Video; Sleep Deprivation

[ragnarsson]

[The video shows Ivar looking a little rumpled, the look of someone who has been trying to sleep and can't. He's cleaning out grime from under his fingernails with one of his knives as he speaks and it occasionally flashes into view.

Oddly enough, he's smiling, his eyes just a little too bright. It's not a happy smile. When Ivar gets angry, sometimes, he smiles in a way that says he's going to rip your throat out with his teeth if you get too close. His tone sounds oddly cheerful as he speaks.]

To whoever is making that horrible racket that's keeping me awake, you have two options. Stop it. [Then his voice goes dark and furious.] Or I'll stop it. Trust me when I say my way will be a lot more unpleasant. [He never stops smiling even as he turns off the video.]

Comments

[burntbridges]

[She giggles at the tickle of his lips on her neck, and she tips her head to the side to give him more room.]

I don't really know what I'm doing at all... [She lets out a little sigh.] The closer my daughter comes, the more worried I get about it. I'm worried that I'll- that I might make some stupid mistake, that I might- leave her alone a moment too long, or forget to feed her, or- something just stupid, and she'll die.

[It might be a silly worry, and she knows babies aren't exactly that fragile, but the fear is so great that she begins to shake at the thought. Just within that sentence her expression twists from cheery affection to the very edge of bursting into tears. She's done such a good job of distracting herself from her fears, but... by Ivar's side, she has a safe enough space to let that barrier go. And boy, is she terrified of parenthood.]

[ragnarsson]

[He strokes his hand through her long hair, inhaling the scent of her's that was uniquely Letha's. His whole body began to relax as sleep began to overtake him.]

Nobody is perfect. I learned that well enough from my own parents. Just love her and do your best and the rest will fall into place.

[He tries to soothe her worried expression. Ivar can't stand it when she cries, for he never knows how to react. He hasn't cried since he was a child.]

[burntbridges]

[His touch is comforting, and his words even more so. He's so matter-of-fact, mature about it... it's exactly the sort of anchor she needs when her head's full of worry-clouds. She turns to face him properly, running her hands over his cheeks and then slowly slipping them down to his neck and his chest. She's no longer in danger of crying, but... there's still a strong sadness in her face.]

I don't deserve someone as level-headed as you. [There's a bit of bitter laughter that escapes her; she has the sense very few people would describe Ivar as 'level-headed', but... compared to her foolish antics and hairpin mood swings, he always seems like the calm and logical one.] I haven't done a single thing to deserve you, and... I'm afraid something will pull us apart to right the scales.

[ragnarsson]

[His heartbeat goes up, as it always does, when her hands touch him. She's so frail sometimes, someone who needs to be protected from the world. He likes feeling like he can be the one to do it. She'll never have to worry about feeling safe while he's around.]

Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. [He definitely keeps waiting for something to happen, for nothing lasts in his life forever. But she doesn't need to know that right now. All it will do is worry her.] Let's focus on right now instead.

[He's feeling awful tired and so he pulls her close, letting her hands rest on his chest. It's a good way to fall asleep. Maybe being kept awake wasn't so bad.]