]

Our captain, Francis Crozier...

He—there was a very dark period, you see, after our expedition's commander, Sir John Franklin, was killed. Captain Crozier became by succession commander of the expedition, but he—I can only speculate, but I think he felt himself unready, that the expedition sailed under an ill omen, and on top of that he...

Well. Suffice it to say that Terror's whisky stores were depleted rather sooner than might be considered reasonable.

But he realised, eventually, that he could not keep his troubles at bay thus, and that he could not keep driving away those men who wished to help him. And it was thus—the need to pass through the darkest of valleys—that he became the captain who I was glad to follow.

[ A pause. ]

And for whom I hope I gave a fighting chance.

I—I do not know if this helps you, or if it is even truly relevant to the situation at hand with Richard, but ... it is the first thing that came to mind, for me.

[Alex is clearly thinking, and she's frowning even as she absently melts the butter and the chocolate in the pain.]

No, I think it is relevant, actually. See, there's this thing coming up, sometime in our future, when we go home. A place we're supposed to go. A place Warren wants us to go, honestly. To the point where I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't something that needed to be our choice to go, we'd already be there.

[For example say the night that demon was in her bedroom.]

But it's dangerous. Very dangerous, I think. And when we were out in the woods, the things there revealed our fears. I'm afraid I'm going to die in Geneva, honestly. For a lot of reasons, but one of them is because I'm sure that Richard would do anything that he could to save me. And that's what scares me the most. That they'd kill me to do something that...

[She just takes a deep breath and sighs.]

It doesn't matter. If Riverview was larger, I'm pretty sure he'd be withdrawing from me right now anyway. More than he already is.

[ Harry wishes he was talking to Alex in person so that he could give her a hug. He resolves to do so the next time he sees her. ]

He protects himself by pretending not to care, when he cares more deeply than he can fathom. Which is no consolation to you, of course.

For Crozier it took a terrible shock to wake him to himself. I hope it does not come to that for Richard.

I know he does, and I know he always has. Unfortunately, this is the result of a shock and some terrible things that are his story and not mine. But I ended up working my way in and breaking down some of his walls and he became friendly with people and now because of what may happen, he's pulling that armor on stronger than ever.

And now those stupid things told him I know I'm going to die, which I don't. So he's trying to brace for that too.

It's stupid and him trying to be logical: if he pulls away from everyone then they can't hurt him and they're not in danger because of him. He's... God, I wish I could punch Warren again.

[And Howard Strand too.]

I follow his logic—but it is a very lonely logic.

I am sorry that you are being subjected to this, Alex. I wish I could help.

Richard is normally a very lonely man. He thinks it protects him. He's an idiot like that.

But honestly? [ ]Thanks. Just letting me talk about it is helping. I used to do nothing but talk about it with my show but I haven’t been able to do that here.

I'm glad I can do this much, at least.

Shall I let you get back to your task? I'll see you soon, in any case.

Yeah. I know I said I can make them, but I think this is the third time I've started them.

I am a terrible cook, Harry.

You cannot be any worse than me. It is quite physically impossible.

But I'll let you return your attention to it, and I shall see you soon.

I did almost set fire to the house three times while making toast once. But I'll see you tomorrow!

[Sorry, Harry, Alex is just gonna assume you're showing up to eat her anger baking.]

Seventh (lack of) sleep note. A picture and later a post.

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