video @ellie

[pundemic]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Each of those words has a separate amount of emphasis. Ellie is holding her hands up and gesturing like she's trying to make an invisible margarita or something. Anyone who's ever been around teens should recognize the fact it's teenagerese for some form of frustration.]

I'm bored out of my fucking mind. Anybody want to go exploring? Monster hunting?

[Basically: her AU was that she never lost Riley, that it was the two of them that went across America in search of the Fireflies. She never met Joel at all, and her feelings about that whole mess are so mixed she's even willing to go shopping just to take her mind off it.]

2 [anonymous//video]

[smokedout]

[The video starts up a bit like an old 70's VHS tape; grainy quality, washed-out colors, that weird lilt in the music as it starts up. The specific music that plays is a bright and cheery tune from the 50's, like something one would find on the shopping channel back in the day.

What it actually shows is a crude puppet, with a scribbled-on baseball for a head and googly eyes that have weirdly realistic irises. It seems to be made to exist in a permanent state of shock, or... terror. Everything about the image is just a little bit wrong.]

Hey you! Yes, you!

[The words appear on a sort of title card, like a silent film, as if the creator hasn't mixed around with his vintage inspiration enough. And then the puppet can be seen spinning to look at the screen, its eyes jostled in their plastic sockets. Gross.]

Are you in need of PROTECTION AGAINST MONSTERS? Do you suspect someone isn't TELLING THE TRUTH?
Do you enjoy the RUSH OF FEAR? Do you seek to TEST YOUR LOYALTIES?
Do you wish to DEEPEN YOUR BONDS? (Or LIVEN YOUR INTIMATE LIFE?)

[In the style of certain vintage-themed video games, the puppet can be seen in between these pitches engaged in actions related to each question. Pointing a spear at a stuffed animal of some monster. Crying at his bedside. Hiding from shadows in a corner of a room. Shoving another puppet off of a cliff. Hugging another equally not-quite-right puppet... and then a very crude display in the last clip (but at least they're not anatomically correct).

Finally the brand name flashes across the screen, in bright, rainbow, neon letters.]

LAMPYR
is here for you.

Enroll below for beta testing of this sensational product!

[At the very bottom of the screen, very small and blurry text flashes by very fast; if one goes through it frame-by-frame and squints they may notice the words "Test subjects will be selected randomly. Experiments will occur when subjects least expect." Some frames also seem to be replaced by arcane symbols and satanic imagery, as if to scare those trying to read the small text. If one is watching at normal speed, this all flashes by in the blink of an eye before the video suddenly cuts out. Hmm...]

γ → un: ghostking

[deathkid]

[ the view this time is of nico, sitting atop a gravestone. there's a fire crackling nearby, the glow making him look even more gaunt and sinister than usual ( if the dark hair, italian cheekbones emphasized by dark circles under his eyes, and the nearly all black clothing decorated with skulls aren't enough ). against the headstone he's sitting on rests a lethal looking, pure black sword.

it might seem like the beginnings of a horror movie of some sort, except nico is currently munching on french fries while gazing at the toy figurine he got with his quarantine equivalent of a happy meal. it's a pirate, of all things. ]

For those of you who are unaware, I am providing funeral services for anyone who decides to die heroically. Shroud burning, free of charge.

[ cheerful, isn't he. ]

Fortunately, I haven't had to do so yet, but where I'm from it's pretty common, so I might as well offer it here too. Trust me, though. Burning your body is best. You don't know who might decide to raise you from the dead.

[ and he gives a snap of his fingers. the earth at the feet of the tombstone he's sitting on begins to shift and soon enough, a skeletal hand begins climbing out. nico flashes a wry grin, and then turns the feed off. ]